Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

[HonketyHank]

Man. Hanging around here sure has its pluses and minuses. Now where did I leave my bagpipes?

[johnsoba]

uh . . .I know one I can't make public but the punchline is "pepper spray." If you know the setup and post it here, it's on you.

[billykatzz]

A banjo player, on his way to a gig, stopped at a local Walmart, forgetting that his banjo was in the back seat.

When he returned to his car, to his horror he found his car had been broken into: his rear window was smashed in! In the back seat was a second banjo.

[Sherry Cadenhead]

Do banjo players have to play A7 chords? If not, I might get me one.

[marbelizer]

During the summer of 1992 I rented my house to a gentleman who was simultaneously learning Skruggs style banjo and the Scottish bagpipes. He was one accordion away from the instrument joke trifecta. (I live on 12 acres which helps)

BTW at the end of the summer he could absolutely shred both instruments and I mean musically not with a machete or a chainsaw. He began with a tentative 3 finger roll and come September he was crushing Earls Breakdown, Foggy Mtn. Breakdown etc. That summer taught me the value of serious woodshedding. And earplugs

[allenhopkins]

...He began with a tentative 3 finger roll and come September he was crushing Earl's Breakdown, Foggy Mtn. Breakdown etc...

On banjo or bagpipes?

[MikeEdgerton]

[banjoboy]

What do banjo players use for contraceptives? Their personalities!

[Doug Edwards]

True story. My friend David McClung is a finger style guitarist. We we’re talking about banjo stuff. He said he could never get the hang of the three finger rolls. He followed up with “I have two many fingers.” I replied “You have too many teeth too.”

[dhergert]

A single, lonely young banjo playing friend asked me for suggestions for pick-up lines for banjo players to use.

I suggested skipping the pick-up lines and instead starting a conversation that will show that he has some wisdom, intelligence and a bright future ahead of him...

"Want to buy a slightly used banjo?"

[Charlie Bernstein]

What's the difference between a banjo and two large pizzas?
Two large pizzas can feed a family of four.

Why do people take an instant dislike to banjo players?
It saves time.

[Teak]

True story. My friend David McClung is a finger style guitarist. We we’re talking about banjo stuff. He said he could never get the hang of the three finger rolls. He followed up with “I have two many fingers.” I replied “You have too many teeth too.”

That reminds of me of the riddle: What do you get when you have a room full of banjo players?









A full set of teeth.

[CarlM]

[DHopkins]

Now that's funny!

[AbuFarley]

Yuk yuk yuk

[thebanjoman]

If y’all want a banjo joke a day, go follow @a_banjo_walks_into_a_bar on instagram

[Gary Hudson]

I believe it was Mark Twain who said that the definition of a gentlemen is a man who knows how to play the banjo, but chooses not to...

[DavidKOS]

And one for the instrument these were really meant for:

Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?

~They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.

I heard it as "both are warm intensely personal experiences no one else hears".

One of my fave instrument jokes, thanks

[stevedenver]

I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior










Let me use the restroom,......
Lol

[Jeff Mando]

I heard it as "both are warm intensely personal experiences no one else hears".

One of my fave instrument jokes, thanks

Not a banjo joke, but along similar lines, attributed to Steven Wright......"There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot......."

[catmandu2]

I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior










Let me use the restroom,......
Lol

I hear ya! Shame that banjos are only new once..

Btw, good luck with tryin to git your banjo to git you to stop yer habit of goin in the woods... I just got me a rabid dog to "civilize" me - chased me every time I tried goin in the woods...

[DavidKOS]

I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior

Part of the issue is that everyone assumes it's a 5 string banjo.

I'm a 4 string player from New Orleans - grew up playing jazz, and later Italian and a little Irish music on banjo.

There's a world of difference between the banjo world I grew up in, playing river boats, old-time jazz clubs, jazz funerals, jazz brunches, etc., and the world of the banjo players in the typical jokes.



My typical banjo world - jazz!



One of my rarer moments on a 5 string banjo.

[DavidKOS]

I believe it was Mark Twain who said that the definition of a gentlemen is a man who knows how to play the banjo, but chooses not to...

and another " just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!
- "Enthusiastic Eloquence," San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle, 23 June 1865"

[catmandu2]

Well, if we're going to get serious...

I was totally into plectrum (standard) banjo for a long time, after tenor...but I started on 5-str.

Still, I don't mind joking around a bit.

[jim simpson]

This is stolen from another joke:

There's a fine line between playing the banjo and not being able to play at all.