Literary Challenge

[Ravenwood]

As I am sitting here trying to catch up on Cafe postings, my wife is doing her usual reading to me of whatever she has found interesting on the Internet, despite that fact that I am doing my best to ignore her ;).

What she has run across this evening has proven rather hilarious. On a message board she found a literary challenge once posed to Ernest Hemingway. The challenge was to tell a story in six or fewer words. His was "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn." Leaves a lot to the imagination ...eh! Members were invited to post their own offerings and some have truly been entertaining.

So here's the challenge: Tell a story in six words or less, and since this is the Mandolin Cafe, it has to involve a mandolin or related instrument.

Truth is better than fiction, but imagination is better than truth. Fire away!

[mrmando]

My first thought was along the lines of "Banjo player needed. Must drive stick," but that's hardly original.

[JEStanek]

Life was complete with paired courses.

[mrmando]

But then I broke a string.

[Gelsenbury]

His tremolo sounded only once.

[violmando]

The mandocellist played the last chord.

[Mandoviol]

He oftimes used mandolins for slicing...

[JEStanek]

Only the grave stopped his MAS.

[OldSausage]

For hire. Skilled mandolinist. No strings.

[abuteague]

She kept time until the fire.

[Paul Kotapish]

Mandolin shards on a dusty grave.

[EdSherry]

Then he attempted to tune it ...

[Dennis Ladd]

Dust covered Kentucky KM1000. New Gibson.

[Mandoviol]

Who knew strings could be sharp?

[OldSausage]

A painful reminder, the signed splinter.

[Jim MacDaniel]

His budgetary conundrum: food or upgrade?

[billkilpatrick]

tombstone rolled away - her mandolin gone!

[OldSausage]

A lifetime's practice buried with him.

[Fred Young]

The Mandolin was quite quiet.....

[JEStanek]

She stoked not a fire, briskly.

[...and Master of None]

Mandolin for sale. Husband away.

[OldSausage]

Cheap bourbon reeked from the soundhole.

[Omer]

Tone–finally! Wood aged with exhaustion.

[OldSausage]

Arthritic hands traced the sun-bleached outline.

[allenhopkins]

Saw the label -- the signature read...

[Marcus CA]

He bought the Lore; illiteracy laughed.

[F-2 Dave]

A lifetime spent mastering three chords.

[Laird]

Bourbon, Bighorn, and buckshot. Never again.

[F-2 Dave]

Tom teased men with unfinished ovals.

[Mandoviol]

They no longer called it "banjo..."

[billkilpatrick]

stradivarian mandolin, sealed in wax. titanic

[Mandolin Mick]

Bought Gibson F-9; very happy now!!!

[billkilpatrick]

abandoned spaceship. navigator's quarters. slimy mandolin.

[8stringdreamer]

he played the same song again....

[coolwood]

FedEx arrived! So cold. Wait? Open?

[Cliff D]

Greatest mando hits for the deaf ........

[journeybear]

eight strings resonate, listeners smile

What's that? Ukulele? Another corpse found ...

dusty mandolin, rusty strings, in tune

What's that? Banjo? Another corpse found ...

For Bill:

mandolin's logo scratched out with knife

mandolin's splinters cover floor - poker nearby

mandolinist holds aloft five band members

and though it doesn't mention mandolins, this recent thread title suggests a story or two or three:

Cliche Fun Italian Dinner Gig - Help!

Oh, man - this is post #2500 for me? I just don't know ...

mandolinist's 2500th post causes contemplation, questioning

Aaarrrghhh! Make it stop! :crying:

challenge intrigues mandolinist, unable to stop

HELP!!! :crying: :)) :whistling:

BTW, bill, your cinematic offerings are the best! ;) You really get it ...

[Randi Gormley]

Black cases crowded the room.

[yankees1]

Eastman 505 and 915RM next OW

[Randi Gormley]

Sweaty hands: where's the pick now?!?

[Scott Tichenor]

Have read all of this before.

[mdithk]

Student left. At last. Peace. Quiet.

[mandopete]

Logged in, saw thread - now laughing!

:))

[Cliff D]

Scott, nothing new under the sun.......

[Pen]

F-Holes provide my fun and rhythm.

[Mandoviol]

Almost like mando haiku, ain't it?

[Pete Hicks]

OOPS! Crack! Boing! Oh, No!

[Poener]

"He used his stomach as a table when he played."

[mculliton123]

"Closethedamndoor! I can still hear you."

[NotJethro]

For sale: custom mandolin build slot.

[Bob DeVellis]

Literary challenge? Why not just play?

[billkilpatrick]

life. chocolate. sex. mandolin(s). death.

... it's all there guys.

[mrmando]

But Bill, that's only five words.

I think you left out "Berlusconi."

[8stringdreamer]

Gave up cigarettes. Took up mandolin.

[billkilpatrick]

But Bill, that's only five words.

I think you left out "Berlusconi."

"berli" stays put, thanks, but - just shows to go - everyone needs an editor!

new, unabridged version reads:

"life. chocolate. sex. mandolin(s). VENICE! death"

... hollywood beckons.

[tstackhouse]

Dark and stormy plight, mandolin missing.

[tstackhouse]

Call me Grisman.

[Jon Hall]

Put that thing down...come here.

[journeybear]

But Bill, that's only five words.

From the OP:


So here's the challenge: Tell a story in six words or less, and since this is the Mandolin Cafe, it has to involve a mandolin or related instrument.

Truth is better than fiction, but imagination is better than truth. Fire away!

Five words - all he needs.

At least his posts tell stories. In other words,

Lame jokes not stories. Missed point.

Imagery fires imagination, mandolin dreams. Aspire!

[wildpikr]

Searching for tone. Changed picks...again.~o)

[terzinator]

This is going well, I think.

[Mandoviol]

Pick mandos, not noses.

[JEStanek]

Mandolin proved ineffective at killing zombies. (that tells a story!)

[Scott Austin]

Mandolin sings,ax swings ,chops gone.

[journeybear]

Mandolin proved ineffective at killing zombies. (that tells a story!)

Ha ha ha!!! :)) You and billkilpatrick have a future in Hollywood ... :cool:

Splintered mandolin neck pierced vampire's heart.

[billkilpatrick]

gee, Dee ... EEA!

[Jim]

In a case, under the bed.

[Darren Bailey]

Lonely heart. Gentle touch. Calloused fingertips.

[montana]

Sale, Banjo, Free or best offer.

[Dan Hoover]

she strummed my strings slowly.:redface:

[John Flynn]

Luthiery tools: fireplace poker, glue pot

[Jim MacDaniel]

Ice-hockey game near ice-fishing hole. Game over.

[journeybear]

Mandoline slices, dices, grates - hot licks!

[Brain]

Library notice. Overdue: "Mastering the Mandolin."

[OlderThanWillie]

On my tombstone: I've done it all except this.

[Elliot Luber]

Man in white hat can play!

[BadeInBulverde]

A kit. Open Box. Assemble mandolin.

[Dfyngravity]

Yard sale. Opens case. Jaw drops.

[JEStanek]

Nice one, Ben.

[Bob1300]

On the seventh day, He jammed.

[Miss Lonelyhearts]

"Damage doesn't affect tone or playability."

[delsbrother]

It made his ears bleed.

[kmiller1610]

Bell Toned Inversion Jazz Riffed explosion

[billkilpatrick]

john, paul, george, ringo, mandolin? - bill

[Randi Gormley]

Last mandolinist on Earth -- broken string.

[MikeEdgerton]

Why did I read this thread?

[journeybear]

Last mandolinist on Earth -- broken string.

Wasn't that a Twilight Zone episode? :confused:



PS: Bill is baiting us - He knows very well George and Paul played mandolin in their post-Beatles careers.

[Ted Eschliman]

More than Pentatonics. So much more...

[Mandoviol]

Dies Irae: not operatic on mando.

[billkilpatrick]

PS: Bill is baiting us - He knows very well George and Paul played mandolin in their post-Beatles careers.

yeah, but who taught 'em? ...

[drewgrass]

stealth black ops cambodia mandolin string

[Bertram Henze]

mando east, spouse west, car south

[fatt-dad]

(for my mom who was going to pen her great novel as such. . .)

My life in a dentist chair.

[ColdBeerGoCubs]

Ruben spoke lovingly through his mandolin.

(Ruben and Cherise)

[Randi Gormley]

OK, now that I got some of my favorite cliches out of my way, here are some movie scenes:

Horror: Buried alive while mandolin music played.
War: Sniper fires — broken Bluechip in pocket.
Adventure: Rappelling clear on G string. (or) Parachute falters — grab strings, replace cord.
Fantasy: Lured by mandolin into suspended animation (or alternate reality)
Spy: Contact leaves microdot in f-hole.
Chick flick: Tremolo swells as he glances seductively.

[journeybear]

Finally found THE lost chord, it's -

Homeric version:

Found THE lost chord, it's - D'oh! :crying:

[Richard Morrison]

Well i lobster, and never flounder.

[Richard Morrison]

Where's the tonality...long feared dead.

[Richard Morrison]

Cedar dreams and curly maple wishes.

[Jim MacDaniel]

Trade offered: wedding ring for mandolin (http://www.mandolincafe.com/forum/showthread.php?60519-Men-s-wedding-ring-for-a-mandolin-on-Craig-s-List).

[billkilpatrick]

wow ... i'll be thinking about that one for a while.

it's an old person's hand (i'm familiar with the concept) showing the ring ... but is it male or female?

[jim simpson]

blindgirl regains sight, dumps (ugly) mandolin boyfriend


Okay, I cheated a little. I think this came from the old Weekly World News. The headline read: Blind girl regains sight, dumps ugly boyfriend.
Once in performance at the end of an instrumental, I said that was the title and got a few laughs. Why do instrumentals have titles? So you can remember them - lol.

For you older folks, remember "Bright Elusive Butterfly" by Bob Lind from the 60's. He was (may still be) a staff writer for the Weekly World News going by Robert Lind.

I guess if you could write "Bright Elusive Butterfly", you could come up with Bat Boy from West Virginia.

Sorry for rambling.........

http://weeklyworldnews.com/

[ColdBeerGoCubs]

Whiskey Before breakfast. I love you.

[mculliton123]

You're all just Jung and immature.



mc

[Ed Goist]

Mandolin: Bardic tones calling across ages.

[B. T. Walker]

The fireplace poker smashed the mandolin.

There's a story there, alright. Almost a grand old soap opry. :grin:

[chasgrav]

Bill hadn't yet met his uncle.

[fredfrank]

I'll never buy another one. Really!

[Steve Farling]

Case opens, baby guitar?

[Steve Farling]

Stand tips over, man goes insane!

[Jim Hilburn]

Have you seen a blue mandolin?

[Mandoviol]

I sleep with mandolin in hand.

[catmandu2]

Tiger to address perturbation at Master's