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Thread: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

  1. #26
    Registered User Randi Gormley's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Well, it helps if you really don't care, but I wouldn't recommend it!

    What helps me is to close my eyes and simply try to hear the music, or look at some random spot in the ether avoiding eye contact ... I find I'm worse when there are people I know in the audience as opposed to people I've never seen before and despite playing in public for a good decade or so, I still don't like to play solo. I don't mind a duet and a trio is perfect, but I don't do solo well. it's nice to know that about yourself! I learned back in college that teachers are just people who happened to know more than I do, they're not monsters or ogres or the Wrath of God or whatever. I've had a couple students over the years (music and editing) and I always feel bad when they're obviously terrified of me since I'm a pretty non-judgmental sort of educator and still learning myself. So don't put a teacher on a pedestal -- they really are just people.

    Also, eat a banana before you go play for an audience (even your teacher). It sometimes helps a lot.
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  3. #27
    Registered User Timbofood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    It’s really simple,
    Play more, worry less!
    It will get easier as time goes on, trust me.
    I used to sweat the first tune at any gig and still do sometimes but, it gets to be second nature. Really, don’t worry relax and just do it!
    Timothy F. Lewis
    "If brains was lard, that boy couldn't grease a very big skillet" J.D. Clampett

  4. #28

    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Hi Daniel. Read with interest your 'special Consensus moment'. In the 1970s I was playing in a duo in Alnwick Northumberland and playing three gigs a week and full of confidence. Then Ray Jackson from Lindisfarne walked into the pub and of course suggested my mate and I backed him for two songs. He had a harp in his pocket. The first song was a simple three or four chord thing but I froze as well, just strumming guitar. My head was up my backside I think. I managed the second one Ok but I'll never forget the feeling of being totally stupid in not getting these three or four chords in the right order. Thankfully my mate was on to it and it went fine. After 40 years or more I'd welcome it now but that stuck with me. Completely froze.

    I still say it's lack of preparation or out of your depth due to lack of knowledge that causes nerves in anything in life.

    Cheers

    Jimmy Powells
    Mandolin/Guitar
    Northumberland.

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  6. #29

    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    I like to practice in my backyard. Recently I learned my next door neighbors were listening, and actually enjoying it, so now I've become mindful of practicing one fiddle tune for half an hour. It's like every practice is a performance, and I mix it up accordingly.

    So what I've lost in practice regimin, I've gained in performance experience.

    You should definitely care about playing your best, but what people think, not so much. You really don't know what people think anyway, but be assured, they aren't as harsh as you are on yourself.
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  7. #30

    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Yes, even thought I get nervous I usually oblige when a friend sees my mando and say oh, play me something. Funny Br1ck, the same thing happened to me recently when a neighbor mentioned my playing outside in the evenings.
    Northfield F5M #268, AT02 #7

  8. #31
    but that's just me Bertram Henze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    How can I explain my first instru-mental freeze?
    Imagine Charly Brown during his violin lesson in a classroom, when he sees the little red-haired girl out in the schoolyard looking in through the window with her girlfriends, pointing and giggling? That was me, totally unable to play what I had practised.

    The only conclusion I can draw from this is the recommendation to always have a paper bag ready to cover your head with.
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

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  10. #32
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoogus View Post
    Anybody else relate to this? If so, have you found anything that helps?
    A shot of whiskey seems to do the trick for me...
    3 shots seems to make it worse. YMMV.

  11. #33
    Mandol'Aisne Daniel Nestlerode's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Randi Gormley View Post
    Well, it helps if you really don't care, but I wouldn't recommend it!
    Actually, that's excellent advice. The thing is, you can not care if people don't like what you're doing, but care about the gig. What I mean is, don't take yourself too seriously but DO take the music seriously.

    We are our own harshest critics. If you can remember that you'll be harder on yourself than any one else, then you don't need to worry about what they think. At that point you can just get on with it.

    In a related topic: Red Light Fever. I had some at my last session (in a studio with an engineer I was paying £250 for the day). I was standing in the control room with a 5 string emando strapped on playing some particular riffs over specific portions of a song. I was getting tied up trying not to mess up. So I closed my eyes and imagined standing in front of an audience. RLF sorted.

    I guess the takeaway from all this is to be prepared then relax into it and just do what you know how to do. Was it Miles Davis who said "Practice, practice, practice. Then forget all that and just play"?

    Daniel

  12. #34
    Registered User Nancyf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Back in the 90s I got lots of invaluable support on my nervous self-doubt - from either this list or the Comando listserv. I just wrote about my musical journey of finding ways to circumvent or play over those voices in my head. You might find it useful. https://riversandroadspdx.wordpress....-musical-life/

  13. #35

    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Can't have a performance anxiety thread without mentioning Kenny Werner's, Effortless Mastery.
    Contrary to Professor Harold Hill's, Think Method, Kenny's lectures are tuned to graduate students that can't see the forest for the trees. Now, Farmerjones' theorem, stolen or otherwise, states we don't wait to play with others until we're good. We get good by playing with others. Consequently, it's a much smaller step from jamming to playing for muggles, if you've been well versed in jamming.

  14. #36
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Just last night found myself sweating (in a comfortable temperature room) after a simple solo with bandmates I've played with for almost 5 years. I know for me it come from withdrawing into myself- head down, looking at my fingers, and very into my own head. A helpful piece of solution for me has been to turn my attention back out. Looking at and listening attentively to others turns that attention out and helps me. I hope that helps you.

  15. #37

    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Thank you all so much. Extremely helpful advice on here by so many folks. Eventually I'll stop being amazed by how supportive people on this forum are! Big Love.

  16. #38
    but that's just me Bertram Henze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoogus View Post
    Eventually I'll stop being amazed by how supportive people on this forum are! Big Love.
    No, you won't. You ain't seen nothing yet
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

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  18. #39
    Registered User Timbofood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Bertram just said a mouthful!
    Hoogus, you will find enough support on this forum to support a battleship!
    Get comfortable with a few tunes and remember where you start and where you are supposed to end. The rest will simply fall into place. I’ve said this a million times:
    “It’s called PLAYING music” so, have fun!
    Timothy F. Lewis
    "If brains was lard, that boy couldn't grease a very big skillet" J.D. Clampett

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  20. #40
    Registered User Ranger Tommy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    I can totally relate to your anxieties around this. In fact, unless I knew a tune down cold, I wouldn't take the chance of doing a break when it cam around to me. I can still choke up, even on tunes I know. But...a friend of mine, with whom I've jammed on a number of occasions, told me after a jam one night: "When it comes your turn for a break, always take it." I thought, "Why would I want to inflict myself on the rest of the circle by a botched break?" But his advice to me was that if I commit to always going for it, then the anxiety of whether or not I should take a chance was no longer part of the equation. It's actually helped a lot. I still choke on occasion, and I often do an underwhelming break, but I'm growing in confidence, ability, and versatility.

    One other thing I'd add: because choking in a jam is a result of your amygdala hijacking your prefrontal cortex (essentially, going into "fight, fight or freeze" mode), it affects all your extremities. Your body perceives that you are under actual, existential threat, which is why your arms, hands, and fingers stop functioning as well as they did when you were practicing in your own living room. In reality, though, no one is going to kill you if you blow it. In fact, everyone (except the odd jerk--and yeah...there are the odd jerks out there) is hoping you'll do well!

  21. #41
    Registered User mtucker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mando "performance anxiety" when playing with others?

    Performance anxiety, anxiety over public speaking etc., is a real thing and some folks never get over their fear, no matter what, according to an article I read several months ago. People from all walks of life weighed in, even attorney's who have to stand up in court and speak on behalf of their clients have the problem.

    Many in this article had tried CBD. Some with success. I don't know anything about CBD including the law in my state let alone others, but several had experienced positive effects with usage and (I believe) at least some initial oversight from a physician. Interesting to hear others thoughts about this...

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