a C, an Eb, and a G walk into a bar...

[Noodlehoss]

...The bartender says - 'sorry, we don't serve minors in here.'

So the Eb leaves and the C and the G have a fifth between them! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Pete Martin]

Here we go...

What sound does a piano make when it lands at the bottom of a mine shaft??


A FLAT MINOR!! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

[acousticphd]

My respect for you guys has been diminished.

[Ted Eschliman]

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Usually the piano player does it with her left hand...

[AlanN]

Noodlehoss

Best one I've heard in a while

[b.pat]

Ok,so
How can you tell when the stage is level ??

When the B@njo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth at the same time. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Oh man I wish I hadn't done that !
B.Pat

[John Rosett]

alright now-
the banjo joke thread is elsewhere. now, where was i?
"you can C sharp, and you can B flat, but you just can't B sharp. C?

[mandobob]

My wife walked in and said there was a banjo player on the porch of our house.
I told her not to worry, he just never knows when to come in.

[steve in tampa]

What's the difference between a pizza and a bluegrass musician?



A pizza can feed a family of four!

[John Craton]

Three souls appear before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asks the first one, "What did you accomplish in life?"

The first man says, "Well, when I was 30 I struck oil and became rich. But I wasn't selfish with my money, as I left it all to my family so they'd be taken care of after I died. They should be comfortable for a very long time."

St. Peter says, "That's very commendable. Welcome to Heaven. Who's next?"

The second guy steps up and says, "I made a fortune on Wall Street, but I didn't just keep it for myself. I donated millions to orphan's homes, Habitat for Humanity, and many other charitable organizations."

"Wonderful!" says St. Peter. "Come on in. Who's next?"

The third guy walks up timidly with his hat in his hand and, with a somber expression, says, "Well, to be honest I never made more than $10,000 in my entire life."

"Good Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"

= = = =

Too true, too true....

[bratsche]

A blonde musician is running late on the way to a gig, so she's going quite a bit faster than the speed limit. Sure enough, a police car pops out from a side street, flashes the blue lights, and stops her.

A blonde cop gets out, comes to the window, and says, "May I see your license, ma'am?"

The blonde musician goes through her purse, and, after a long time searching in frustration, has almost its entire contents strewn out on the seat beside her. Finally, she turns to the cop and asks, "I'm sorry - what, exactly, does one look like?"

"It's a little rectangular flat thing with your picture on it," explains the blonde cop.

"Ahhh!" exclaims the woman, and unzips a small compartment on the side of the purse, from which she triumphantly pulls a small, rectangular mirror. She hands it to the cop.

The blonde cop examines it, and says, "Oh, I'm so very sorry to trouble you - I didn't realize you were a police officer! You may go!"

[steve in tampa]

How many ban*o players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4. One to screw in the bulb, and the other 3 to talk about how much better Bela Fleck could have done it......