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Thread: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

  1. #151
    Registered User Mike Buesseler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I love a lot of banjo music, but like banjo jokes, too....like this one:
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  2. #152
    Certified! Bernie Daniel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by pianoman89 View Post
    .....Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?

    ~They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
    Violin players make up so many of these viola jokes. I wonder if it is not a measure of their insecurity and jealousy at knowing how much better the viola actually sounds?
    Bernie
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  4. #153
    Oval holes are cool David Lewis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I play banjo. I think the jokes are funny. Mostly.
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  5. #154

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Interesting that both Dubrovnik, Croatia, and King's Landing, Westeros, have openings in the city walls to throw banjos down on attackers!
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  7. #155
    Out of tune HappyPickin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Q: What do you call a banjo player with health insurance?

    A: 65
    Out of tune and out of time.

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  9. #156
    Registered User Simon DS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    What would it take to stop Climate Change?
    -seven and a half billion banjos.

  10. #157
    but that's just me Bertram Henze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by oldwave maker View Post
    Interesting that both Dubrovnik, Croatia, and King's Landing, Westeros, have openings in the city walls to throw banjos down on attackers!
    There is one hole for an F-style OM, too!
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

  11. #158
    Adrian Minarovic
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by oldwave maker View Post
    Interesting that both Dubrovnik, Croatia, and King's Landing, Westeros, have openings in the city walls to throw banjos down on attackers!
    Now that is weapon of mass destruction! I see banjo-bass on the left side.
    But I believe the defence would do better f they played the banjo against the enemies. Just imagine it the enemies took the banjos an started playing them... Jericho 2.0...
    Adrian

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  15. #160
    Registered User John Flynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Why did the banjo player hang a capo from his rearview mirror?


    So he could park in the handicapped spots!

  16. #161

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by JeffD View Post
    Most people worry about their possessions being stolen. Banjos are so horrible that you instead worry about random people giving you a banjo.
    Its like the accordion player who stopped at a diner, leaving his accordion in the trunk of his car, and after dinner when he came out, yep, he found his car had been broken into and seven more accordions were in there.
    I was hoping the banjo version of that one would be in here somewhere!

  17. #162
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by esslewis View Post
    I was hoping the banjo version of that one would be in here somewhere!
    Eh? But it is. In fact, it's the very next post, in response to this. In fact, I mean, huh?

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    Welll ... I heard this as a banjo joke. And it's in the back seat, not the trunk, so it can be seen and thus incite the desired reaction from other banjo owners. No one would know it was in the trunk - well, if it got real hot in there and it were an accordion and it somehow started wheezing ...

    But have it your way ...
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  19. #163
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    The problem with b***o jokes is they nearly always include the name of the consarned cotton-pickin' contraption. Even though it's in a derogatory sense, this activity keeps the notion of the nasty noisemaker alive in our minds.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  20. #164
    Registered User John Flynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by journeybear View Post
    The problem with b***o jokes is they nearly always include the name of the consarned cotton-pickin' contraption. Even though it's in a derogatory sense, this activity keeps the notion of the nasty noisemaker alive in our minds.
    We need a PC euphemism for them. That seems to be what people do nowadays with sensitive terms. How about "SC's" (Skinheaded Chordophones)?

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  22. #165
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I was thinking about that. Perhaps a term incorporating the drum similarity. The drum you strum, or the strummed drum, or some such. But then the whole lot of drummer jokes might get drawn in. Oof!
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  24. #166
    Registered User tassiespirit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Say no more!
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    Allan Midgley
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  26. #167
    Registered User tassiespirit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Or,
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    Allan Midgley
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  28. #168
    Fingertips of leather Bill McCall's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    That hits the mark
    Not all the clams are at the beach

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  29. #169
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    A man is in court contesting a parking ticket. The judge looks at him and says
    "Do I know you?" "Yes", says the man. "I've been teaching your daughter to play
    the banjo." The judge slams down his gavel and says "Five years in the county jail."

  30. #170

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    A man parked his car downtown and left it unlocked with his banjo in the backseat. When he returned two hours later, someone had left another banjo.

  31. #171
    Registered User Mikey.David's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Long time listener, first time caller.

    What’s a banjo good for? Kindling for the accordian fire!
    Ill let you be in my dream if I can be in yours. I said that. - Robert Zimmerman

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  32. #172
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Whist we’re on about accordians - How do you make an accordianist start playing? Start tuning your mandolin!

  33. #173
    Registered User Doug Edwards's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    getting old too. Since I lost all my lower teeth, maybe it's time to take up the banjo

  34. #174
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Nah. Let us know when ya lose them front teeth. That's the look!
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

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  35. #175
    Administrator Mandolin Cafe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Related, below. Disclaimer: my wife plays one.

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