Funny Country Song Titles
I used to play in a classic country duo, and while looking for material I came upon some lists of funny country song titles. They weren't all funny, some were just weird, or stupid, but most of the time, clearly an attempt had been made to create a memorable turn of phrase though using puns and other wordplay. I compiled a list of these, four pages long, and would read from it for comic relief. Funny to think it was through this process that I first heard of Kenny Chesney (''She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy'')
This has been on my mind for a few weeks, since I saw Jeff Daniels (yes, the actor) do a song he wrote called ''Baby, Take Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye'' on Craig Ferguson's show. It was two minutes of brilliance and sarcasm served up with a rollicking ragtime-blues progression. I later learned there are a few songs with nearly the same titles, by Ray Stevens and John Denver, and Waylon Jennings had a song ''Kissing You Goodbye'' with that entire sentence in its refrain. Here is the song that started it all, with a couple others for comparison. I assume this particular turn of phrase was irresistible to songwriters of a humorous bent.
This came up recently on another thread, and I thought it best to start a thread devoted to this immensely illuminating topic, rather than continue to derail that one. I've lost the old list, and had to take a little time to come up with a new one. So I present this list for your amusement and enlightenment, and it surely will be added upon over time. It's in two parts owing to its length. Sorry the break comes right between the eyes. Nothing to be done; too many I’s on this list …
[Disclaimer: Don’t shoot the messenger! If you have questions regarding these, bear in mind I am the editor, not the writer or compiler. I know only about twenty of these songs myself; I make no claim as to the accuracy or even existence of all of these. Indeed, some of the songs on the list are all-time country classics; I assume their inclusion is due to the taste of someone who doesn’t know better. And since country music deals with adult themes and strong emotions, some of these titles may be offensive and even risqué. Please just enjoy them as you will. And feel free to add more titles as you see fit. And moderators - My eyes began to glaze over after a certain point. If I let anything too naughty slip through please just remove it rather than the whole thing. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Hey - that could be a song right there! Hmmm ...]
All I Want From You (Is Away)
All My Exes Live In Texas
All The Guys That Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Am I Double Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?
Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus?
Are You On The Top 40 Of The Lord?
At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self Service Pump
Billy Broke My Heart At Walgreens And I Cried All The Way To Sears
Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Bubba's Inconvenience Store
Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
Come Out Of The Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against The Grain
Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
Cow Cow Strut
Did I Shave My Legs For This?
Do You Love As Good As You Look?
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' In With A Load!
Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' With Lovin' On Your Mind
Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride
Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
Don't Squeeze My Sharmon
Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life)
Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
Get Off The Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars Is For The Beer)
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Git Up Off'n The Floor Hannah (A Bitter New Year's Eve)
Going To Hell In Your Heavenly Arms
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
High Cost Of Low Living
Hold On To Your Men’cause She's Single Again
How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
How Can I Get Over You If You Won't Get Out From Under Me?
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Bought The Shoes That Just Walked Out On Me
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Can't Pass The Bar, And There's One On My Way Home
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Do Floors
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
I Fell For Her, She Fell For Him, And He Fell For Me
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
I Gave Her The Ring, And She Gave Me The Finger
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
I Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waitin In Your Welfare Line
I Got Through Everything But The Door
I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
I Meant Every Word That He Said
I Only Miss You On The Days That End In " Y "
I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning)
I Sent Her Artifical Flowers For Her Artificial Love
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Want A Beer As Cold As My Ex-Wife's Heart
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me
I Went Back To My Fourth Wife For The Third Time And Gave Her A Second Chance To Make A First Class Fool Out Of Me
I Wish I Were A Lesbian
I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Would Kiss You Through The Screendoor But It'd Strain Our Love
I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing
I'd Rather Pass A Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You
Last edited by journeybear; Sep-15-2012 at 6:56pm.
Reason: One of these really had to go! Really funny but really naughty ...
But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller
Furthering Mandolin Consciousness
Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!
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