Hah! Now THAT made me chuckle.
M&M
Hah! Now THAT made me chuckle.
M&M
Last edited by Joe Dodson; Nov-13-2019 at 1:53pm. Reason: I'm unable to proof read the first time I post anything
Just saw this, but i haven't looked through the string to see if it's already been posted, so apologies if it is:
"My goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Lydian and Diminished. The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales."
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1920 Lyon & Healy bowlback
1923 Gibson A-1 snakehead
1952 Strad-o-lin
1983 Giannini ABSM1 bandolim
2009 Giannini GBSM3 bandolim
2011 Eastman MD305
Mandolin: Kentucky KM150
Other instruments: way too many, and yet, not nearly enough.
My blog: https://theoffgridmusician.music.blog/
My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChF...yWuaTrtB4YORAg
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/africanbanjogunnar/
Free backing tracks:
https://backingtrackers.wordpress.com/
A security guy told me this joke about a mandolin when he saw my case...I told him "that sounds like a banjo joke!!"
Last edited by Mandowino; Feb-11-2020 at 7:09pm. Reason: needed to include the quote from earlier post "Whats the difference between an onion and a banjo"
Old pickup w/an "I ❤️ Mando" sticker on the tailgate tearing down the road gets pulled over by the sheriff.
-Sheriff: "Good afternoon sir, do you have any ID?"
-Driver: "Idee 'bout whauut?"
i have a lot of musician friends who find some of the best jokes. Here's another: "I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven't got a gig."
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1920 Lyon & Healy bowlback
1923 Gibson A-1 snakehead
1952 Strad-o-lin
1983 Giannini ABSM1 bandolim
2009 Giannini GBSM3 bandolim
2011 Eastman MD305
A banjo player came to take the entrance exam to the conservatory of music. The examiner asked him "What is the subdominant of C?" The banjo player looked confused and perplexed and just stood there. The examiner asked him "What is the matter? Don't you know what a subdominant chord is?"
The banjo player says "I thought C was the subdominant chord."
What's the best pickup to put on a banjo?
An F-150.
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Miles Davis finishes his lunch, and the waitress aske him if he'd like dessert.
He says, "Sure! How about some apple pie."
She says, "Oh, Mister Davis, the apple pie is gone."
He says, "Crazy, baby! I'll take two slices!"
The late great Victor Borge once told the story of a man he met at an airport who said that he wished he’d brought his piano with him. When the man’s wife asked him why he said it was because he’d left the airline tickets on it.
I once followed a performer who was so bad the audience boo'd all through my banjo solo.
Murphy's 50/50/90 Rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
That’s very good.
A man goes into a pawn shop in San Francisco and, for the purpose of this joke, buys a dead rat. He walks out of the shop holding the rat by the tail.
After walking a block or two he gets a feeling he's being followed and looks behind him, and there's a rat walking a few yards in back of him. He turns back and continues to walk. A few blocks later he looks behind him, and now there are a dozen rats following him. He quickens his pace.
A block later he looks behind him and there are now hundreds of rats following him. he breaks into a run. After another block he glances back and there are thousands of rats running behind him.
He runs down to the Embarcadero, runs to the end of a pier, throws the dead rat into the Bay, and the thousands of rats all run past him, jump into the Bay and drown.
The man watches all of this open-mouthed. He turns and runs back to the pawn shop, goes up to the proprietor and asks: "Got any banjos?"
Corona Virus joke.
https://youtu.be/7yJrsY9elgo
Ha, ha, Bertram, I’m in a high risk group, I want to go laughing!
Made me smile every time because I just like hearing you say jag-you-were.
No matter where I go, there I am...Unless I'm running a little late.
David Hopkins
2001 Gibson F-5L mandolin
Breedlove Legacy FF mandolin; Breedlove Quartz FF mandolin
Gibson F-4 mandolin (1916); Blevins f-style Octave mandolin, 2018
McCormick Oval Sound Hole "Reinhardt" Mandolin
McCormick Solid Body F-Style Electric Mandolin; Slingerland Songster Guitar (c. 1939)
The older I get, the less tolerant I am of political correctness, incompetence and stupidity.
Never had Corona virus but I've suffered from the Guinness virus a time or two...
No matter where I go, there I am...Unless I'm running a little late.
Due to COVID-19 I shall be self-isolating; just me and my banjo. Nothing new there then.
COVID-19 hasn't changed anything for me....yet. Tomorrow's another day.
I know why toilet paper sales has skyrocketed. Everytime somebody sneezes, a hundred people crap in their pants. Everyone is so health conscious that you could probably rob a bank with a booger.
David Hopkins
2001 Gibson F-5L mandolin
Breedlove Legacy FF mandolin; Breedlove Quartz FF mandolin
Gibson F-4 mandolin (1916); Blevins f-style Octave mandolin, 2018
McCormick Oval Sound Hole "Reinhardt" Mandolin
McCormick Solid Body F-Style Electric Mandolin; Slingerland Songster Guitar (c. 1939)
The older I get, the less tolerant I am of political correctness, incompetence and stupidity.
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