Funny bluegrass lyrics

[Jacob Hagerty]

Bumper Sticker by Keller Williams and the traveling McCourys.

"It's hard to mow my lawn, when my grass is blue.
Sometimes it gets all dirty, like when a hippie don't use shampoo.
Sometimes it dreads into dreadlocks, but the rain can make it new.
It's hard to mow my lawn, when my grass is blue."

[rfloyd]

Heard this one at a jam session:

Two necrophiliacs layin' in a bed
Each one wishin' the other was dead
Honey let me be your Salty Dog

These were in an article from years ago about funny lyrics in country songs:

If you want to keep your beer real cold,
Put it next to my ex-wife's heart

You can't make a heel toe the mark

I gave up "Hello, Honey" and "Good morning, Daddy" for this?

[TonyP]

this one kills me:

Hard Luck In Heaven

(Scott Huffman/Spruce and Maple Music/ASCAP)
Scott- lead vocal, Laurie, Tom- harmony vocals
What if our "pie in the sky" is burnt?

While on this old Earth, Lord, I’ve suffered, I’ve cried
Things don’t work out, Lord, as hard as I've tried
I’ll have up in Glory a crown for my prize
But knowin’ my luck, Lord, it’ll be the wrong size

Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t so
‘Cause down here on Earth Lord, it’s all that I know
When I’m in my mansion, will the roof leak there too?
Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t true

I’ve always been hard luck, it’s always been true
So I’m not expecting any different from you
When I get my wings, Lord, they won’t fit me right
I’ll be flappin’ in circles o’er the City of Light

Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t so
‘Cause down here on Earth Lord, it’s all that I know
When I’m in my mansion, will the roof leak there too?
Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t true

Now, Lord, please forgive me for thinkin’ this way
But hard times just haunt me each night and all day
When the angels start singin’ and they pass out the harps
Knowin’ my luck, Lord, mine’ll be tuned too sharp

Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t so
‘Cause down here on Earth Lord, it’s all that I know
When I’m in my mansion, will the roof leak there too?
Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t true
Hard luck in Heaven, please say it ain’t true

[Steve VandeWater]

Songs with funny lyrics:
Old Devils Dream
Sittin' on Top of the World
Cindy,Cindy (get along home)
My good Old Rambling Days
In the Jailhouse Now

[Steve VandeWater]

Songs with funny lyrics:
Old Devils Dream
Sittin' on Top of the World
Cindy,Cindy (get along home)
My good Old Rambling Days
In the Jailhouse Now
Mountain Dew

[Mandoplumb]

Reno and Smiley. Barefoot Nellie
Standley brothers. Keep Them Cold Icy Fingers Off Of Me
Standley Brothers. Let's Go To at the Fair

[Kowboy]

How about Bile Them Cabbage Down:

Took my girl to the blacksmith shop
To have her mouth made small
She turned around a time or two
And swallowed the shop and all

Met a possum on the road
Blind as he could be
Jumped the fence and whipped my dog
And bristled up at me

Once I had an old gray mule
His name was Simon Slick
He'd roll his eyes and back his ears
And how that mule could kick

How that mule would kick
He kicked with his dying breath
He shoved his hind feet down his throat
And kicked himself to death

[allenhopkins]

Mike Seeger had some additional lyrics to Boil Them Cabbage Down:

As I was walking 'crost the field, singing oh so gaily,
Chilly wind blew through the trees and froze my ukulele.

Took my girl for a horseback ride, she liked it quite a bit;
Horse it bucked and threw her off into a pile of leaves.

Gave my girl a wristwatch, she swallowed it one day,
Now she's taking Epsom salts to pass the time away.

Epsom salts they did not work, the time it did not pass;
Now if you want to know the time, look up my baby's phone number.

And yes, I know that they don't rhyme...

[jaycat]

Heard this one at a jam session:

Two necrophiliacs layin' in a bed
Each one wishin' the other was dead
Honey let me be your Salty Dog

OK, I just did a spit take . . .

[fatt-dad]

"If you can't afford the hoof, don't stand behind the mule." (Some Vassar song)
"The gangster rap and the cowboy hat just make me feel uncouth." (Owl Feather, John Hartford)

I'll think of others. . .

f-d

[Alex Orr]

I never really thought of "Old Devil's dream" as funny...maybe it is if you're younger? In some ways it's one of the more sad bluegrass tunes I know.

Hands down I'll go with "Backin' to Birmingham", a ridiculous and bizarre song that makes me wonder if one, just once, Lester got passed a funny cigarette at a jam and didn't know it until the effects kicked in. That part where the gas station attendant asks which way he's backing is pure comedic gold.