• Introducing ASsestra - Relief from Chronic Stringed Instrument Purchasing

    SCHENECTADY, NY — Havidol Pharmaceuticals, Inc. has announced FDA approval of ASsestra (predgestaglitazone) for the treatment of chronic stringed instrument purchasing, including MAS, GAS and BAS (mandolin, guitar, banjo acquisition syndromes).

    Working in part to ground your senses, decrease stress hormones, and activating the part of your brain in charge of saying no to impulsive purchases is all a part of the success of ASsestra's winning track record.

    Early adopters Brad and Jen Newton of Athens, Ohio (pictured above, real people, not actors, who appear in Havidol's national ad campaign) shared with us their experience with ASsestra (pronounced "uh-ses-truh"): "Our lives were out of control with new mandolins, guitars and banjos seemingly acquired on a weekly basis year-round," said Jen. "The illness was complicated by the fact we're both musicians, so it was a real double whammy. Our basement was overrun with instruments. We couldn't even access our washing machine and dryer there were so many so we were even purchasing new clothes when the old ones became too dirty to wear. Quite frankly, with mounting debt and the strain it put on our relationship, we can safely say ASsestra saved our home and marriage."

    ASsestra Testimonials

    • renewed sense of calm
    • increased ability to spend wisely
    • better quality consumer decisions
    • improved social attention-getting skills
    • return to former self-esteem levels
    • supplementary stamina levels
    • augmented vision
    • a surge in well-being

    Side Effects

    ASsestra is available only by prescription. Call your doctor right away if you experience fever, muscle cramps or spasms, muscle pain or stiffness, unusual tiredness or weakness or the inability to successfully login to websites. These could be symptoms of a serious muscle problem called rhabdomyolysis, which can cause kidney problems.

    Do not take other medications while on ASsestra unless they have been discussed with your doctor. This includes prescription or nonprescription (over-the-counter [OTC]) medicines and herbal or vitamin supplements.

    Stop taking ASsestra if you experience dizziness, upper right stomach pain, vomiting, chronic flatulence lasting more than 12 hours, yellow eyes or skin, chest tightness, cough, difficulty with swallowing, dizziness, fast heartbeat, fever, hives, itching, skin rash, muscle cramps, pain, stiffness, swelling, or weakness, puffiness or swelling of the eyelids or around the eyes, face, lips, or tongue, unusual tiredness or weakness, blistering, peeling, or loosening of the skin, chills, dark-colored urine, diarrhea, joint pain, large, hive-like swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, red skin lesions, irritated eyes, sore throat, sores, ulcers, or white spots in the mouth.

    Additional Information

    Comments 19 Comments
    1. Matt's Avatar
      Matt -
      Approval for this drug has arrived too late for me.
    1. Cheryl Watson's Avatar
      Cheryl Watson -
      Too many side-effects for me; I'd rather do therapy
    1. BillWilliams's Avatar
      BillWilliams -
      So good to know relief is finally available.
    1. James Todd's Avatar
      James Todd -
      Excellent! HAhahahah! I always look forward to April 1!
    1. lukmanohnz's Avatar
      lukmanohnz -
      Is it a pill or injection?
    1. Mike Black's Avatar
      Mike Black -
      My wife asks "how much is it? We need it".
    1. Cecily_Mandoliner's Avatar
      Cecily_Mandoliner -
      Thank you for the new drug to help with my MAS! But, those side effects... Happy April Fool's Day!!
    1. Marcus CA's Avatar
      Marcus CA -
      My doctor prescribed too large of a dose for me, and I ended up selling off everything but my banjo. Still working to find the balance.
    1. MikeEdgerton's Avatar
      MikeEdgerton -
      The question is what kills you first, the disease or the side effects from the drug?
    1. Dave Hicks's Avatar
      Dave Hicks -
      If meds don't do the trick there's now a scent to apply before you head out to the music store!

    1. BBarton's Avatar
      BBarton -
      Does ASsestra come in chewable gummy form?
    1. Don Grieser's Avatar
      Don Grieser -
      Hey, I have ALL those side effects. Someone must be putting that in my coffee.
    1. David Rambo's Avatar
      David Rambo -
      Where was this when I so desperately needed it? It's too late for me now!
    1. jnikora's Avatar
      jnikora -
      I'd like to try it but there are a few more instruments I really have to have before I jump off that cliff. Besides, I don't have MAS. Did you hear me? I don't have MAS... I DO NOT HAVE MAS!
    1. mr ken's Avatar
      mr ken -
      Can you get a 90 day supply?
    1. Jim Imhoff's Avatar
      Jim Imhoff -
      Every time my Hispanic neighbor hears me play the mandolin he yells "NO MAS! NO MAS!" I guess he's recommending ASsestra?
    1. BrianWilliam's Avatar
      BrianWilliam -
      Is it safe to eat by the handful?
    1. gh_mando's Avatar
      gh_mando -
      I'm 68 and had all three issues for years. Seems like I should be "protected" by now.
    1. CarlM's Avatar
      CarlM -
      Quote Originally Posted by MikeEdgerton View Post
      The question is what kills you first, the disease or the side effects from the drug?
      Or your spouse after the next purchase.