Re: Fret wear...
It's a good question, but I think it's impossible to have some kind of average baseline for comparison. We all play differently, with greater or lesser pressure on the frets, and different hours of playing time every year.
The genre of music matters too. I practice or play with others almost every day, but just about *all* my fret wear is on the lower frets. The upper frets are pristine. That's because I play Irish/Scottish trad, where "fiddle tunes" are fingered in first position, except for a few upper-fret excursions for something like an O'Carolan tune, or a Venezuelan waltz or other exotica. A Bluegrass or Jazz player would cover more of the fretboard, and might have less wear in the lower frets.
For what it's worth, and with all the disclaimers above -- I had my mandolin frets dressed by a very good luthier after playing for about 5 years. I'm almost 4 years later now, and could use another fret dressing very soon (and hoping there's enough metal on the lower frets that I don't need a complete fret replacement).
P.S. don't get too hung up on whether you can see or feel the dings on the frets. It's when you start getting buzzing or you can't lower the action enough that you have to worry about it. Wait until you can hear a problem, not just see fret wear. Also make sure that it isn't a neck relief issue. You can play for a long time on frets that have obvious fret wear, if everything else is well-adjusted.
Lebeda F-5 mandolin, redwood top
Weber Yellowstone F-5 octave mandolin
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