Musician Jokes

[Boharm]

To this day I am not sure if this was said as a joke. When I was younger and had lots of breath, I was a flute player in a symphony. I sat next to a very young prim and proper woman who played the oboe. She said, making small talk about the weekend, “French horn players are the best kissers, but they sure hold you funny.”

[journeybear]

Full disclosure: I play tenor.

Well ... not entirely full disclosure, as your sig also mentions you play banjo, which seems to be the macguffin in the cartoon.

[James Todd]

A public service announcement: musicians in Indianapolis beware! I went into a Starbucks the other day, and left my banjo in the back seat. I must have left the door unlocked because when I returned, the worst thing in the world had happened: there were two banjos in the back seat, and an accordion!

[James Todd]

Three guys are waiting at St. Peter’s Pearly Gates for their Introduction to Heaven. St. Peter tells them “it’s not known on Earth but here in Heaven we place you according to your average annual earnings and what you did for a living”.
The first guy approaches and says “I earned an average of $200K in Earth and I was a doctor”.
St Peter says “Welcome to heaven, we have a nice place up on the hill for you.”
The second guy says “Well, I made a decent living of about $150K by being a lawyer”.
St. Peter says “Welcome to Heaven, we have a nice place for you over the hill in the valley”
The third guy says “Well, on a good year I could make about $4K dollars if I was lucky”.
St Peter says “Cool! What instrument do you play?”

[Sue Rieter]

Stolen from Instagram:

[JeffD]

My nephew asked me, many years ago, "Uncle Jeff why do you play mandolin? Isn't that something musicians do?"