It's well known that there are different styles of learning. Sometimes different terms are used, but I've heard it as Visual, Aural, Verbal/Written and Physical. There are some great visual and written explanations here, but if those don't work for you, you are not alone. I've come to realize I learn mandolin in an aural/physical style. What the heck does that mean?
I learned tremolo by taking a recording that I really like that absolutely depends on tremolo to sound good and really absorbing that sound in my mind. I can't remember which track I used, but I'm sure it was something by Curtis Buckhannon. But there are plenty to choose from.
Then I learned the tune. When I got to the tremolo part, I just kept trying to make that sound. My body figured out what I wanted and did it. Yes, it took a little time, but it seemed to go quicker and easier for me than the more common pedagogical methods. Once I learned it on that one tune, then I could do it on any of them. OBTW, I learned crosspicking this way also.
One visualization technique that did help me, which I got from a workshop, is to pretend that a course of strings is two pencil lines on a thin piece of paper. The pick is an eraser. You want to erase a small break in the lines quickly, but without damaging the paper. You can try that motion with a piece of paper and an eraser and then transfer it to the mandolin. I wind up with a "mostly wrist" tremolo and I am pretty happy with it.
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