The Glamour of Being a Big Mandolin Star

[JimKo]

Played a Wino Festival on Saturday. As I was backing my truck up to unload ,out of the corner of my eye, caught large mahogany sphere with a thin blue strip of material in the center of it. Took me a second to realize it was a large black girl in a blue thong who was bent over trying to get ants out of her pants.
Later, while singing (not chording or playing a break) this old geezer come up, gets right in my ear and says “My wife and I are both from Kentucky. If we get divorced are we still first cousins?”. As he walked away, his cane got tangled in my mic chord and almost smashed it.
To top things off the fiddle player, pulled his vehicle in too close, didn’t see the inspection pipe for the septic system, and put a hole the size of small fist in his oil pan or transfer case. ABS pipe perforated his metal. Remind me not to buy a Volkswagen.

I could probably write more but right now I have to head to the Winery to clean up the oil spell. Funny thing is that we really did have a good time playing.

[Hudmister]

I need more entertainment in my life, been to a few dull festivals. Can I go with you the next time, you seem to be a fun magnet.

[MikeZito]

I played a fair one time where a garbage can was placed next to the stage . . . so naturally, half-way through my set, a garbage truck pulls up, parks directly in front of the stage, and starts emptying a half-dozen garbage cans into the truck. Two songs later, as he is leaving, the garbage guy looks up at me and says, 'Oh, sorry - I didn't see you there'.

Or the time a drunk was passed out on a park bench 10 feet away from the stage. A policeman pulls up on his motorcycle and starts blasting his siren try to wake the guy up. Two songs later, as he is leaving, the policeman looks over at me and says, 'Oh, sorry - I didn't see you there'.

The stories we could all tell are endless . . . . so, let's have them!

[Astro]

I was in a "band" once that agreed to play a free show at a cafe that was hoping to get into being more of a music venue.

When we got there, there was no where for us to play. The manager said he was planning to move out a couch, an old unuseable piano, and tables to create a stage area and asked would we mind moving them so we could set up there. After some deliberation, we reluctantly decided to help. He didnt have any male staff and it was either that or not play after we had all our friends and family coming to hear us.

We brought more folks into that gig than they'd had in awhile and after that they kept our stage area and did become a music venue.

So the moral of the story is, if you need some furniture moved, find some musicians who will play for free and invite them over to gig after they move the furniture.

[Teak]

When we got there, there was no where for us to play. The manager said he was planning to move out a couch, an old unuseable piano, and tables to create a stage area and asked would we mind moving them so we could set up there. After some deliberation, we reluctantly decided to help. He didnt have any male staff and it was either that or not play after we had all our friends and family coming to hear us.

So the moral of the story is, if you need some furniture moved, find some musicians who will play for free and invite them over to gig after they move the furniture.

Ouch.

I had a similar experience, but not musically related. One time I was traveling to southern China to check out teaching opportunities in that area. It was suggested that I stop by an agent's office in Hong Kong in order to get the contact details of some of his teachers, who could give me an idea about job opportunities and living conditions.

When I showed up at the guy's office, he had just received delivery of a bunch of heavy boxes of books that needed to get moved from the landing to the second floor. He was quite heavyset and I was still young and spry (and stupid) so I accepted his offer to assist. Instead, he went upstairs and sat down while I moved all of the boxes in Hong Kong's heat and humidity.

When I got done moving the boxes, he said, "Sorry, but I can't give out any details about the teachers that I represent in China. Goodbye. There is a taxi stand down the street."

At least you got to play at the cafe.

[Peter Coronado]

Played a Wino Festival on Saturday.

Just the thought of a gig at such a festival makes me LOL!

[Northwest Steve]

Sounds like the start to a new tune.

[CES]

Ouch.

I had a similar experience, but not musically related. One time I was traveling to southern China to check out teaching opportunities in that area. It was suggested that I stop by an agent's office in Hong Kong in order to get the contact details of some of his teachers, who could give me an idea about job opportunities and living conditions.

When I showed up at the guy's office, he had just received delivery of a bunch of heavy boxes of books that needed to get moved from the landing to the second floor. He was quite heavyset and I was still young and spry (and stupid) so I accepted his offer to assist. Instead, he went upstairs and sat down while I moved all of the boxes in Hong Kong's heat and humidity.

When I got done moving the boxes, he said, "Sorry, but I can't give out any details about the teachers that I represent in China. Goodbye. There is a taxi stand down the street."

At least you got to play at the cafe.

I'd have moved them all back outside...