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Thread: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

  1. #126
    Moderator MikeEdgerton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

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    "Bargain instruments are no bargains if you can't play them". These are the words of J. Garber.

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  3. #127

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    What do banjo players use for contraceptives? Their personalities!

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  5. #128
    Registered User Doug Edwards's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    True story. My friend David McClung is a finger style guitarist. We we’re talking about banjo stuff. He said he could never get the hang of the three finger rolls. He followed up with “I have two many fingers.” I replied “You have too many teeth too.”

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  7. #129
    Lurkist dhergert's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    A single, lonely young banjo playing friend asked me for suggestions for pick-up lines for banjo players to use.

    I suggested skipping the pick-up lines and instead starting a conversation that will show that he has some wisdom, intelligence and a bright future ahead of him...

    "Want to buy a slightly used banjo?"
    -- Don

    "It is a lot more fun to make music than it is to argue about it."

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  9. #130

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    What's the difference between a banjo and two large pizzas?
    Two large pizzas can feed a family of four.

    Why do people take an instant dislike to banjo players?
    It saves time.

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    Teak 

  11. #131

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Edwards View Post
    True story. My friend David McClung is a finger style guitarist. We we’re talking about banjo stuff. He said he could never get the hang of the three finger rolls. He followed up with “I have two many fingers.” I replied “You have too many teeth too.”
    That reminds of me of the riddle: What do you get when you have a room full of banjo players?









    A full set of teeth.
    "Those who know don't have the words to tell, and the ones with the words don't know so well." - Bruce Cockburn

  12. #132

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

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  14. #133
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by CarlM View Post
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    Now that's funny!
    David Hopkins

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  15. #134

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Yuk yuk yuk

  16. #135

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    If y’all want a banjo joke a day, go follow @a_banjo_walks_into_a_bar on instagram

  17. #136
    Registered User Gary Hudson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I believe it was Mark Twain who said that the definition of a gentlemen is a man who knows how to play the banjo, but chooses not to...

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  19. #137
    Registered User DavidKOS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by pianoman89 View Post
    And one for the instrument these were really meant for:

    Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?

    ~They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
    I heard it as "both are warm intensely personal experiences no one else hears".

    One of my fave instrument jokes, thanks

  20. #138

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

    I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior










    Let me use the restroom,......
    Lol

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  22. #139

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidKOS View Post
    I heard it as "both are warm intensely personal experiences no one else hears".

    One of my fave instrument jokes, thanks
    Not a banjo joke, but along similar lines, attributed to Steven Wright......"There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot......."

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  24. #140

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by stevedenver View Post
    I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

    I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior










    Let me use the restroom,......
    Lol
    I hear ya! Shame that banjos are only new once..

    Btw, good luck with tryin to git your banjo to git you to stop yer habit of goin in the woods... I just got me a rabid dog to "civilize" me - chased me every time I tried goin in the woods...

  25. #141
    Registered User DavidKOS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by stevedenver View Post
    I am deeply hurt by the overwhelming and deep hatred yall ‘spress towards us who play , or are trying to play this maligned, misunderstood, and nuanced instrument.

    I shall start a “banjos too” movement.....try to stop this type of behavior
    Part of the issue is that everyone assumes it's a 5 string banjo.

    I'm a 4 string player from New Orleans - grew up playing jazz, and later Italian and a little Irish music on banjo.

    There's a world of difference between the banjo world I grew up in, playing river boats, old-time jazz clubs, jazz funerals, jazz brunches, etc., and the world of the banjo players in the typical jokes.



    My typical banjo world - jazz!



    One of my rarer moments on a 5 string banjo.

  26. #142
    Registered User DavidKOS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary Hudson View Post
    I believe it was Mark Twain who said that the definition of a gentlemen is a man who knows how to play the banjo, but chooses not to...
    and another " just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!
    - "Enthusiastic Eloquence," San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle, 23 June 1865"

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  28. #143

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Well, if we're going to get serious...

    I was totally into plectrum (standard) banjo for a long time, after tenor...but I started on 5-str.

    Still, I don't mind joking around a bit.

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  30. #144
    Registered User jim simpson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    This is stolen from another joke:

    There's a fine line between playing the banjo and not being able to play at all.
    Cabin Fever String Band, Bill Gorby and the Musical Mercenaries

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  32. #145
    Registered User Mike Buesseler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I love a lot of banjo music, but like banjo jokes, too....like this one:
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  33. #146
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by pianoman89 View Post
    .....Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?

    ~They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
    Violin players make up so many of these viola jokes. I wonder if it is not a measure of their insecurity and jealousy at knowing how much better the viola actually sounds?
    Bernie
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  35. #147
    Oval holes are cool David Lewis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I play banjo. I think the jokes are funny. Mostly.
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  36. #148

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Interesting that both Dubrovnik, Croatia, and King's Landing, Westeros, have openings in the city walls to throw banjos down on attackers!
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  38. #149
    Out of tune HappyPickin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Q: What do you call a banjo player with health insurance?

    A: 65
    Out of tune and out of time.

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  40. #150

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    What would it take to stop Climate Change?
    -seven and a half billion banjos.

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