View Full Version : Mando-inspired Haiku

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mad dawg
Mar-11-2003, 1:13am
Somone in another thread lamented the loss of the current Haiku discussion, but if I recall correctly, the mando-themed Haiku is a tradition at mandolincafe that predates the internet cafe board. #In light of this, I would like to start this thread anew with my own humble submission. #(Excuse me for stretching line two a bit, in order to get seven syllables. http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif)

Bad day at office
Hello my eight string-ed friend
Make me smile again

Mar-11-2003, 4:01am
Plinkity plunk plink
Chippity chirpity chop
Prompts perception pop

Mar-11-2003, 9:45am
Okay, I'll bite . . . .

Internet Cafe
The source of many problems
It's now history

Mar-11-2003, 10:12am
There was a set of musician haiku that was making the email rounds a few months ago, which I just found again here. (http://lists.washburn.edu/pipermail/doublereed-l/2002-December/000181.html) #Some of the jewels of the collection are:

Money's everything
Playing any gig that comes
Whores, we are all whores

The jam session starts
Somebody calls "Giant Steps"
Cold fear grips my brain

That plate of hors d'oeuvres
Cost more than we're getting paid
Think we underbid?

(And my favorite of the lot:)

My drummer helped me
Count the syllables

Mar-11-2003, 2:49pm
Mandolins, haiku
They seem to go together
Both harmonious.

Teardrop-shaped flattop
Elegant simplicity
Poetry in wood

Ah! The fragrant spruce
Hope nobody sees me sniff
My mando's soundhole......

I love this thread!

mad dawg
Mar-11-2003, 2:58pm
Bunnylady -- that last one left me LOL!

Joe F
Mar-11-2003, 3:21pm
South of equator,
do the scrolls on mandolins
go counter-clockwise?

Wary family cat
sniffs the mando cautiously.
"Are those strings of gut?"

Mar-11-2003, 5:03pm
Here we go again...
Wasn't all the haiku lost
When the Cafe closed??

Mar-11-2003, 5:05pm
You will not believe...
In my younger days I played
In the "Haiku" Band!

mad dawg
Mar-11-2003, 5:59pm
It's incredible
The number of bands in which
Mandodude has played

Bob Sayers
Mar-11-2003, 6:00pm
I probably have the syllables wrong, but here goes:

Tiny spiderwebs
Dance across the top plate
Damn, my mando's cold!

A resounding crack
Disturbs my deep slumber
Shall I open the case?

Left in a taxi
My mando sallies forth
On its big adventure


Mar-11-2003, 6:07pm
TOUCHE', mad dawg, friend...
The first liar doesn't stand
A chance around here!


Mar-11-2003, 7:13pm
Cheap plywood import...
Vintage Florentine Lloyd Loar...
Who Cares? Just play it.

McCoury, Monroe
Grisman, Wakefield, Compton too.
These are my Muses.

Mar-11-2003, 9:19pm
I'm so new at this,
Damn! There went my E-string...
Guess that's why there's two!

Scott Tichenor
Mar-11-2003, 11:05pm
Bad Board Sys Admin!
Removed Internet Cafe
What!? Talk mandolins!?

Bill James
Mar-11-2003, 11:47pm
No more S U V
No more poo poo French party
Tch Tch Tichenor!

Mar-12-2003, 12:10am
Can't resist this one...the tune is on the cd player right now, and sure enough, the voice in my head stopped humming along long enough to chime in..."Did you hear that? Seventeen Syllables! Cool!"

Sweetheart, I beg you
to come home tonight...I'm so
Blue and all alone

Mar-12-2003, 9:13am
Bad Board Sys Admin!
Removed Internet Cafe
What!? Talk mandolins!?
Scott, you are MY MAN!!
You remember my old band,
"Bad Board Sys Admin!!"


Mar-12-2003, 9:44am
The sage know the way
Slender threads across the void
Make 'em vi-ba-rate

Ted Eschliman
Mar-12-2003, 1:13pm
'Dude's played many bands!
Strange names, glibly apropos.
Laughs now. (But not then...)

Mar-12-2003, 1:48pm
SUV drivers?
Weapons of mass destruction?
Let's talk mandolins!

Ted Eschliman
Mar-12-2003, 1:52pm
Texan poetry:
Limericks and some short verse.
Haiku? I think not...

Mar-12-2003, 1:56pm
"Scroll worship" sounds like
Another of Mandodude's
Former stringband gigs!

John Ritchhart
Mar-12-2003, 2:03pm
Mando! Mandolin!
Mando, mandolin, Mando?
Mandolin, Mando.

Mar-12-2003, 2:29pm
Mandolin haiku...
This is hard, I think. Oh, wait!
I'm out of syllab

Mar-12-2003, 2:45pm
'Bout my former bands...
(he says with a wink...)

Ted Eschliman
Mar-12-2003, 3:03pm
"Scroll ENVY!..." Oh!... Thought:
New Gibson Signature name,
How 'bout "######."

Great for Guy 'Boomers.
Now you're able. Play all night!
Note: best solid wood(s).

Mar-12-2003, 3:41pm
Neat idea, Ted...
"Personalized" instruments!
Octave mando's mine!


Joe F
Mar-12-2003, 5:59pm
A lifelong southpaw.
Right or left hand mandolin?
Stink at either one.

"Gibson makes the best!"
"Gibson makes a piece of junk!"
Debate rages on.

Mar-12-2003, 7:08pm
uses only one hand to
play his instrument.

How long did it take
our intrepid SysAdmin
to ban his account?


Mar-12-2003, 7:34pm
Bad Board Sys Admin!
Removed Internet Cafe
What!? Talk mandolins!?
See Scott, you just can't stop it now matter how hard you try http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

Ah, the good ol' days,
nothing but Reverend Ted.
Now, what is bluegrass?

Django Fret
Mar-12-2003, 8:13pm
I wonder how Mandodude planned
This elaborate ruse, oh so grand?
No matter what name,
His response is the same...
“I used to play in that band!”

(Sorry, all the haiku must have inspired the mandolimerick.)

Mar-12-2003, 9:11pm
Never thought that I would see
My mando get the best of me - not yet

On the other hand as my eyes start
to cross - it shows me who is boss

Time spent with my mando is a sure bet
It's still boss - and I still fret

Mar-12-2003, 10:57pm
Django Fret, you are the LIMERICK MASTER, man!!

Y'know, back when I played with "Elaborate Ruse," our bass player used to come up with limericks... not nearly as good as yours, though!


Mandodude ;-)

Mar-12-2003, 11:20pm
There once was a sysop named Scott,
Who got upset when his Netizens fought.
So the Internet Cafe,
Went away one sunny day.
But Haiku still remained hot!

(Sorry, I could not help myself)

Mar-13-2003, 3:37am
Pardon anal-ness
But I believe it should be
Tch Tch TCH Tichenor

Tichenor I would think
Pronounced with two syllables
Such as this: Tish-nur

Django Fret
Mar-13-2003, 9:03am
Some players obsess on their scrolls,
Still others on their #“F” or “A” holes.
Yet it seems clear to me
Our objective should be:
Play the best music found in our souls.

(With my apologies in advance to any Haiku thread purists)

mad dawg
Mar-13-2003, 12:01pm
This was Haiku thread
But by all means contribute
With all clever verse

Jim M.
Mar-13-2003, 12:37pm
Four strings on fiddle
Eight strings on a Mandolin
Why not twice as loud?

Mar-13-2003, 12:48pm
Dale, Dale the Texas man
Sending the MK about the Land
I'm not on the list
Nor do I care to be
But when you get your Pheonix
you can send it to me!!!

Django Fret
Mar-13-2003, 2:28pm
MK posts bring out lovers and haters.
Some viewing the buyers as traitors!
It’s sure good to see
The fine opportunity
In this MK touring program of Cater’s.

David Landgraf
Mar-13-2003, 3:11pm
All mandolin players are lucky,
But the mando I own is quite yucky.
To say it in verse,
I don't know what's worse:
My poetry or my Kentucky!

Joe F
Mar-13-2003, 3:21pm
Dale's M-K tour
Lets us all give it a try.
Thank you, Mister C!

mad dawg
Mar-13-2003, 6:11pm
Everytime I visit this thread, I die laughing! Keep it up everyone -- exceptional work!!!

Django Fret
Mar-13-2003, 9:26pm
Some think it will make them play well
But for most its much harder to tell.
Some think it’s quite sick,
That a picker would pick
With the back of a poor turtle’s shell.

mad dawg
Mar-14-2003, 1:14pm
Tortoise shell plectrum
Sad fate for reptilian
Let's use bovine feet

Mar-14-2003, 1:32pm
Lessons from the Arts
Dustin Hoffman... "Graduate"
Just one word... PLASTIC!

David Landgraf
Mar-14-2003, 1:43pm
Mando, my new love.
Another lonely night for
my jealous guitar

Django Fret
Mar-14-2003, 2:24pm
When I see them for sale, I must pass,
Though I’m sure I could play one with class.
If I bought me that Loar,
Life would be such a bore
That for me there would be nada MAS.

Mar-14-2003, 6:26pm
Loud, clear, tone for days
Its my Givens mandolin...
Im so glad I splurged!

Low end rumbling
Ringing highs penetrating
My own tone-monster

Django Fret
Mar-15-2003, 10:52am
There once was a man from Nantucket
If he saw it had strings, he would pluck it.
The first banjo he played
Well, it launched a tirade,
“I'd rather carry my tunes in a bucket!”

Mar-15-2003, 11:00am
...saw a neat t-shirt once... all it said was...

"I'm the man from Nantucket"


Mar-15-2003, 11:29am
...saw a neat t-shirt once... all it said was...

"I'm the man from Nantucket"

nudge, nudge,wink, wink, know what I mean, say no more...

Here on the board Django Fret,
Could make a limerick out of anything I bet.
We started with Haiku,
But to that he said "Pooh-Pooh"!
And Scott has not shut us down yet!

Django Fret
Mar-15-2003, 12:39pm
Can’t Haiku and Limericks share the same thread?
Aren’t both simply words coming out of our head?
Saying that, let me state
To avoid the same fate,
No controversial topics, stick to mandos instead.

Mar-15-2003, 2:04pm
Untalented hack
Makes beautiful music
I love my f2

Ted Eschliman
Mar-15-2003, 3:19pm
"I'm the man from Nantucket"
I thought you once played in a young band from Nantucket...
(Sheesh! I'm amazed nobody else beat me to that one...)

Django Fret
Mar-15-2003, 4:33pm
There once was a band from Nantucket
Couldn’t get any gigs worth a ducat.
“Maybe we could attract fame
If we keep changing our name?”
Perhaps their Mando player can’t buck it?

mad dawg
Mar-20-2003, 11:09am
In these unsure times
I am thankful for my wife
and my mandolin

Django Fret
Mar-20-2003, 1:18pm
Clouds obscure the moon!
New strings on my mandolin,
straying out of tune!

Michael H Geimer
Mar-20-2003, 2:34pm
I pick the triplets
with down-up-down down-up-down
Such sweet simple songs

- Benig

Django Fret
Mar-22-2003, 9:28am
Licks hot as summer,
I hurl against the silence
hoping for others.

Apr-09-2003, 2:11pm
Sung to the tune "Would You Like To Swing on a Star"

Would you like to play Mandolin?
Instead of dreamin "what might of been"
Ya know you've wanted too right from the start
Or would you rather surf the web?

The web is an animal that eats all your time
Searchin for a mando that will play sublime,
Your eyes are a achin and your butt is numb
You wish you could hear how the darn thing strums,
But if you want to play for real
You're gonna have to fret the steel!

Or would you like to sit and pretend
Getting nowhere in the end,
Logging hours just on the web
Or would you rather "Buy it Now"

Oh look, there's a Gibson and a Kentucky too
Lebeda and a Weber just to name a few,
I'm dying for a mando, I'll just bid what I can
U.P.S. delivers, life is gonna be grand.
And if by chance I find a Loar
I'm gonna have to bid some more!

Because I want to play Mandolin
To hear those notes just can't be a sin.
So I've spent all of my savings dough
And now I'll learn to play Monroe!

Cause all those Mando Players are cool
Grisman, Marshall, Hokkanen too.
I'm off the web now, just for a few
But I'm tempted to take in a view
No! I've got better things to do,
I'm gonna play my Mandolin!

I wrote this when I was searching for my first mando.

Apr-09-2003, 8:42pm
just got home...so tired
ice cold beer, mando in hand
now its wind down time

Apr-10-2003, 8:58am
I pick, pluck and strum
Good mando tone eludes me
Now I'm a drummer!

Joe F
Apr-10-2003, 9:43am
Changing mando strings
Lost one of the old string ends.
Barefoot stroll -- found it!

Apr-10-2003, 1:39pm
laying back in bed
mando rests soft against me
sweet mid-mo slumber

(Ode to Monday nights when I go to work at 5am and don't get home from school until 10pm. I tried to get some mando practice in Monday after class and before bed, but got sucked into playing single deep notes just to feel the vibration through my whole body until I fell deep asleep)

Django Fret
Apr-21-2003, 9:52pm
Admiring Snakeheads.
And wishing I had one to
Help improve my scales!

Apr-21-2003, 11:31pm
Must be one for sale
Look, a great deal in Asia
A million seems high

Ted Eschliman
Apr-22-2003, 7:14am
<span style='color:red'>New</span> Rigel CT!
Work??? What work? (Aw rats. Day Gig...)
Pickin's so much fun.

Apr-23-2003, 5:36pm
"Long time no write" here.
Go for months without Haiku,
now a torrent flows.

Thomastik Infeld:
soon I will be trying them -
I can hardly wait!

Indonesian scams:
Comic relief every day;
Let bidders beware.

EBay is the best:
Navigate through all the crap,
find some real gems!

F-style mandolins
look like painted prostitutes.
"Guy thing", I suppose.

"Barin' down on it!"
"Boy, you're comin' in on 'er!"
(Oh, my, how they talk...)

Fretboard extensions?
Phallic symbolism, at best.
"Florida", my eye!

The song lyrics thread
reminds me why I prefer
the instrumentals.

No "chop chords" for me:
bratsches' after-beats galore
make me sick and tired.

"Mid Mo is so plain!"
Yes, beauty needs no makeup...
Hush, open your ears!

Flatback, round hole bliss:
Ringing tone simplicity.
Who needs gaudiness?

Strap? Nyet. Tone-Gard? Nein.
I only play 'em nekkid.
(Mandos, not me, perv!...)

Shameless plug time now:
Have you picked with ivory yet?
(No, not "Burma Shave!")

Hope you 'preciate
my humor, without offense.
All meant in good fun!

http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif bratsche

Apr-23-2003, 6:59pm
"Fretboard extensions?
Phallic symbolism, at best.
"Florida", my eye!"

Ah...ha! I was wondering why they film "Girls Gone Wild" in Florida. # http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

John Ritchhart
Apr-23-2003, 10:29pm
Methinks Bratsche doth
protest too much, to her size
does not matter, eh?

Apr-23-2003, 10:57pm
Mandolins are small,
mandocelli much too big,
mandolas just right.


Apr-23-2003, 11:25pm
The girl that went wild in Fla. was Bratsche....she's gone haiku crazy!

Django Fret
Apr-24-2003, 7:59am
Girls Gone Wild film crew
Upon seeing bratsche yell:
“Hey, show us your picks!”

Apr-24-2003, 9:21am
What's this "Girls Gone Wild"?
Don't have time for much TV,
Just the Cubs and news...


Frank Russell
Apr-24-2003, 11:01am
are you interest
to buying my mandolin
to the hell PEPEKKK!

Django Fret
Apr-24-2003, 11:54am
Topless commercials!
Bratsche, stick with news and cubs,
But Stern show runs them…

Apr-24-2003, 3:00pm
Thursday we're playing
little ducks all in a row
laughing till tears come

how fast fingers fly
trying to jump the canon
pachobel crazy

slowly she starts in
my mid-mo, singing sweetly
faster and faster

lost, we make it up
play "ode to insanity"
random strings and notes

these are the best nights
I practice all week for them
moonlight is dancing

mad dawg
Apr-24-2003, 8:17pm
Natalie, brave soul
Speaking your mind in these times
Impacts record sales

Django Fret
Apr-25-2003, 7:58am
Indonesian thieves
Running rampant on E-bay.
Glad Dale’s on our side!

Apr-25-2003, 8:08am
pick slides 'tween fingers
i search the room to find a
gorilla for snot

Apr-25-2003, 8:39am
What's this "Girls Gone Wild"?
Don't have time for much TV,
Just the Cubs and news...

Cubs... as in Chi-Town???
Glad to meet another fan
Of my "Hometown Team!"


mad dawg
Apr-25-2003, 9:15am
"Hometown Team" I think
Was the name of an old band
Mandodude played in

Apr-25-2003, 9:31am
Mad Dawg, YOU DA MAN!
How is it that you know all
Of my former bands??

Apr-25-2003, 10:34am
My "town" too, o Dude,
though not "home" for many years;
I still bleed Cub blue!

"How long must we wait?"
"Could this be our magic year?"
Well, it has been fun...

Mando content here:
Pick in C on "Take me out...",
Now, let's get some wins!


Apr-25-2003, 3:42pm
Swedish-made Levin
I'm not just yet in heaven
On the road there though

Django Fret
May-02-2003, 7:55am
Whether beef or pork,
Kansas City or Texas.
Good Barbeque? #Eat!

Django Fret
May-05-2003, 10:01pm
Mad Dawg and J. Mark.
Men who love wives and mandos.
Our hearts are with you.

Ted Eschliman
May-05-2003, 10:44pm
Rigel, Brightest Star...
Faithful was I, Oh F9.
Seduced, I must "cheat."

Joe F
May-06-2003, 7:47am
Sea-foam green mando,
purple banjo, blue guitar,
Technicolor jam.

May-06-2003, 10:55am
I like sea-foam green;
my wardrobe has much of it.
But a mando? .... No!


Django Fret
May-06-2003, 11:08am
Grateful Henry Ford
Did not mass-produce mandos.
They all would be black!

May-06-2003, 11:20am
New Mando player
Strings Twang, Strings Buzz
My Fingers hurt.

May-06-2003, 11:51am

Welcome to our "club!"
Learn to live with finger pain
It's called "payin' dues!"


Ted Eschliman
May-06-2003, 12:10pm
Payin', not "Pain" dues.
Mandos need not be painful!
Light strings. Adjustment.

May-06-2003, 12:34pm
Light strings, Light touch
Wimpy volume & such
Heavy strings, Action high
Be manly say's I.....WSM

Django Fret
May-06-2003, 3:11pm
Wonder if Texans
use barb wire for mando strings?
That would be manly!

May-06-2003, 3:53pm
Something not quite right....
Listen to Thile, but play
like Herman Munster

Four-fingered G ---Accckk!!!
Ping-pong balls you say? Neighbors
cast worried glances...

May-08-2003, 9:36am
School's out for summer!
No more overtime at work!
FINALLY - can pick!

Poor lonely mando
Sitting forlornly in case
Can come out and play!

(Got an 'A' in class:
Music Theory II this term
Fascinating stuff!)

May-08-2003, 10:18am
Took my last final
and then bought some new music
grade in classes: A!

Wish I took theory!
Could be so applicable!
Maybe in the fall

Mando is so hard
fingers fumbling and flailing
teaches me patience

Playing my mid-mo
could study THIS forever
grade in mando: C...

Joe F
May-08-2003, 2:34pm
My mando teacher
Doesn't give out any grades.
Good thing! #I would flunk.

May-08-2003, 4:29pm
I cannot think of
a haiku about mandos
I have to practice

Pick up mando case
forgot to latch it tightly
Ouch! Big repair bill

lightning fast fingers
melodies float to the sky
wish I could play that

Mandolin haiku
absorb too much time
must stop typing now

Django Fret
May-12-2003, 9:02pm
Twister hits Kansas!
New Mandolin Café site
becomes land of aahhs!

May-12-2003, 9:14pm
Look!! Is that a house,
Sitting squarely, right atop
That poor banjo dude??

I believe it is!
That's because we represent
"The Mandolin Guild!"

Django Fret
May-13-2003, 8:02am
Whoa!! Imagine that...
Mandolin orchestras on
the yellow brick road!

May-14-2003, 12:19pm
e string is tinny
want new axe but not much cash
whats a boy to do

Bob Sayers
May-14-2003, 8:20pm
Art imitating life or life imitating art? On March 11, I posted the following haiku:

Left in a taxi
My mando sallies forth
On its big adventure

Today, Scott posted a story about some guy leaving his expensive mandolin in the back of a Manhattan taxi. I hope his instrument has a great adventure.


Django Fret
May-14-2003, 8:37pm
Snarling traffic mess!
Must have been out of my mind
to leave my mando.

Hope wife understands...
Check insurance policy,
or increase reward!


Django Fret
May-16-2003, 7:05am
Picnic player sings
praises to Post and cabby!
A fare thing to do.


Ted Eschliman
May-16-2003, 11:49am
Wordsmiths gather thought.
Mandology? Mandomorph?
How to talk "mando?"

May-16-2003, 12:14pm
Mandohack, I know!
It must be "Mandosophy" -
Wisdom of mando

As an FYI
Stress the second syllable.
It's Man-DOSS-uh-fee

May-16-2003, 12:43pm
As an FYI
Stress the second syllable.
It's Man-DOSS-uh-fee
DARN!! For a minute there I thought somebody actually remembered one o' my former gigs...

Y'see, back in the days when paying jobs were scarce, I was forced to take a gig with an all-girl string band (think of the flick, Some Like It Hot)... I used to go by the name, Mando Sophie...


Ted Eschliman
May-16-2003, 4:26pm
I, Man-DOSS-uh-fer
Imbibe with ardor fine fifths.
Tunings. (Not bottles.)

Bobbie Dier
May-17-2003, 12:15am
well crap, I can't sleep
counting syllables instead
it's harder for hicks

Some of the words we pronounce have two syllables with a southern accent like fell it has two fe yull. Don't know if I'll get the hang of this or not!

Bobbie Dier
May-17-2003, 12:32am
Help! What to do now
Haiku is kicking MAS (m a$&)
The bug has bitten

May-17-2003, 4:04am
Mandorks Mandonize
While Mandodude Mandobates
Blindly in the Night

Django Fret
May-18-2003, 9:41am
Mandolin Haiku.
Who would have thought it would make
the Café front page?

Ted Eschliman
May-18-2003, 11:16am
Oh, how we aspire!
Notariety: Scott's "faves."
But not this Haiku...

May-18-2003, 3:57pm
I can't believe it!
My old Sampras/Bush Haiku
made Cafe's front page!

Oh, celebrity!
Plus, I have a CD of

What ever happened
to our old friend Russ Godfrey?
Hope he's doing well.

May-18-2003, 11:23pm
Not meant to re-open the "subjective discussion" but this helped finish it for me.

Object to Subject
Tones I like


Object mandoline
Subjective tones good or bad
This mando sounds good!



May-19-2003, 1:33am
plectrum where art thou
not in pockets, nor on floor
cruel pick wanderlust

Bill James
May-19-2003, 7:21am
Great poet Landgrass
Coincidence or maybe
Brother of Grandlass

Joe F
May-19-2003, 7:36am
Last I heard from Russ,
he was happy with his new
Freshwater octave.

Dave Greenspoon
May-21-2003, 11:43pm
Sing sweet, dear mando.
King David's Lyre is not heard;
your voice takes its place.

Django Fret
May-26-2003, 1:02pm
A violin is
sometimes known as a fiddle.
What about mandos?

Joe F
May-27-2003, 7:38am
Sun, warmth, breeze, mando
What a perfect way to spend
fiftieth birthday!

Ted Eschliman
May-27-2003, 10:48am
Happy Birthday, Joe.
May you always play in tune.
Fifty STARTS your prime!

Django Fret
May-30-2003, 11:59am
Wish some Café folk
would pick on their mandolins.
Not on each other!

Jun-02-2003, 3:07am
ahhhhhh I guess it's time
to put down my mandolin
and write my 3rd post

Jun-02-2003, 10:03am
Waiting for Old Wave.
Can my fingers salivate?
Drooling M-A-S.


Dark and Slender Boy.
I thought it was out of reach.
Closer and closer.


Mini disc practice.
Recorders have no judgment.
Humility reigns.


At bedtime my son
calls me, "Play your mandolin."
Peace and happiness.

Django Fret
Jun-14-2003, 8:05am
Shannon's mandolin!
T-Shirt, coffee mug, art print...
what will it become?

Jun-14-2003, 8:30am
Here's my idea...
Why not "all of the above?"
I'd buy one of each!

Michael H Geimer
Jun-14-2003, 11:01am
Some children paint well,
Others play the mandolin,
Raised on art and love.

Jun-15-2003, 10:04pm
Too much gin and beer?
Your soundhole can receive your
Technicolor yawn.

Jun-15-2003, 10:13pm
Ignatius Reilly,
lute player, philosopher,
Did he play mando?

Jun-15-2003, 10:18pm
My eight Steely strings
evoke the mechanized hum
of another world.

Django Fret
Jun-24-2003, 10:53am
Twenty thousand views...
"Post a Picture of Yourself",
a thread quite well read!

http://mandolincafe.net/cgi-bin....;t=4369 (http://mandolincafe.net/cgi-bin/ib3/ikonboard.cgi?act=ST;f=15;t=4369)

Django Fret
Jul-20-2003, 9:52pm
Mandodude revealed!
If it has been on the Web,
No secret is safe.

Django Fret
Aug-13-2003, 12:35am
Pete picks on the way.
If you didn’t sign up yet,
You might have lost out.

Aug-13-2003, 1:10am
Oh God, nooooo....not more Haiku......repeat after me, "There was a man from Nantucket...."

Aug-13-2003, 10:46am
Thile plays bluegrass,
No he doesn't you big jerk!
who cares? He's still good

Aug-13-2003, 10:51am
Whipped out my Johnson,
must have been playing to rough,
I broke my Johnson.

Joe F
Aug-13-2003, 11:52am
Ho-hum. #So boring.
"Shoes, Pac-rims and big Johnsons!"
Dale jump-starts the board.

mad dawg
Aug-13-2003, 12:18pm
With pinky to cheek
Dale, our own Dr. Evil
Laughs at his new thread:

http://mandolincafe.net/cgi-bin....;st=200 (http://mandolincafe.net/cgi-bin/ib3/ikonboard.cgi?act=ST;f=12;t=8111;hl=new;st=200)

Aug-13-2003, 2:09pm
Good festival chow?
A bottle of beer and a
L'il Debbie snack cake.

Aug-13-2003, 3:32pm
Nine more days to go,
Camp out on Evergreen Road,
It's Strawberry time!

mad dawg
Aug-14-2003, 5:47pm
Must keep thread alive;
It needs two hundred replies
To beat Dale's monster

Aug-14-2003, 6:17pm
Dale did not create
The "monster" of which we speak...
We ALL did our share!

...well, a LOT of us, anyway!...


Aug-14-2003, 6:23pm
It's a funny thing...
Once momentum takes its course,
Kinda tough to stop!

Django Fret
Aug-14-2003, 8:48pm
Problem with Haiku.
It takes more thought to compose
than most posts on board.

Aug-15-2003, 5:44am
Safe here? Quite doubtful
"What kind of strap do you use?"
Bore me, bore me, bore... :p

Aug-15-2003, 5:49am
It's not a "monster"
Just simply funnin' around
Who gives a flyin' ..........

Aug-16-2003, 2:07pm
something will be found
once the search is in progress
a line has two sides

This came from an interesting random haiku generator that can be found here (http://gothpunk.com/haiku-intro.html). #The haikus themselves are based upon the Oblique Strategies card deck created by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt. #

Aug-16-2003, 3:39pm
Ha ha ha ha, mandopete! That's some generator. Was it made for musicians? This is what I got:

a line has two sides
fill every beat with something
imagine the piece

Given the coincidental identicalness of my first line and your last, it looks like it doesn't "generate" any original phrases, but rather randomly throws together 5-7-5 syllable combinations from a pre-created database.


Django Fret
Aug-16-2003, 6:14pm
Some things are better
With human touch and feeling.
Like mando Haiku.

Aug-16-2003, 6:48pm
Touché, Django Fret -
we don't need no PoemBots,
"live" haiku is best!


Aug-17-2003, 1:01pm
Given the coincidental identicalness of my first line and your last, it looks like it doesn't "generate" any original phrases, but rather randomly throws together 5-7-5 syllable combinations from a pre-created database.
As I said, it is based upon the Oblique Strategies card deck. #I believe that it does exactly what you've said. #If you're unfamiliar with Oblique Strategies, these are phrases which are printed on a card deck. #The phrases or suggestions are meant to provide a method to working through a problem. #I am vastly over simplifying their intended use and a web seacrh on the topic will reveal much more information.

Oblique Strategies
Created by Eno and
Schmidt to solve problems

Create dilemma
And work to resolution
Oblique Strategies

John Flynn
Aug-17-2003, 2:09pm
I tried the random generator and on three clicks got one very apropos to the site:

normal instrument
would anybody want it?
do something boring

This is fun!

Django Fret
Sep-02-2003, 7:42pm
Mando pickers from
Timbuktu, write limericks
as well as Haiku.

The word counts and rhyme
require more time, giving
them less things to do.

Sep-03-2003, 10:45am
mandolin haiku
it's like finding an old friend
glad to have it back!

Ode to my first real vacation since my honeymoon five years ago-

the windy city
just begging for a visit
off to Chicago!!!

Ode to Lad O'Bierne's Hornpipe-

learning a new song
for mando class on Thursday
so teach won't kill me

melody rebels
song doesn't repeat enough
makes it hard to learn


Django Fret
Sep-12-2003, 11:18pm
Johnny Cash has died.
Not the same, living in Cash-
less society.

Sep-13-2003, 11:40am
I should study more.
Mandolin is calling me...
I should practice more.

Sep-27-2003, 11:05pm
In the flowerpots
my cats love to take a whiz
Gibson's not for me!

Go Cubs!
2003 NL Central Division Champs!

John Ritchhart
Sep-28-2003, 3:20am
Bratsche! Please, I think
this sort of comment is way
below your raisin'.

Django Fret
Sep-28-2003, 8:16am
Kill the Tater Bug!
Time to get rid of Lloyd Loar.
Better not use Pot!

Sep-29-2003, 2:05am
Hey jbrwcky -
better fewer words right here
than post "over there"...


Ol' Antonio Strad
lived in less litigious times,
to all our relief!


<span style='color:blue'>Eamus Catuli!</span>

John Ritchhart
Sep-29-2003, 2:41am
Hello Bratsche! I
Think you're right, cause my cat does
what the lawyers do. (do)

Sep-30-2003, 8:57pm
vintage mandola
ebay gamble...mystery
from someone's attic

Joe F
Oct-01-2003, 10:04am
So round and so firm,
my fingers caress the face
of my Golden Gate.

Oct-01-2003, 10:28am
A costly new axe
Should always be near perfect
If mall-bred or not.

Checking the classies
I see a Monteleone
A poor "investment"?

A glib know-it-all
I say I'd do things better
But I'm likely wrong.

I waited for months
On ol' number twenty three
Now I am happy.

Relax my right arm
Watch it get tight once again
Relax my right arm.

Oct-09-2003, 12:45pm
My turn for solo,
I can't think of anything
I give a weak shrug

Crowd cheering, this is fun!
Oh no, I just dropped my pick!
Crowd laughs now, I faint.

Oct-09-2003, 12:59pm
Mando won't fit case
I will have to make it fit
Give me the chainsaw. http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

Day after the next
Play for 2500
Fingers are shaking.

Oct-09-2003, 2:14pm
For my Dad:

Board is in whispers
All are so busy, quiet
I need distraction!

Dad tells me big news
Only seven days notice
He's getting married!

Glance in the closet
Seeing only black dresses
Oh, what will I wear?

Good bout of shopping
Will find me a happy dress
For these happy times!

Django Fret
Oct-09-2003, 4:59pm
Confused mandolin.
TV absorbs my time while
Cubs and Red Sox play!

Oct-18-2003, 4:38am
Don't screw with my mind
Bluntly laying it online
Enjoy fall colours

Oct-27-2003, 11:44pm
evil incarnate
mandos unappreciated
Guitar Center hell

Tenth Command unkept:
covet not neighbor's mando
want scroll, F envy

lonesome mando blues
grieving heart, seeking solace
Red Sox still cursed

Oct-27-2003, 11:51pm
lonesome mando blues
grieving heart, seeking solace
Red Sox still cursed
Red Sox have a curse???
Misery loves company...
Cubs fan here, my friend!

Oct-28-2003, 12:38am
Red Sox Cubs Series
an eternal fantasy
like playing "Rawhide"

Oct-28-2003, 3:17am
Yikes r n j l
Three stanzas of poetry
Heavy duty, man

Oh! And there's mandodude! http://mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Oct-28-2003, 6:16am
mandos unappreciated

Red Sox still cursed
Urrrrrrnnnntttt!!! Red flag!!! Red flag!!!
Did not follow Haiku rules
But I did look twice

Oct-28-2003, 11:07am
As fall's first frost hit
In my pickin chair I sit
Gonna play a bit

Warm's up these ol' bones
Makes a house, feel like a home
My sweet mandolin

mad dawg
Oct-28-2003, 11:37am
Spruce top with ten strings,
Walnut body, great sustain
My Freshwater sings

What was I thinking?
Ten strings on a mandolin
And just four fingers

Oct-29-2003, 5:21am
Fell in rabbit hole
Following yellow brick road
Oh dear! Oh my! Help!

Brian Baker
Nov-01-2003, 12:43am
William Smith Monroe
Ancient tones flowed from his hands
Through wires and wood -- thanks!

Nov-02-2003, 10:47pm
Here's the Epiphone
my brother left behind. It
plays better than mine.

I would gladly play
the Samick until I'm old
to have him here still.

Nov-03-2003, 12:17am
Distressed at Birth.
Before my Prime.
No Benefit of Time.

Beaten Down (up?).
Experiential Farce.

Misdirected Destiny.
Chance Encounters

Maturity Consigned,
Alas, To Henry's
Bottom Line.

Django Fret
Nov-03-2003, 7:28am
Distressed Loars are hot!
Lloyd probably felt distressed
when he got fired.

Joe F
Nov-03-2003, 11:28am
Weird weather outside;
Sure glad my mando's inside,
safe from cold white stuff.

Nov-03-2003, 12:56pm
Mandolin is easy to play
At least, this is what I thought
That makes me a drummer

Nov-03-2003, 1:20pm
I'll try a couple
forgive me my lame attempts
long time, no haiku.

Festival weekend
Once in the future, far off
Now here, gone, too short

Mandolin pickers:
We merry, jolly, teasers
Of Banjo players

Nov-04-2003, 8:02am
Missing mandodude
Tried hard to keep you around
Hope all is well, friend.

mad dawg
Nov-04-2003, 11:48am
Pangur Ban (White Cat)
Would we know of your skills if
St. Gall played mando?

Nov-05-2003, 1:31am
Evanston shop wall
Flatiron hanging sweetly
now twenty years!

Nov-09-2003, 11:15am
Kind words from a friend
Make me wish I had the time
To do more than "lurk"...


Nov-11-2003, 7:54am
Embracing kindness
Believe me, that's been my life
Yet monsters chase me

Django Fret
Dec-06-2003, 9:44pm
Log on to Café,
or hunt mandos on eBay?
Better yet, just play!

Dec-07-2003, 6:14am
Ninth parry tumble
Sniper, surfer, fighter, HIT
Slow recovery

Hi Django!

Dec-11-2003, 8:23am
Lonesome Fiddle Blues

Shun? #Lost favorite fiddles
Hey, Diddle, diddles?

Django Fret
Dec-13-2003, 9:24pm
Fragrant smell of spruce.
Hope of peace on earth and good
will to mandolin.

Dec-23-2003, 7:00am
Susceptance transmit
Current overload admit
'Lectric-Magnet verve

Wanted to submit a nice holiday Haiku ditty too, but this came out instead!

Hey, 'dude! That's kinda how I "plug in." Not good!

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....Hollerdays? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!


(so where's all the other Holiday Haiku's?)

Dec-23-2003, 8:11am

We're the spring run-off
Which has waited all winter
So that it can move

Dec-23-2003, 8:14am
The last wooden note
Decaying into nothing
Everything is still

Dec-28-2003, 9:10pm
Only played one year
And now have 3 mandolins
Darn that M-A-S!

I write BAD poetry...

Jan-04-2004, 11:40pm
loyalty tested
Martin in my arms sweetly
jealous Flatiron

Django Fret
Jan-23-2004, 9:07am
Too many mandos!
Weapon of MAS destruction
no where to be found.

Scott Tichenor
Jan-24-2004, 11:22am
Django Fret: brilliant. This earns a permanent place on the Cafe page best of message board haiku (http://www.mandolincafe.com/archives/haiku.html).

Ted Eschliman
Jan-24-2004, 11:56am
Lewis' "Django" axe.
Once caressed, sweet maple kiss.
Empty hands taunt me...

Jan-24-2004, 12:20pm
You've got MAS?
I do not, so here's your cure:
Give me your "di$ea$e"!


Jan-24-2004, 2:42pm
Gibson mandolin
Sweetly singing in my arms
Could life be better?

Django Fret
Jan-25-2004, 9:15am
Django Fret: brilliant. This earns a permanent place on the Cafe page best of message board haiku (http://www.mandolincafe.com/archives/haiku.html).
A place of honor.
Humble Mandolin Café
Haiku author smiles.

Jan-25-2004, 9:34am
Congratulations! #You certainly deserve it. #It's true! #Your writing is brilliant.

Jan-25-2004, 9:45am
Or should I say...

You certainly deserve it!
Shimmering brilliance...

Django Fret
Jan-25-2004, 1:51pm
You've got MAS?
I do not, so here's your cure:
Give me your "di$ea$e"!

Want my MAS, do you?
Finance by MAS producing
Pachyderm plectrum!

Jan-27-2004, 11:59pm
bassoon is poo poo,
i love mandolin,
girlfriend hates mando.

Jan-28-2004, 12:00am
yes i really do,
play that piece of junk poo poo,
bassoons arent sexy.

Jan-28-2004, 9:17pm
Monroe's aged hands
Caress the sweet work of art
Like father and child

by: mP

This was inspiried by this famous picture from Senor McGuire...

Jan-28-2004, 10:03pm
Bronze and wood vibrate
Sound down a cochlear path
To synaptic bliss

Jan-29-2004, 12:01am
learning comes in waves
frustration can overwhelm
practice is the key

Jan-29-2004, 12:58am
Throbbing cavity
Electric meyhem awaits
Where's the damn doctor?

Jan-29-2004, 1:48am
Django Fret:
Want my MAS, do you?
Finance by MAS producing
Pachyderm plectrum!

You surely know they're
made just one at a time, (to
elephants' relief)!

Thus, were MAS financed
by pick production, 'twould leave
no time left to... live!

'Tis a moot point, though -
bare necessitie$ are my
main priority... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif


Jan-29-2004, 8:29am
Son sleeps peacefully
Dad plays the waltz so slowly
Slumber mando land

Darkness sweetly grows
Feet nestling toe to toe
Dream of harmony

Joe F
Jan-29-2004, 8:41am
One sure cure for MAS
is to have a case of CAS
(cash absence syndrome)

mad dawg
Jan-29-2004, 2:09pm
Been reading Plato:
Dialogues of Socrates;
Give me the Hemlock!

Jan-29-2004, 11:45pm
I'm as good once,
as I ever once was,
'Bout as good as one nite should be...

Sam Bush
In your vegatable garden
Seizure Salad

Feb-04-2004, 11:29pm
harsh metallic tone
E string brightness untamed
no Reischman karma

Feb-04-2004, 11:35pm
mysterious notes
"Mandolin Abstractions"
album from Krypton

Feb-05-2004, 1:27am
late at nite and tired
just one more haiku today
and good night for now

up-size, down-size, just my size...
New Mando Snob here!

Feb-06-2004, 3:00pm
Fidd'lers never fret
over the mandolinists'
e'er present "MAS" debt

Feb-06-2004, 3:03pm
Fiddlers never fret
because there's no such thing as
frets on a fiddle.

bratsche http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Scott Tichenor
Mar-21-2004, 10:01am
This is pretty cool. Web creation makes the label of a Kimble Mandolin (http://www.rickhannon.com/kimble/img/DSCN0925.JPG). The full haiku appears on this page (http://www.mandolincafe.com/archives/haiku.html).

Mar-21-2004, 3:59pm
Hot sunny day strum
Lost the hat to cool my brow
Not for tips just grins

Django Fret
Mar-22-2004, 10:51am
This is pretty cool. Web creation makes the label of a Kimble Mandolin (http://www.rickhannon.com/kimble/img/DSCN0925.JPG). The full haiku appears on this page (http://www.mandolincafe.com/archives/haiku.html).
Mandolin Haiku.
Inspiration for author,
builder, and player.

John Ritchhart
Mar-22-2004, 12:07pm
In Switzerland, the
mandolin echoes across
the fog shrouded lake.

Joe F
Mar-22-2004, 12:48pm
With new graphite bridge,
my mistakes are twice as loud
as they were before.

Mar-22-2004, 2:47pm
Sitting on the couch,
playing mando in ski cap.
Man it's cold up here!

Mar-22-2004, 4:54pm
Sitting on the couch
In a ski cap? Cold? Hello....
Put some pants on pete! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Joe F
Mar-23-2004, 8:43am
Pete in birthday suit,
Image burned into my brain
like a solar flare.

Mar-23-2004, 9:26am
The was an old man from Turin
who liked to pluck the Mandolin
but his wife was a bore
and started to snore
whenever he started pluckin

so he left her

Not a haiku I know but I tried.....

Django Fret
Mar-23-2004, 10:10am
When he’s posting, Mandopete is no slouch.
Except those without clothes on his couch.
But much to his credit,
Scott was able to edit,
Before too many viewers had to say “Ouch”!

Mar-23-2004, 2:25pm

Mar-23-2004, 2:27pm

Yippie - 1,000 posts.

I thought either I would never make it or Scott wouldn't let me!

(just kiddin' http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif )

Mar-23-2004, 10:28pm
surfin' this here Cafe
eatin' up my practice time
still can't stop myself!http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

Mar-23-2004, 11:25pm
She stood for decades
Fell in an instant
She was too graceful for pallets
Her sawn slabs find my shop
My loving hands create her homage
She will live another century

Ted Eschliman
Mar-26-2004, 9:27pm
Lewis 'Django' charmed.
Savings account now empty,
Yet lap, spirit full.

Dance maple flame, dance.
Your gypsy fire warms my heart,
in quiet brilliance.

Mar-26-2004, 11:25pm
Haiku? What the heck?
Phrases never even rhyme.
This make sense to you?

Mar-29-2004, 4:47am
Mando in window
They: #"Steer clear! #Hands off! #Don't touch!!!
Decisions be mine

Mar-29-2004, 4:56am
Ooops...I'm not even suppossed to be here... #Rebellious, I am... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Billy Mack
Apr-02-2004, 5:14am
callous on my tips;
once predominate was pain.
memories since lost

mad dawg
May-20-2004, 10:10am
New Allen tailpiece:
Improved my tone and volume;
What upgrade is next?...