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Thread: Fellow Theory Geeks...

  1. #1
    Chief Moderator/Shepherd Ted Eschliman's Avatar
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    Takes a special kind to get into this kind of humor:

    A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

    After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

    A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

    Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

    Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

    The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

    Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

    The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, with the sopranout in the bathroom, and everything has become altoo much treble, he needs a rest, and closes the bar.
    Ted Eschliman

    Author, Getting Into Jazz Mandolin

  2. #2

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    Ted the only thing that I would say about the situation is that the bar consider hiring a new staff or if that does not work out then they should make every customer put their bill on their tab!

    Just my 2 cents

    Mike

  3. #3
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    I really arpeggiate the humor in your note...
    "First you master your instrument, then you master the music, then you forget about all that ... and just play"
    Charlie "Bird" Parker

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    Moderator JEStanek's Avatar
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    I'm flattened by that one! Great stuff Ted.

    Jamie
    There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. Logan Pearsall Smith, 1865 - 1946

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    Registered User groveland's Avatar
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    I really wasn't in the mode for jokes. Just want to ledger know.

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    Distressed Model John Ritchhart's Avatar
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    That really hertz.
    We few, we happy few.

  7. #7

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    Guys this whole thread is falling flat or its face.

    I suggest that we sharpen up the humor or put it to rest.

  8. #8
    Distressed Model John Ritchhart's Avatar
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    Ok but it's gonna take a concerted effort.
    We few, we happy few.

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    Registered User Bruce Evans's Avatar
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    Ted, thanks for being instrumental in opuning this thread.

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    Cancel my subdominant!
    John McGann, Associate Professor, Berklee College of Music
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    Registered User luckylarue's Avatar
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    Am I a half-step behind? I don't get it.

  12. #12
    Chief Moderator/Shepherd Ted Eschliman's Avatar
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    I forgot to mention, while pleading his case, C could not get a word in edgewise because of bartender G and his frat brothers B, D, and F, who are known for being quite dominant in the staff.
    (Speaking is not his forte...)
    Ted Eschliman

    Author, Getting Into Jazz Mandolin

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    Modulator ;) PhilGE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by
    (Speaking is not his forte...)
    ...so he went home and played his pianoforte pianissimo. Hungry, he ordered a large pizza with string cheese so he could play pizzicato while dining. His pal, Allegro, showed up and told him "Fini!"




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    He had to close the bar?? Serves him right for serving short measures!

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    Registered User Harrmob's Avatar
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    [QUOTE]I forgot to mention, while pleading his case, C could not get a word in edgewise because of bartender G and his frat brothers B, D, and F, who are known for being quite dominant in the staff.

    Sounds to me like those five are running in circles, a circle of fifths.....

  16. #16
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    The first line should read--

    "A C, an E-flat, and a G waltz into a bar. "



    "Dust off those rusty strings just one more time. Gonna make em shine!" -Robert Hunter

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