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Thread: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

  1. #176
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Well ... As I said, it's a bit "inside." Regularly gigging musicians will get this more than most others. And yeah, it's a bit of a shaggy dog story.

    This band - or rather, conglomeration of players of largely reviled instruments - isn't likely to get another gig until next NYE.
    Reminds me of an interview with Duke Ellington (I think) when he said "That was a really busy time for jazz musicians. Even the good guys had jobs".

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    A drummer walks out of a bar.

    It could happen.

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  4. #178
    Registered User Sue Rieter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Well ... As I said, it's a bit "inside." Regularly gigging musicians will get this more than most others. And yeah, it's a bit of a shaggy dog story.

    This band - or rather, conglomeration of players of largely reviled instruments - isn't likely to get another gig until next NYE.
    I guess, but if they sounded so good, despite their, ah, eclectic instruments, then, now that they are discovered, wouldn't they be getting gigs right and left?

    (Sorry, I've been accused of over-analyzing things on a regular basis )
    Last edited by Sue Rieter; Nov-21-2021 at 4:37pm.

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    Registered User Simon DS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I thought it was a great joke, And I laughed a lot
    -because trombonists Drive trucks, so they put the instruments underneath the stage because his truck had broken down, and it was New Year's Eve so all the garages were closed, and it was funny because trombonists are usually good mechanics.
    And now I'm laughing because Journeybear has explained it, And that's funny too.
    And Sue is now saying that the joke is not very funny, so I'm laughing even more, thanks Sue!

    Does anyone else know if the joke was funny or not?

  6. #180
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sue Rieter View Post
    if they sounded so good, despite their, ah, eclectic instruments, then, now that they are discovered, wouldn't they be getting gigs right and left?
    Not the point. Besides, they've been playing together for a long time, and this was very likely their first gig. They were probably as surprised as the owner that the gig went well. Note that the owner didn't offer them another gig before then. The point is that musicians with regular gigs at the same place often leave their instruments under the stage between gigs. Usually, that's just for a few days or during the week until the next weekend. These guys' next gig is next New Year's Eve.

    So yes - you're over-analyzing this. Or under-analyzing or mis-analyzing it. But actually, you're trying to apply logic to events in the Joke Universe, where normal logic often doesn't apply. Don't overlook the fact that there is not a chance in the world - the real world - that these horrible instruments played together could produce anything other than catastrophic cacophony. But this is the Joke Universe, so what happens doesn't have to make sense, outside of the confines of the joke.

    Well, I think we've managed to kill this joke, or at least squeeze out the last bit of its tiny supply of humor.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  8. #181
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Well, I think we've managed to kill this joke, or at least squeeze out the last bit of its small amount of humor.
    Thanks for that, JB.
    I had a pretty good laugh over your commentary, not only your explanation of the joke, but your reaction to my "analysis"

    Plus, I learned a couple things about the world of gigging musicians.

    But (trying to squeeze out just a tad more humor by applying logic to the Joke Universe) here's another question ... if they stored their instruments under the stage (not just these particular musicians, but any) how would they practice?

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Jim "hey Bob, whats the most important thing in telling musician jo"

    Bob "timing"!
    Charley

    A bunch of stuff with four strings

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  11. #183
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sue Rieter View Post
    if they stored their instruments under the stage (not just these particular musicians, but any) how would they practice?
    Yes, that is (to my mind) the biggest flaw in this joke. I've puzzled over this myself, and my conclusion is related to the Joke Universe analysis, a sort of corollary - whatever happens in the rest of the joke doesn't matter, as long as the set-up leads to the punch line, and the punch line justifies the set-up. What these guys do with or without their instruments the rest of the year is irrelevant to the set-up/punch line dynamic. They're the pitcher/catcher in this game; everyone else is in the field.

    But to try and apply logic here - an exercise in futility - it's entirely likely the band members have practice instruments at home. Yes, even a second theremin. Moreover, if they are indeed so accomplished that they are able to produce beautiful music with this absurd aggregation of loathed instruments, they don't need to practice.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  13. #184
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Well, I think we've managed to kill this joke, or at least squeeze out the last bit of its tiny supply of humor. :
    I second the motion. I enjoyed the joke because it's funny. Next joke please!

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I don't know if i read the original joke, but even if I gigged at the same place 7 days a week I would take my instrument home every night. As a matter of fact I have played the same place 6 days in a row and always took my instrument with me each night.
    THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE JUST FOR YOUR SMILE!

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Lawd ha' mercy! All y'all done killed the joke. Now you're killing the joke thread. All this seriousness ... 13 posts devoted to one joke? Let's hear another joke!
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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    Registered User Dave Hicks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I suggest we consider all of the posts about the trombosawjobagcorditrithere band to be one massive metajoke (it was pretty amusing).

    Now for some less complicated material.

    D.H.

    Last edited by Dave Hicks; Nov-22-2021 at 11:52am.

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  18. #188

    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    The joke here is that, presented by an orchestra today, without title, few in an audience would get the joke at all.

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I've heard and seen it said that back in those times, audience members were much more erudite. They understood much more about music than modern audience members. I wouldn't be surprised. This sort of music was much more common, and present, being that's what was available, and there being much fewer other options. So they would surely have "gotten" such jokes, without having to be prompted.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Well it seems there was a young fellow who decided he wanted to play Bass. His father agrees to pay for it.

    After the first week the Father asks, "How was the lesson?" "Good" says his son, "I learned the E note and the B note!"
    After the second week the Dad checks in again. "Second lesson was great!" says the young man. "I learned the G note and the D note".
    Next week Dad wants to know "How did things go with the third lesson?"

    "No time, Dad" the son relies, "too many gigs".
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    What is the difference between a banjo player and a US savings bond?


    The savings bond matures.
    Life is short, play hard. Life is really really short, play really really hard.

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    funny....

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down.’”
    Bob Newhart
    Life is short, play hard. Life is really really short, play really really hard.

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    funny....

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  28. #193
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simon DS View Post

    Does anyone else know if the joke was funny or not?
    It's funny to me, but then again I did used to gig a long time ago.
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I ran into a friend the other day. He was carrying an enormous pie.

    I said, "holy cow, I never saw such a big pie! I wonder how much it weighs?"

    He said, "I don't even know where I would find a scale big enough to weigh it."

    I said, "why don't you go over the rainbow?"

    "Over the rainbow?" he replied. "Why would I go there?

    Because, I said, "somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie!"

    (A terrible joke I tell my nursing home audiences before I launch into a rendition of the song in question.)
    "The paths of experimentation twist and turn through mountains of miscalculations, and often lose themselves in error and darkness!"
    --Leslie Daniel, "The Brain That Wouldn't Die."

    Some tunes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa1...SV2qtug/videos

  30. #195
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Lawd ha' mercy! All y'all done killed the joke. Now you're killing the joke thread. All this seriousness ... 13 posts devoted to one joke? Let's hear another joke!
    We're not done yet - for those who think jokes are not taken seriously enough, can I recommend a paperback I own (but haven't read) called:

    'Sigmund Freud - 6 Jokes and their relation to the unconscious.'

    Yes, THAT Sigmund Freud. The second sentence in this book reads 'Only a few thinkers can be named who have entered at all seriously into the problems of jokes'.

    Oh yeah, Siggy, tell it again!

  31. #196
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    The suggestion that Journeybear might benefit from a psychological analysis of his unconscious mind due to his joke selection is very interesting. Who else could cause such a critical analysis of a joke and what else is he really up to.

  32. #197
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hudmister View Post
    The suggestion that Journeybear might benefit from a psychological analysis of his unconscious mind due to his joke selection is very interesting.
    Really? "Interesting?" To whom? And how so? Am I a clown, here to amuse you?

    Who else could cause such a critical analysis of a joke and what else is he really up to.
    What is this? Why are you giving me the third degree? Why won't you move on from this and do something else with your time on this earth? If nothing more, you could repeat a joke that's already been told. That seems to be fine with other participants. It would be better than this.

    I've got pretty thick skin, but you're starting to get under it. For the life of me, I don't understand your motivation here. Why keep going around and around about one joke, and then me, and now my psychological state? That is truly ... You know, I'm going to stop right there, because however I'd finish that sentence would be insulting. I'll just say I've come to expect better from most Café members.

    [Warning: Language NSFW. If not everyone knows by now.]


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  33. #198
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    A Zen Buddhist needs a bit of spare cash so he decides to give mandolin lessons.
    A guy sees the advert and calls him up.

    The Zen master says, I can teach you mandolin, it's going to cost you $5000 for two years. At the end of the two years you will be a very happy high intermediate player.

    The student says, high intermediate Player and happy? -that sounds good. But $5000 is quite a lot of money, what if I work twice as hard for one year?
    -then it will take you 5 years.
    Last edited by Simon DS; Nov-23-2021 at 4:12pm.

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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    Two guitar players walk into a bar...you think the second one would have seen it coming.
    Charley

    A bunch of stuff with four strings

  35. #200
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Let's hear your BEST musical joke?

    I think these haven't been told here yet:

    How can you tell which kid on the playground is the trombone player's kid?
    He doesn't know how to work the slide and he can't swing.

    How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They have machines to do that now.

    How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune ?
    Apparently all of them.

    Banjo players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of tune."

    - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -

    Saint Peter is checking in new arrivals in heaven.

    "What did you do on Earth?"
    "I was a surgeon. I helped the lame to walk."
    "Well, go right on in through the Pearly Gates"

    "What did you do on Earth?"
    "I was a school teacher. I taught the blind to see."
    "Fine. Go right on in through the Pearly Gates!"

    "What did you do on Earth?"
    "I was a musician. I helped make sad people happy."
    "You can load in through the kitchen."

    [That one actually makes me sad. ]
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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    My favorite bluegrass band

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