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Thread: Funny Country Song Titles

  1. #1
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Funny Country Song Titles

    I used to play in a classic country duo, and while looking for material I came upon some lists of funny country song titles. They weren't all funny, some were just weird, or stupid, but most of the time, clearly an attempt had been made to create a memorable turn of phrase though using puns and other wordplay. I compiled a list of these, four pages long, and would read from it for comic relief. Funny to think it was through this process that I first heard of Kenny Chesney (''She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy'')

    This has been on my mind for a few weeks, since I saw Jeff Daniels (yes, the actor) do a song he wrote called ''Baby, Take Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye'' on Craig Ferguson's show. It was two minutes of brilliance and sarcasm served up with a rollicking ragtime-blues progression. I later learned there are a few songs with nearly the same titles, by Ray Stevens and John Denver, and Waylon Jennings had a song ''Kissing You Goodbye'' with that entire sentence in its refrain. Here is the song that started it all, with a couple others for comparison. I assume this particular turn of phrase was irresistible to songwriters of a humorous bent.









    This came up recently on another thread, and I thought it best to start a thread devoted to this immensely illuminating topic, rather than continue to derail that one. I've lost the old list, and had to take a little time to come up with a new one. So I present this list for your amusement and enlightenment, and it surely will be added upon over time. It's in two parts owing to its length. Sorry the break comes right between the eyes. Nothing to be done; too many I’s on this list …

    [Disclaimer: Don’t shoot the messenger! If you have questions regarding these, bear in mind I am the editor, not the writer or compiler. I know only about twenty of these songs myself; I make no claim as to the accuracy or even existence of all of these. Indeed, some of the songs on the list are all-time country classics; I assume their inclusion is due to the taste of someone who doesn’t know better. And since country music deals with adult themes and strong emotions, some of these titles may be offensive and even risqué. Please just enjoy them as you will. And feel free to add more titles as you see fit. And moderators - My eyes began to glaze over after a certain point. If I let anything too naughty slip through please just remove it rather than the whole thing. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Hey - that could be a song right there! Hmmm ...]

    All I Want From You (Is Away)
    All My Exes Live In Texas
    All The Guys That Turn Me On Turn Me Down
    Am I Double Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?
    Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus?
    Are You On The Top 40 Of The Lord?
    At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self Service Pump
    Billy Broke My Heart At Walgreens And I Cried All The Way To Sears
    Bubba Shot The Jukebox
    Bubba's Inconvenience Store
    Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
    Come Out Of The Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against The Grain
    Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
    Cow Cow Strut
    Did I Shave My Legs For This?
    Do You Love As Good As You Look?
    Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
    Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
    Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' In With A Load!
    Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' With Lovin' On Your Mind
    Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride
    Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
    Don't Squeeze My Sharmon
    Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
    Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life)
    Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
    Get Off The Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars Is For The Beer)
    Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
    Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
    Git Up Off'n The Floor Hannah (A Bitter New Year's Eve)
    Going To Hell In Your Heavenly Arms
    Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
    Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
    Heaven's Just A Sin Away
    Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
    Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
    Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
    Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
    Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
    High Cost Of Low Living
    Hold On To Your Men’cause She's Single Again
    How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
    How Can I Get Over You If You Won't Get Out From Under Me?
    How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
    How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
    How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
    I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
    I Bought The Shoes That Just Walked Out On Me
    I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
    I Can't Pass The Bar, And There's One On My Way Home
    I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
    I Don't Do Floors
    I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
    I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
    I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
    I Fell For Her, She Fell For Him, And He Fell For Me
    I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
    I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
    I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
    I Gave Her The Ring, And She Gave Me The Finger
    I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
    I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
    I Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waitin In Your Welfare Line
    I Got Through Everything But The Door
    I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
    I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
    I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
    I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
    I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
    I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones
    I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
    I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
    I Meant Every Word That He Said
    I Only Miss You On The Days That End In " Y "
    I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning)
    I Sent Her Artifical Flowers For Her Artificial Love
    I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
    I Wanna Whip Your Cow
    I Want A Beer As Cold As My Ex-Wife's Heart
    I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
    I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me
    I Went Back To My Fourth Wife For The Third Time And Gave Her A Second Chance To Make A First Class Fool Out Of Me
    I Wish I Were A Lesbian
    I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
    I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
    I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
    I Would Kiss You Through The Screendoor But It'd Strain Our Love
    I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
    I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
    I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing
    I'd Rather Pass A Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You
    Last edited by journeybear; Sep-15-2012 at 6:56pm. Reason: One of these really had to go! Really funny but really naughty ...
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will
    If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
    If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
    If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
    If I Had A Nose Full Of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo!
    If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You
    If I Had My Life To Live Over, I'd Live Over A Delicatessen
    If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
    If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
    If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me
    If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Jail By Now
    If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?
    If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
    If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It Al On You
    If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
    If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen The Train
    If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love
    If The Devil Danced In Empty Pockets, He'd Have A Ball In Mine
    If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
    If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
    If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back In
    If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure
    If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me
    If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It
    If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl
    If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
    If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?
    If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
    If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
    If You Ever Get The Feelin' I Don't Love You, Feel Again
    If You Got The Money, Honey, I Got The Time
    If You Leave Me I'm Gone
    If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
    If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave
    If You Want To Keep The Beer Real Cold, Put It Next To My Ex-Wife's Heart
    If You Want Your Freedom PDQ, Divorce Me COD
    If You’re Gonna Do Him Wrong Again, You Might As Well Do Him Wrong Again With Me!
    If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right
    I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
    I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
    I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams
    I'm Drinkin Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year)
    I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
    I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
    I'm Gonna Put A Bar In The Back Of My Car And Drive Myself To Drink
    I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon
    I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail
    I'm In Love With A Capital U
    I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
    I'm Just An Old Chunk Of Coal (But I'm Gonna Be A Diamond Someday)
    I'm Not Married But The Wife Is
    I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey
    I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
    I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
    I'm Under The Table Over You
    Is It Cold In Here, Or Is It Just You?
    It Ain't Easy Being Easy
    It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
    It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
    It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)
    It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
    It Took A Helluva Man To Take My Anne, But It Sure Didn't Take Him Long
    It's Not The High Cost Of Living, It's The Cost Of Living High
    I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
    I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
    I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night
    I've Got A Cowboy In The Saddle, And Another One's Holding My Horse
    I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat!
    I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time
    I've Got Tears In My Eyes From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You
    I've Got The Cob, If You've Got The Corn
    I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
    I've Heard That Tear Stained Monologue You Do There By The Door Before You Go
    Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green And Purple Pills
    Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
    Jim, I Wore A Tie Today
    Last Night I Went To Bed With A "10" And Woke This Morning With A "2"
    Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket
    Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me
    Legendary Chicken Fairy
    Make Me Late For Work Today
    Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
    May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
    Meet Me In The Gravel Pit, Honey, Cuz I'm A Little Boulder There
    Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy?
    My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
    My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
    My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
    My Lips Want To Stay (But My Heart Wants To Go)
    My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn't You
    My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
    Nashville Rash
    Ned Nostril (And His South Seas Paradise, Put Your Blues On Ice, Cheap At Twice The Price Band, Icky Icky Ucky Ucky)
    No Way, Conway (I Ain't Gonna Twitty Tonight)
    Occasional Wife
    Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
    Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way
    Our Love Is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't The Same
    Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
    Overlonely And Underkissed
    Pardon Me, I've Been Pardoned
    Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
    Phantom Of The Opry
    Pick Me Up On Your Way Down
    Pick Me Up Or Let Me Down
    Plastic Jesus
    Please Bypass This Heart
    Poultry Promenade
    Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer
    Red Necks, White Socks, And Blue Ribbon Beer
    Redneck Martians Stole My Baby
    Refried Dreams
    Run For The Roundhouse Nellie (He Can't Corner You There)
    Saddle Up The Stove Ma, I'm Riding The Range Tonight
    She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw
    She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed Anytime
    She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
    She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
    She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
    She Looks Good Through The Bottom Of My Shot Glass
    She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
    She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, And All Through The Night It Was Honor And Offer
    She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
    She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
    She's Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles
    She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
    She's Got The Rhythm (And I Got The Blues)
    She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
    Slap 'Er Down Again Paw
    Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
    Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
    Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
    Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
    Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
    The Alcohall Of Fame
    The Bridge Washed Out And I Can't Swim And My Baby's On The Other Side
    The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
    The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me)
    The Old Home Fill 'Er Up And Keep On Truckin' Cafe"
    The Pint Of No Return
    There Ain't Enough Room In My Fruit Of The Looms To Hold All My Lovin' For You
    There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal
    There's A Tear In My Beer
    They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
    This Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad
    This White Circle On My Finger Means We're Through
    Tight Fittin' Jeans
    Timber I'm Fallin In Love
    Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
    Trainwreck Of Emotion
    Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother
    Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
    Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
    Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
    Warm Beer And Cold Kisses
    Warm Beer Cold Women
    We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now
    Welcome To Dumpsville, Population Me
    What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me)
    When The Lightning Struck The Coon Creek Party Line
    When We Get Back To The Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
    When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
    When You Wrapped My Lunch In A Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye
    Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
    Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?
    Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
    Who's Makin' Time With The Time Keeper's Daughter, When The Time Keeper's Keepin' Time?
    Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
    Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw
    Why Have You Left The One You Left Me For?
    Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?
    Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
    Yard Sale
    You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'
    You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog ('S Leavins')
    You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man
    You Can Lock Me Up In Jail & Throw Away The Key, But You Can't Keep My Face From Breaking Out
    You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
    You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
    You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
    You Changed Your Name From Brown To Jones, And Mine From Brown To Blue
    You Done Stomped On My Heart (And You Mashed That Sucker Flat)
    You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
    You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
    You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
    You'd Think My Bed Was A Bus Stop, The Way You Come And Go
    Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns
    Your Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life
    You're A Cross I Can't Bear
    You're A Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
    You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation
    You're Out Of Step (With The Beat Of My Heart)
    You're Ruining My Bad Reputation
    You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off
    You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
    You're The Ring Around My Bathtub, You're The Hangnail Of My Life
    You've Already Put Big Old Tears In My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt In My Face?
    You've Got Sawdust On The Floor Of Your Heart

    And the John Denver one. Typically gentle, soft-focus, takes forever to get to the punchline, but cute.

    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  4. #3
    Registered User Charles E.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Aint no UFO gonna beat my Diesel.
    Charley

    A bunch of stuff with four strings

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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Here's one from John Hartford's first record:
    "I've Heard That Tear Stained Monologue You
    Do There By The Door Before You Go"

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    Registered User Gerry Hastie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles



    This one is funny and the video is very amusing too.

    "It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew My Ass Out All Day Long."
    GerryHastie

    "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
    - Albert Schweitzer

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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Most of these sound like Irish sayings, like "Though the honey be sweet, do not lick it off a briar".

    I can't help thinking that this recurring "I am over you" topic is just wishful thinking and thereby opposite proof, and that this is the really funny part (like Fred Flintstone mumbling "I love my mother-in-law, I love my mother-in-law"). Whatever you are over with is supposed to be out of your mind, so how can you write a song about it, etc. etc.
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

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    Carpe Mandolinium
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"
    and, possibly concerning her husband:
    "I'm My Own Grandpa"

    "Help Me Make Through the Yard"
    == JOHN ==



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    coprolite mandroid's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Inevitably, when the local Tavern has NASCAR, on the TV , Capt'n Ron puts 'Jeff Gordon's Gay' ,
    on the I-jukebox..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1w7Fh7VNto
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    My dad knew a version of the one song: I Like Bananas Because They Have A Peel. I sang that one and the other (because they have no bones) to my kids (the title is the whole song, by the way) and cemented my place in their hearts as really, really eye-rolling.
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by Charles E. View Post
    Aint no UFO gonna beat my Diesel.
    Trying to imagine the song that goes with this title. That would be awesome.

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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    When I was a kid I use to sing an old Homer and Jethro song: "Daddy Played First Base" sung to the tune of Daddy Sang Bass.

    one of the lines: we played the red legs and beat their legs off, we played the red sox and beat their socks off, we played the Astros, but it rained that day..

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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by Darin Cochran View Post
    When I was a kid I use to sing an old Homer and Jethro song: "Daddy Played First Base" sung to the tune of Daddy Sang Bass.

    one of the lines: we played the red legs and beat their legs off, we played the red sox and beat their socks off, we played the Astros, but it rained that day..

    Hey...

  14. #13

    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by lespaul_79 View Post
    Trying to imagine the song that goes with this title. That would be awesome.
    Well, since you asked.....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twe7uLkRayY

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    Registered User Charles E.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by lespaul_79 View Post
    Trying to imagine the song that goes with this title. That would be awesome.
    Here it is in all it's cheesy wonderfulness.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l7aOTi5iSE
    Charley

    A bunch of stuff with four strings

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    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    I've done a little more sifting through the interweb and turned up some more entries, plus the ones you've been posting, and am adding these to the list. Well, eventually - this is the to-be-added list. I think some of these are more novelty tunes than country songs, but I'm also pretty sure they would track well in a sawdust-on-the-floor honky-tonk. The version of the UFO song Charley came up with is by Joe Dolce, who had a good-sized hit a few years back with ''Shaddap Your Face,'' in mock Italian. Good call with the Vince Gill song, Gerry - that's real recent, as is the Brad Paisley song about ticks. Shows the tradition continues. In fact, I first heard Vince's song when he played it on a talk show, and I about fell on the floor when he got to the punch line! I really wasn't ready for that.

    Ain’t No UFO Gonna Catch My Diesel
    Am I Double Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?
    And There was Grandma, Swingin' On The Outhouse Door, Without A Shirt On
    C’mon Down Off The Stove, Granny, You’re Too Old To Ride The Range
    Don’t Cry On My Shoulders Cause Your Rustin’ My Spurs
    Don’t Run Through The Screen Door Honey You’ll Only Strain Yourself
    Forget The Night, Help Me Make It Through The Door
    Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
    Hair In My Eyes Like A Highland Steer
    Help Me Make It Through The Yard
    He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk
    I Can’t Love Your Body if Your Heart’s Not In It
    I Just Can't Get Over How You've Gotten Over Me
    I Just Couldn’t Leave Her Behind Alone
    I Just Fell In Something And I Sure Hope It’s Love
    I Kissed Her On The Lips, And Left Her Behind for You
    I Like Bananas Because They Have A Peel
    I Lost Freida On The Freeway
    I Only Have Eyes For You, But Look What I’ve Got For Your Sister
    I Slipped And Fell In Love
    I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me
    I Wanna Check You For Ticks
    I Wanna Kiss Her But She Won’t Let Me
    If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me
    If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You
    If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me Not Calling You Up
    I'm My Own Grandpa
    I’m Sorry I Made You Cry, But At Least Your Face Is Cleaner
    It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
    Jeff Gordon's Gay
    Love Me Like My Dog Does
    My Give-A-Damn's Busted
    My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna, But My Wisdom Tooth Says
    Now I Lay Me Down To Cheat
    Peekin’ Through the Knothole In Grandma’s Wooden Leg
    Peel Me A Nanner
    Saddle Up the Stove, Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight
    Since You Bought The Waterbed We’ve Slowly Drifted Apart
    Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
    You Stuck My Heart In An Old Tin Can And Shot It Off A Log
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  17. #16
    Carpe Mandolinium
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    Smile Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    I've done a little more sifting through the interweb and turned up some more entries....
    Hey! No Fair!!

    I already listed I'm My Own Grandpa and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.

    (Just kidding ; this is all fair game.)

    Funny thing is, if you take the time to work out the genealogy in I'm My Own Grandpa, it actually does work: A family tree with circles and spirals in it, but nothing naughty.
    == JOHN ==



    Music washes away from the soul the dust of every day life.

    --Berthold Auerbach



  18. #17
    Registered User
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    I played in a bluegrass band in upstate New York many years ago, and the guitar player used to do a funny version of a famous country gospel tune, which he titled "Mother's Not Dead, She'd Only Been Drinking."

  19. #18
    Confused... or?
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    I Still Write Your Name In the Snow. (An instrumental by Chet Atkins, I think).
    - Ed

    "What our group lacks in musicianship is offset by our willingness to humiliate ourselves." - David Hochman

  20. #19
    Spencer Sorenson Spencer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Wasn't there a song something like "Please Daddy, don't get drunk this Christmas"? Many years ago, I think on the old WLS Barn Dance, somebody sang a song with a title or line, "I'll never forget what's her name"

    Spencer

  21. #20
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by John McCoy View Post
    Hey! No Fair!!

    I already listed I'm My Own Grandpa and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.
    But - but - Did you not see the very next phrase: "plus the ones you've been posting???" OOPS!

    Quote Originally Posted by Spencer View Post
    Wasn't there a song something like "Please Daddy, don't get drunk this Christmas"? Many years ago, I think on the old WLS Barn Dance, somebody sang a song with a title or line, "I'll never forget what's her name"
    I vaguely remember that. I think that was a big hit back in I forget when by I can't remember who. And the other song - that's not funny; that's so sad!
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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    Groucho Marxist Geordie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Conway Twitty has a song called "I've Already Loved You In My Mind", which, combined with the album cover, always struck me as kinda creepy...

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Let's all go back to 78 rpm!

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  24. #22
    but that's just me Bertram Henze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Quote Originally Posted by Geordie View Post
    kinda creepy...
    I'll say. There's a man who sweeps the burger bar kitchen every night, especially round the freezer where he keeps the bodies...
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

  25. #23
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    On the back of "Big Bad John " by Jimmy Dean, "I won't Go Huntin' With You Jake, But I'll Go Chasin" Women"

  26. #24

    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    Five pounds of possum

    I met my baby in the porta john line

    Rogain (done to Cocaine)

    When You're Screwing Other Women (Think of Me)

  27. #25
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    Default Re: Funny Country Song Titles

    one of the lines: we played the red legs and beat their legs off, we played the red sox and beat their socks off, we played the Astros, but it rained that day..
    I like this one. Reminds me of the image I conjure up when I think about the spring training Astros - that would be in Kissimmee.
    Bobby Bill

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