Lyrical mistakes.

[Chris Travers]

OK, Thought this would be interesting. I've heard several songs that when I first heard the lyrics I thought they were something else. Two examples ironically have nothing to do with mandolin. But here they are anyway.

1. Purple Haze "excuse me while I kiss this guy" Should be "excuse me while I kiss the sky"

2. Noel "Barney's the king of Israel" Should be "born is the king of Israel"

Y'all got any examples?

Chris

[MacNichol]

The Purple Haze mistake is so common there's a website - kissthisguy.com and a book. Please see the below links.

http://www.kissthisguy.com/


http://www.amazon.com/Scuse-While-Kiss-This-Guy/dp/0671501283/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238596115&sr=8-14

[Chris Travers]

That is funny!

[farmerjones]

Sonny & Cher's, And the Beat Goes On. My sister thought it was, "In the Beagle Zone."

I figured half of the reason Dylan sang how he did, was to see what people came up with. How many interpretations were there to Memphis Blues Again?

Or how bout learning the Rolling Stone's, Brown Sugar phonetically. :))

[Mandophyte]

There's good comment here:

http://www.dickgaughan.co.uk/songs/about-lyric-sites.html

on lyrical errors from Dick Gaughan (Scotland)

John

[Jason Kessler]

CCR: "There's a bathroom on the right."

[Steve Ostrander]

CCR: "There's a bathroom on the right" instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise".

[allenhopkins]

OK, now you're talking mondagreens! (or mondegreens, alt. spelling)

There's an old Scottish ballad, The Bonnie Earl O'Murray, which opens with the lines,
Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl o'Murray,
And laid him on the green.

However, singer after singer made the last line "And Lady Mondagreen" instead. The fictitious Lady Mondagreen thus lent her name to the entire genre of mis-heard and mis-repeated song lyrics.

I thought of this last night listening to a CD of Robbie O'Connell singing The Earl of Murray. It's one of those interestingly personified idioms, like "spoonerism," that go back to a specific reference point.

Cheers to Lady Mondagreen! Hope she "kissed this guy" and found the "bathroom on the right."

[JeffD]

on lyrical errors from Dick Gaughan (Scotland)



SIDEBAR

I was a huge Dick Gaughan fan. I have a bunch of his albums from the 80s. I love his style, his weathered voice, his guitar playing, and his train wreck visage. I have seen him live quite a few times.

[Nolan]

"I... wanna rock and roll all night... and part of every day"

[Randi Gormley]

Mondegreens, i think. My favorite is "Ain't No Woman but the One-Eyed Gott"

[Randi Gormley]

whoops -- cross post.

[Randi Gormley]

And "like the one-eyed gott." I gotta wear my glasses more often when i'm typing

[Bertram Henze]

The book "A Monk Swimming" by the irish author Malachy McCourt. The Title is a mondegreen from the prayer Hail Mary: "...Blessed are you amongst women.."

Bertram

[AlanN]

"On her breast, she wore Mike Lilly"

- Ricky Skaggs on East Virginia Blues

[pigpen]

One of the funniest things that I've seen in a while is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLd22ha_-VU

It's made-up lyrics to Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter, with illustrative pictures. Fantastic stuff!

[Bertram Henze]

There's good comment here:

http://www.dickgaughan.co.uk/songs/about-lyric-sites.html

on lyrical errors from Dick Gaughan (Scotland)

John

Oh yes, even before the internet became popular you had to be careful when reading sleeve notes of a record sung in Scots. I still have one with Ewan McColl singing "Cherlie O Cherlie" which goes "...I'm awaa tae the bonny hieland hills" (I am away to the bonny highland hills), but the lyrics said " ...tae the bonny hills and hells", and that was about the quality of all the written lyrics.

Bertram

[TonyP]

I walked in from work to the thunderous sounds of NewGrass Revival on the stereo one day when my then small kids and their mom were all dancing around and singing at the top of their lungs " we're gonna have a be by bo! we're gonna have a be by bo!" on and on. When the song finally ended, I said do you know what the words to the chorus they were singing was? They looked at me quizzically, and I said
"we're gonna have a revival!" Are you sure? they all said at the same time.

[Chris Travers]

one of the funniest things that i've seen in a while is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xld22ha_-vu

it's made-up lyrics to pearl jam's yellow ledbetter, with illustrative pictures. Fantastic stuff!

hahahah!

[SGraham]

My kids loved the hymn, "Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear." (Gladly the Cross I'd Bear)
I have a friend who was confused by the gospel song, "Rex Chewed the Parrafin." (Rescue the Perishing)

[Kip]

John Prine "Happy Enchilada" ------- s/b "half an inch of water"

[Chris Travers]

These are great! Keep 'em coming!

[Elliot Luber]

My favorite two are

1) Carley Simon's "You're so vain," where it says "some underworld spy or the wife of a closefriend." My childhood friend's mom thought it said: "Some underworld spy or the wife of a clothespin."

2) My son mistook Alanis Morrisette's "You ought to know" saying "The cross I bear that you gave to me" to hear "the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me."

[Tobin]

As a kid growing up with parents in a traveling gospel band, we kids used to sing along at the small church revivals at which they would play. But my younger brother didn't really know the words. One song's chorus was supposed to go like this:

I'll see you in the rapture
I'll see you in the rapture
I'll see you in the rapture some sweet day...
And with our Blessed Savior
I'll see you in the rapture
I'll see you in the rapture some sweet day...

This is how my brother would sing it. At the top of his lungs:

I'll see you in the rupture
I'll see you in the rupture
I'll see you in the rupture some sweet day...
And with our Blasted Savior
I'll see you in the rupture
I'll see you in the rupture some sweet day...

[Richard Singleton]

"Lead on, O Kingly Turtle" for "Lead on, O King Eternal"

[Joe F]

Back when I was a wee lad, I was always confused by the lyrics in "Chapel of Love" by the Dixie Cups. The repeated line, "Goin' to the chapel and we're / gonna get married" sounded to me like "Goin' to the Jack-o-Lantern ..." It didn't make any sense, but that's how I heard it.

[mandopete]

My favorite from a single, Copenhagen-using crooner....

"I'm so lonely without chew!"

[man dough nollij]

Whenever I listen to CCR, I have to wonder who Lorraine is...


Long as I remember Lorraine been comin down.
Clouds of mystry pourin confusion on the ground.
Good men through the ages, tryin to find the sun;
And I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll stop Lorraine.

I went down virginia, seekin shelter from the storm.
Caught up in the fable, I watched the tower grow.
Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains.
And I wonder, still I wonder who’ll stop Lorraine.

Heard the singers playin, how we cheered for more.
The crowd had rushed together, tryin to keep warm.
Still the rain kept pourin, fallin on my ears.
And I wonder, still I wonder who'll stop Lorraine.


They wrote another one about her, too: "Have you ever seen Lorraine?"
:confused:

[chasray]

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

when the rain washes you clean ... you'll know
sounds like
then the rain washes you'll clean your nose

[Phillip Tigue]

Well, since my dad was/is a music director at the church, I'll add this one we used to sing without his knowledge...especially once we learned the real lyrics...

Instead of
At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light
And the burden of my heart rolled away (Rolled away)
It was there by faith I received my sight
And now I am happy all the day.

We sang...
At the cross, at the cross where a train hit my hoss
And the wheels on my buggy rolled away (ROOOLLLED AWAY!)
It was there jumping ditches, that I split my Sunday britches
and the wheels on my buggy rolled away.

I usually got a look with a, "Come on now, son," followed after.

[pickloser]

"Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche another roamer in the night"
I still don't know what the actual words are. I sure do hope those aren't the correct lyrics.

[Randi Gormley]

My youngest used to sing "Felice Mommy Dot"

[Coffeecup]

I guess this qualifies as lyrical mistakes!

Ken Lee (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RgL2MKfWTo)

[Scott Austin]

Big old jet had a light on ,Steve Miller

[Gerard Dick]

From CCR "there's a bathroom on the right" From church "Lead on oh kinky turtle" From Christmas carols "Olive the other reindeer" The list is long.

[blawson]

I guess this qualifies as lyrical mistakes!

Ken Lee (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RgL2MKfWTo)

Too good -- thanks for sharing.

John Boy & Billy (http://www.thebigshow.com) had a "Chronic Lyricosis" skit years ago. I can't remember all of them, but a couple were:

"Bring me an iron lung" -- Steve Winwood
"Hold me closer Tony Danza" -- Elton John

Wish I could find an archive of that skit...

[Joe Mendel]

PickL, it's "deuce" , I saw the lyrics written out somewhere long ago. I always thought the same thing you did. For some reason I think "deuce" may be some kind of drug reference. I'm probably equally wrong about that as I was the lyrics.

[Jim Broyles]

Here's a cool misheard lyrics site. (http://www.amiright.com/misheard/)

[Andrew Ferguson]

"I'm a lonesome cowboy" - Like a Rhinestone Cowboy. This was mine from a wee boy. You'd think the title of the song might have given me some clues...

[allenhopkins]

Lyrics to the Louvins' Great Atomic Power:

There's an army who can conquer
All the enemy's great band
It's the regiment of Christians
Guided by the Savior's hand

When my kids, Dave and Pete, learned the song (from Uncle Tupelo, I believe), they looked up a lyrics transcription on the internet, and found that the transcriber had written "raging men of Christians" instead of the correct words. They were so taken by the mondagreen, that when they recorded their little relatives-only CD on Pete's iMac, they did it under the name "Raging Men of Christians."

[man dough nollij]

"Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche another roamer in the night"
I still don't know what the actual words are. I sure do hope those aren't the correct lyrics.



This will explain it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMiV5Ls_LVU).

[Landgrass]

"And why did I leave my cow in the field
And look for a job as a clown"

[jim simpson]

Blinded by the light:
I always believed "wrapped up like a deuce" to be a refference to a Chevy II hot rod.

[Patrick Bjorndal]

The book "A Monk Swimming" by the irish author Malachy McCourt. The Title is a mondegreen from the prayer Hail Mary: "...Blessed are you amongst women.."

Bertram

One of the most intersting books I have read. I highly recommend it.

[TEE]

"Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche another roamer in the night"
I still don't know what the actual words are. I sure do hope those aren't the correct lyrics.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinded_by_the_Light

Revved up like a deuce another runner in the night. The band that had a hit with it originally sang the lyrics wrong.

Originally written by Springsteen as Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night.

I still have no idea what it means.

[TEE]

Hey I found it- According to Springsteen a deuce is a 1932 Ford Hotrod. I found it in an interview with him.

[Bertram Henze]

Some song of the Pet Shop Boys: "...what have I done to deserve this" I used to hear as " what have I done to the service"

[kestrel]

What kids hear can be another thing altogether. Twenty-years ago, when my daughter was four, we were doing a tiresome night time drive from Maine to Vermont. She was getting tired of the usual long-drive songs like "The Wheels On The Bus", "Animal Fair"; etc., and as we were going through Dixville Notch, NH, she said: "Daddy, sing the one about Mrs. Dash throwing beans and peas on the wall". My wife and I racked our brains, trying to figure out, to no avail, what she was talking about. Some time later, one summer evening, we were sitting in the yard, I was noodling around on the guitar, and I started singing "Wabash Cannonball". "Listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar, as she 'dashes' through the woodland, and steals along the shore. She's a might rushing engine... as they ride the rods and 'brake-beams' of the Wabash Cannonball " Courtney came running across the yard "That's the one, daddy, that's the song". I said, "What song sweetie?" "That one about Mrs. Dash throwing beans and peas on the wall". Mystery solved.

And I couldn't figure that out, on a long drive, somewhere in the dark, in northern New Hampshire. Go figger.

Gene

[EdHanrahan]

How about the Christmas hynm, Silent Night?

John Carson once showed kids' drawings of the nativity scene. Besides the usual, one drawing included a large man who looked like Friar Tuck from the Robin Hood movies. When questioned, the child explained: "That's Round John Virgin."

[CES]

"There might be, a little dust on the Bible..." Dust on the Bottle, by David Lee Murphy, as heard by my wife's college roommate. A guy in FCA actually Weird Al-ed it to those lyrics (with some verse changes) with pretty impressive success.

Also, the first time I heard "Crash" by Dave Matthews band, when they sing, "Hike up your skirt a little more, and show your world to me" I heard, "Hike up your skirt little boy, and show your world to me." Almost wrecked my car, changed the station ASAP (had my daughter with me, and was just seriously creeped out), and had to look up the lyrics online as soon as I got to a computer...man, was I relieved; I like those guys' music and really didn't want to have to right them off as "dead to me" forever!! I still laugh every time I try to play that song on guitar.

If the above is too much for the site, please, moderators, delete delete delete, but it's a great example of how we sometimes just don't hear the correct stuff...can still hear my church's choir director growing up saying, Diction, boys, diction!!!!"

[Patrick Hull]

Okay, I'll really show my ignorance. I always thought it was "Michelle, my belle...." I think that's wrong, but still don't know what it really is. Sometimes we're just happier in our ignorance.

[journeybear]

Okay, I'll really show my ignorance. I always thought it was "Michelle, my belle...." I think that's wrong, but still don't know what it really is. Sometimes we're just happier in our ignorance.

It's "Michelle, ma belle," in keeping with the French-English theme.

1st verse: "These are words that go together well"

2nd verse: "Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble"

I think it's implied that if the serenader wishes to succeed in his wooing of la mademoiselle, he will improve his chances if he uses her language. :)

Be happy also in your knowledge! :grin:

[Jim Rowland]

A classic: In the Garden of Eden processed through a Jersey accent= In a gadda da vida.
Jim

[mandopete]

"And why did I leave my cow in the field
And look for a job as a clown"

LOL, I am so using this line next time this song comes up in a jam.

[Kip]

[QUOTE=CES;649677~snip Also, the first time I heard "Crash" by Dave Matthews band, when they sing, "Hike up your skirt a little more, and show your world to me" I heard, "Hike up your skirt little boy, and show your world to me." ~snip[/QUOTE]


I find both of those equally creepy!

My personal one- Grateful Dead's St. Stephen

"Been here so long he's got to calling it home"

I always heard as: "With hair so long he's got to comb it at home"

Down deep I knew it wasn't that but this was waaaaay before the internet!

[Dennis Ladd]

Got two:

As a kid I heard the Christmas carol words, "Round yon Virgin, mother and Child" as "Round young virgins." I had a picture of young girls with candles in their hands circling the manger.

And from the the Dillards "Old Home Place" I could never figure out what the "coof all night" was. I knew I was wrong but could not for the life of me hear "the cool fall nights." I've never admitted this to anyone so keep it to yourselves.

[journeybear]

This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Hope you're sitting down, so you don't fall over:

I don't know how to embed it.

If this doesn't work, go to the myspace page (http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=55105814)it came from, and share if you know how. The whole world should be watching! :)

[mandopete]

L.o.l.

:))

[BauerHaus]

A friend and I were listening to The Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden", right after it first came out, and he said "That song doesn't make any sense at all." I said "What do you mean?" He said "I'll never leave your pizza burning. That's stupid!!"

I kid you not.

Steve

[allenhopkins]

Supposedly a young boy in Sunday school was drawing a picture of the Nativity. Besides the usual characters -- Holy Family, shepherds, angels, wise men -- he drew a rotund figure standing off at one side. The teacher asked, "Who's that?" and the boy replied, "That's Round John Virgin."

[blawson]

And my own lyricosis when I was but a wee lad, to Kenny Roger's "Lucille".

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field.

I mistook as

With four hundred children and a croc in the field.

In retrospect, I should have known he was being a little too prolific. But, hey, with a crocodile waiting just outside, why not?

[lmartnla]

My 11 year old nephew interpreted the 1978 song "It's a Heartache" as "It's a Hard Egg"

Try these lyrics he was hearing:

It's a hard egg
Nothing but a hard egg

Hits you when it's too late
Hits you when you're down

It makes some sense, huh?

[journeybear]

My 11 year old nephew interpreted the 1978 song "It's a Heartache" as "It's a Hard Egg" ...

That is so WEIRD! Not an hour and a half ago I did the exact same thing, just teasing the singer in my band a little. She likes the song, we do it well, but I could really do without it, having heard it enough back then to last me the rest of my life. Why we're doing it in an ostensibly Cajun/bluegrss/country band is beyond me ... but she likes it, we do it well, etc ... Anyway, I wasn't paying much attention, and out of the corner of my ear it sounded like "it's a hard egg," so I started joshing her a little with that, and the bass player chimed in, "Well, it's a chick song!" :)) I had never thought of it before .. and here you are with this ... WEIRD! :disbelief:

[Tom Mullen]

How about the "One Ton Tomato" song? You...."Juan ate a one ton tomato"

My Mexican translation is lacking...........I think its supposed to be Guantanamero...........never could understand them foriners.........:))

[viv]

LOL all OVER the place!! these things are a scream!

my daughter's favorite hymn is "victory in jesus". when she first heard the song at the tender age of five, she'd sing and sing and sing it, over and over..... but instead of "He plunged me to victory beneath the cleansing flood..." she sang "He punched me in victory uneath the bleeding mud."

[man dough nollij]

Evenflow...

[man dough nollij]

Try that again: Evenflow... (http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNINw1wNdno&feature=related)

[Ivan Kelsall]

I bought a 'John Reischman & the Jaybirds' CD last year, & on playing it,not having read the track titles,i was amazed to hear them singing "Popeye my Lulu gal" - hmmmm !,weird title i thought.Of course it really was "Hop high my Lulu gal",but forever,it'll be 'Popeye' that brings a smile to my face. Ricky Skaggs sings a song, "Ridin'on that midnight train",in which he claims that 'my heads are hanging low' - how many does the guy have ??. It should be "my head's a hangin' low" - seems more fun the other way though,
Saska:))

[Ivan Kelsall]

Jim - That 'mis-heard lyrics site just about made me blow a gasket !! - Oh boy ! what a hoot,
Saska :))~:>

[Tim2723]

Our Father who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.
(Or sometimes Hollywood be thy name.)

[allenhopkins]

Land where my fathers died,
Land where the Pilgrims pried...

Perhaps an unexpected grain of truth...?

[AlanN]

Was In The Spring
One Summer Day...

[blawson]

Of course the all-time best (intentional) is Hartford's "The Lowest Pair" from Mark Twang.

[blacksmith]

I've got Meniere's Disease in one ear. About half of what i hear turns into a mondegreen.

[viv]

more from sarah grace.....

instead of "the farmes takes a wife..." (in "the farmer in the dell"), she sang "the farmer hates his wife."

[Ivan Kelsall]

This thread has just GOT to be one of the best ever - thank's for the laughs folks,
Saska :))

[B. T. Walker]

A previous boyfriend of my now ex-wife sang to her Bob Marley's classic "I Don't Want to Wait All Day For Your Love". He was impatient, but he waited in vain (that day, anyway). :grin:

[DGW1945]

And has anyone ever sung "Just a bowl of butterbeans, pass the cornbread if you please, I don't want no collard greens" when the rest of the congregation was singing "Just a Closer Walk With Thee"? (Sorry, but I never learned the rest of the verses because my Mama would slap the s##t of me first!)

[FLATROCK HILL]

As long as we're ressurrecting a 5 yr. old thread...I've got one:

One line in Gordon Lightfoot's song 'Early Morning Rain' is "I'm stuck here on the grass, with a pain that ever grows".
The last part of that line was misheard so commonly to be "where the pavement never grows", that it was recorded that way by more than a few subsequent singers, including Elvis.

I guess it ain't that funny, just true.

[John Lloyd]

Billy Joel's The Stranger has a line: 'When I pressed her for a reason she refused to even answer.'

What I heard, on first (half-) listening, was: 'When I dressed up as a weasel she refused to be the master.'

Don't even ask me how I got that. My speech processing has always been kinda iffy; I was always the kid they could count on to send a game of Telephone right off the rails, too. Oddly enough, I've usually found it easier to pick out sung words than spoken ones.

I still think there's some good potential in a reworking of that Billy Joel lyric, though.

[journeybear]

I do hope some of you have seen this. One of my favorite videos of all time.

T4_MsrsKzMM

I mean, really - who knows what the heck he was saying anyway? Of course, this is intentional mishearing - or is it? This is just one man's interpretation, and for all we know, he could have been right. Thing is, thanks to the power of suggestion, the captions really line up well, and now I can't listen to the song without thinking of this.

[CES]

Dave Matthews' "Crash" says, "hike up your skirt a little more, and show your world to me." First time I heard it, I heard,"hike up your skirt, little boy, and show your world to me." Thank God for album liners, or I would have never listened to those guys again...

[belbein]

I heard an interview with whoever sang that song that we all know as "Ena Gadda Davida". It wasn't a Jersey accent. He said they were all so totally blitzed (he used that inimitable hippy expression about being "really effed up, man") that he didn't have any control of his mouth. And to think of all the hours my friends and I spent trying to figure out what language it was!

[dang]

...or I would have never listened to those guys again...

You wouldn't have missed all that much ;)

[belbein]

I do hope some of you have seen this. One of my favorite videos of all time.

T4_MsrsKzMM.

OK, I'm sending this to all my Boomer/Stoner friends. It's awesome. Thank you thank you thank you. Though you know I will never be able to listen to this again without laughing and not being able to explain.

[journeybear]

Thanks. Sorry. Welcome to the club. ;)

[Polecat]

Journeybear, that's wicked, thanks very much!

Elvis Presley is reported to have said to Elton John when they were introduced "Ain't you the guy who wrote "Don't let your son go down on me"?"

[jim simpson]

Hold me closer Tony Danza

[Ellen T]

This has driven me nuts for years:

"I'll Be There For You (Theme From Friends)"

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but
I'll be there for you ...

I could swear they were singing "I'll sneak your mouth into your ear." Seriously. I've heard this damn song a bajillion times, and it's still "I'll sneak your mouth into your ear." And I have spooky good hearing.

[journeybear]

There's actually something else about this song that has bothered me for a long time. It's a possibly minor but nagging logical flaw in the songwriting, coincidentally in that same line. It seems to me that the periods of time are in the exact reverse order that they should be in. That is, the logical flow should be that, even though it hasn't been your year, it could still be your month; barring that, even though it hasn't been your month, it could still be your week; etc., but not the opposite way. It's the adverb "even" that mucks it up. I know, it's a small thing (and besides, I could be wrong), but little things mean a lot, especially in grammar.

Well, I had been hoping my 9000th post would be somehow grander, befitting such a milestone, however arbitrary. Oh well! :whistling:

[Ellen T]

On re-reading it (now that I know what the heck IT is), I think you're right. The "even" should, logically, apply to the minutest, most trivial time period to make sense. But I'm too busy staying permanently irritated at Jim Morrison's "for you and I," which effed up an otherwise great song for me. The Friends theme booboo is so minor next to that hangin' offense.

Congrats on your 9000th. Whoo boy, to think I got excited when I hit the 100 mark.

[journeybear]

Sort of a dubious achievement, that. Time possibly spent more productively otherwise, and all. Still, I do find formulating thoughts in this manner and communicating them to people who often know what the heck I'm talking, about - could actually be seen as productive, I suppose. ;)

Yes, mismatching cases in pronouns is a pet peeve of mine, too. I hear it all the time from newscasters, who really ought to know better. Weird Al's latest takes aim at such gaffes:

8Gv0H-vPoDc

[Pasha Alden]

Oh dear, we are really at this point of discussion. My husband is famous for getting lyrics wrong. Please do not ask me how he does it.

We once listened to "Message in a bottle" by the Police. The lyrics: "A year has passed since I wrote my note." My husband heard and sang loudly and proudly to me: "A year has passed since I broke my nose." Naturally it had me in fits of laughter.
The quote someone had of Elton John and Elvis? Absolutely hilarious and had me laughing out loud.