Performance anxiety

  1. katygrasslady
    katygrasslady
    When no one is listening, I play my best. The minute I become aware of someone listening, I start messing up. Even the video camera creates tension.

    I am an accomplished public speaker. I am not nervous at all, and in fact experience flow and lose all track of time, and can lecture for 8 hours straight. But I am confident in my expertise in my subject and ability as a teacher.

    I have no such expertise as a student of music. I've only had the opportunity to play with accomplished musicians a couple of times and performed miserably. Been wondering why. Perhaps I am too needy; requiring respect and approval in order to perform well. I'm working on that by posting videos when I am still struggling to play a song properly. Am I dooming myself from ever feeling Flow when playing with others?

    What have you done to overcome performance anxiety? What is the root cause?
    Katy
  2. catmandu2
    catmandu2
    I used to have quite a lot of PA and struggled much when I was studying classical guitar (over some 20-30 years!). I was helped immensely through exposure to folk music--having come into it only after a long life with the classical model and neuroticism ; ) ... When I started playing the banjo, suddenly I felt like a huge burden was lifted--I was quite liberated--even began singing completely at ease too; something I was missing in the music connected at this point, and it all changed--as far as performing. These days I carry a banjo and accordion and maybe a fiddle and enjoy playing anytime someone asks for a tune. A couple of factors help me here: I often was hyper-vigilant of my listener receiving--rather than staying focused on what I was playing (anxiety over being judged and feeling rejected is common), and the banjo, accordion and fiddle are loud and allow me to project easily--even when I'm not feeling particularly musical or relaxed. In a word, playing folk music is so much easier--and permits me to relax easily--than the precision of playing classical music...sometimes, I really bombed the Bach, and that's a terrible feeling. And of course I'm playing dance music--so easy for an audience to connect and become overtly engaged. Although I loved playing Bach, I was often not a good performer of the music
  3. katygrasslady
    katygrasslady
    oh. maybe that's my problem. I used to play mostly folk music, and now I'm trying to play Back.
  4. Dr H
    Dr H
    As a child of musicians I was performing in front of people from an early age, so I never had all that much performance anxiety in terms of "stage fright".

    I did go through a period of it in high school, playing in rock bands and smaller ensembles where I was more likely to be singled-out, than as one of 30 clarinet players in the band. At that time I used to address the initial anxiety by downing a couple belts of whisky before going on stage. Not the best solution, but once I started playing, the nerves would go away, so I didn't need to drink my way through entire gigs.

    After a while I got pretty adept at ignoring the audience, and just imagining I was playing either for myself (when solo) or just with the other band members. I remember looking at some of John Fahey's performances as a model for this sort of attitude.

    Annoyingly, PA still crops up from time to time when I go to record, particularly if I'm working the recorders myself. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "I'm being recorded; I've got to do this RIGHT", which of course has the opposite effect many times.

    I've found that digital recording (as opposed to tape) has pretty much solved this problem for me, because there doesn't have to be a lot of starting and stopping of tape. I can get the recorder going, and just let it run -- for hours, if necessary. Then I just play, and if I screw up, I play some more, and eventually it's like I'm just playing for myself, and it comes out right, and when it's all over I can go back and delete all the false starts. After doing this for a while now, I find that my recording PA has mostly gone away.

    I suppose the common factor through all this is "experience". The more you do it, the easier it gets.
    Not exactly a profound observation, but hey, if it works, it works.
  5. Pasha Alden
    Pasha Alden
    Initially when I started to play the mandolin I was fearful of what my listener received. Now, I make a point of playing whenever someone asks me. Perhaps those of us who lecture and speak publically are used to expertise being conveyed to audiences, but know the kind of criticism we could receive and can defend ourselves.

    With music it is a little different, especially when we feel ourselves in somewhat uncharted waters?

    I am also experiencing anxiety, but force myself to remember that I am a beginner; that when a wrong chord is played the people listening do not concentrate to hear you play the wrong chord, in fact, they often do not know the music.
    So I try and just play. Somehow it comes over OK and people are glad to hear me play.

    I experience a little more anxiety when playing melody, but by not being too judgemental on myself it seems to come right and there are less errors. Being judgemental can of course cause those errors as one tries too hard to listen to yourself.

    Am still very bad about my singing. the point above is illustrated when I sing. so afraid what I sound like to people that I do not project well. the criticism often is: "Accompaniment too loud; you have a beautiful voice, let's hear more of it."

    So there it goes; I remember that people do not always know the music; that they themselves could stand up here and make mistakes; As for the video or mp3 recorder, well, I chalk that up to experience. Save some of the faulty recordings to listen to myself as painful as it is, and learn from it.

    Happy playing
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