"What's your favorite pickup to put on a banjo?"
"F-150"
Festival season's comin' up - anybody got any new ones?
"What's your favorite pickup to put on a banjo?"
"F-150"
Festival season's comin' up - anybody got any new ones?
Riley
Kentucky KM-250
Guitars:
RainSong SMH
Blueridge BR-142
The Loar LH-250
Recording King RPS-9
A Strat and a Tele
I like the one that was going around,,,what did the mandolin player do ,standing by the river minding their own business ,when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?
My two favs are
How is a blind javelin thrower and a banjo player alike?
Nether has to be very good to get your attention.
Cop pulls over this car for speeding and he starts to walk up he see the I heart banjo sticker in the rear window. The driver rolls down the window and the cops says " do you have any ID?" The banjo player stares at him and says "bout what?"
My favorite: "How do you know a banjo pickers at your front door?"
"He knocks too loud and comes in at the wrong time."
another old joke, but still one of my favorites:
What do you say to a banjo player in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant will now rise.
Joseph Baker
I hope the river wasn't frozen.
What do drummers and banjo pickers have in common?
They like to hang around with musicians.
David Hopkins
2001 Gibson F-5L mandolin
Breedlove Legacy FF mandolin; Breedlove Quartz FF mandolin
Gibson F-4 mandolin (1916); Blevins f-style Octave mandolin, 2018
McCormick Oval Sound Hole "Reinhardt" Mandolin
McCormick Solid Body F-Style Electric Mandolin; Slingerland Songster Guitar (c. 1939)
The older I get, the less tolerant I am of political correctness, incompetence and stupidity.
The Bass player detuned one of my banjo strings and he won't tell me which one...
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a banjo.
How can you tell if the stage is level?
If the banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth.
What do you see in the middle of the road before you see a dead skunk that you don't see before a crushed banjo?
Skid marks
"Doctor, doctor will I be able to play the banjo after the operation?"
"Lord, I hope not"
"The paths of experimentation twist and turn through mountains of miscalculations, and often lose themselves in error and darkness!"
--Leslie Daniel, "The Brain That Wouldn't Die."
Some tunes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa1...SV2qtug/videos
Well,i tried to tie it in with that thread about the "banjo throwing competition" in the Hudson river,,,but I guess a lot of people didn't read that,,or get it or whatever.
Definition of perfect pitch: When the banjo doesn't hit the side of the Demster Dumpster
Heck, I think he wants us to guess the set-up, too. I'm stumped. It's as if a banjo player were trying to write a joke. Anyway ...
If you throw a banjo, an accordion, a set of bagpipes, and a musical saw off the top of a building, which will hit the ground first?
Who cares, as long as they all do.
If you throw a banjo, an accordion, a set of bagpipes, and a musical saw off the top of a building, which will hit the ground last?
The banjo - it'll have to stop in the middle and retune.
Hey now! That's supposed to be a mandolin joke! Banjos take all our leads; don't let them take our jokes, too!
But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller
Furthering Mandolin Consciousness
Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!
Q: What's worse than a banjo?
A: Two banjos.
Q: Why is a 5-string banjo better than a banjo-mandolin?
A: It burns longer.
Q: What do you call 1000 banjo pickers at the bottom of the sea?
A: A good start.
Q: How does a banjo picker count armadillos?
A: "One diller, and two dillers, and another diller, and another..."
Q: How many banjo pickers does it take to eat an armadillo?
A: Three. Two are needed to hold traffic.
Q: What's the difference between hearing a banjo solo and getting a root canal?
A: Good question.
Mandos: Coleman & Soviet ovals; Kay & Rogue A5's; Harmonia F2 & mandola
Ukuleles: 3 okay tenors; 3 cheap sopranos; Harmonia concert & baritone
Banjos: Gretsch banjolin; Varsity banjolele; Orlando 5-string; fretless & fretted Cümbüs o'uds
Acoustic guitars: Martin Backpacker; Ibanez Performance; Art et Lutherie; Academy dobro; Ovation 12-string
Others: Maffick & First Act dulcimers; Mexican cuatro-menor; Puerto Rican cuatro; Martin tiple; electrics
Wanted: charango; balalaika; bowlback mando
These are adapted from jokes about a stringed instrument that would be the orchestras counterpart to the banjo...
Whats the difference between a coffin and a banjo?
~the dead person is on the inside.
If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good banjo player, a bad banjo player or an oasis?
~ The bad banjo player. The other two are only figments of your imagination
What do you call a bunch of banjo players in a hot tub?
~Vegetable soup.
And one for the instrument these were really meant for:
Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?
~They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
This reminds me, we're nearly out of Laffy Taffy.
From TD's post - "....when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?".I reckon that the banjo player was about to take a very long,very deep dip in the river. As an aside to that point,when visiting Mammoth Caves National Park back in '92,& having stayed at the Hotel overnight,the following morning i took a walk down the path to Green River. I slipped on the greasy mud & slid down the bank & was only stopped from falling in by grabbing hold of a small tree growing out of the bank - i didn't have my banjo with me !. Please post any comments below,
Ivan
Weber F-5 'Fern'.
Lebeda F-5 "Special".
Stelling Bellflower BANJO
Tokai - 'Tele-alike'.
Ellis DeLuxe "A" style.
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