Adding a new member to a family band.

[hungry mountain boy]

I play mandolin and rhythm guitar in a family trio with my brother and sister.

We are considering asking a friend to join and making our sound more full.

Currently my brother plays banjo and guitar. We switch off on the guitar when the other is playing the lead on the banjo or mandolin. This only allows one lead instrument per song, neither of us pick guitar, we only do rhythm.

Any tips on how to try out a new member, he is on the same level of playing as us which is really intermediate. We play about half original songs, so there will be some degree of difficulty in learning the material versus playing old tunes that are more familiar.

He is a friend and we want to "try" him out and I am a bit worried about what would happen if it did not pan out as far as the friendship goes. Thanks for any tips. I realize this is broad, and I may not get any real answers, but thought I'd throw this out to see what happened. Thanks.

[hungry mountain boy]

By the way, he will be playing rhythm guitar and singing some lead.

A bit worried about telling him what to do, and how that will affect freindship and feelings.

[chip]

If your upfront about what your doing he should be ok with it. Have some fun and if it feels right you'll know and so will he.

[Andrew Lewis]

I agree with the upfront suggestion. It seems like that is usually the best course of action. From my personal experience, I feel like there are two good ways to approach this. You can take the "this is business approach" and try to keep the business and personal separate from the start. Being straight with him about this early is the key. You should be able to have that kind of honest conversation with a good friend. This has worked favorably for me in the past in a very similar situation to yours.

The other approach would be to just invite him to come over and just "jam" with you and your partner. Try to just let things progress from there without being formal about joining the band. That way, you can keep the business thing separate until you feel comfortable enough with the group dynamics to invite him to join the group more formally. This, too, has worked well for me in the past when the friend wasn't really cutting it. He recognized it as much as we did, so there were no hard feelings when we didn't pursue a professional relationship.

Which approach? I guess it just depends on your personalities and relationships and so on. You'll just have to read that as best as you can.

[jferg9]

HMB.....I really don't have the experience to offer bonafide "do this, don't do that experience" except for some really small town group dynamics but I think the points above re: being up front and honest are key to success in any group dynamics. People need to know where they stand and what is expected .....even within families. Be straight up with your friend and the rest will fall into place one way or another.
I like the jam session idea and here is another idea......you could invite the friend to join you for a gig...tell him you are looking for a fill in or a add in for a small gig and then you get to practice together to prepare for the gig and you can try him out on some of the home grown numbers as well as the traditional tunes. Just a thought.....

[Matt Hutchinson]

I agree, just get your friend over for a jam to see how you get on. Don't forget, it's also a chance for him to see if he's interested in joining your band too. If you leave it open then both parties have a chance to say 'thanks, but it's not quite right' without too many hard feelings.

Good luck with the band whichever route you take.

Matt

[Red Henry]

This is a familiar problem. In the old days, our own group (Red and Murphy & Co.) was a family band for years before we began using any band members who weren't Murphy's sisters. One thing we've done is to try potential band members out on an "occasional" basis-- hiring them for one or two particular gigs before deciding to take them on permanently. If the situation is a formal tryout, do have it up front, to begin with, that you might have to tell the person "no."

It's actually easier, I think, if at first you don't talk about taking them on on a permanent basis, but just ask them after you've tried them out a few times.

You might choose gigs where you'll need a larger band anyway, and take that opportunity to find out whether the new person really fits in in personality, rehearsals, and performance.

[8ch(pl)]

Personality is probably more important than ability. Musicians get better, personalities sometimes don't.

[bradeinhorn]

This is a familiar problem. In the old days, our own group (Red and Murphy & Co.) was a family band for years before we began using any band members who weren't Murphy's sisters. One thing we've done is to try potential band members out on an "occasional" basis-- hiring them for one or two particular gigs before deciding to take them on permanently. If the situation is a formal tryout, do have it up front, to begin with, that you might have to tell the person "no."

It's actually easier, I think, if at first you don't talk about taking them on on a permanent basis, but just ask them after you've tried them out a few times.

You might choose gigs where you'll need a larger band anyway, and take that opportunity to find out whether the new person really fits in in personality, rehearsals, and performance.
(the perfect answer)

[sully542]

Well you know his playing level, so you've played with him some and you are worried about future problems. As relationships deepen so do the problems. How well does he work through other relational problems? Those are the skills or habits he will bring with him. Does he have to have his own way? Can he work through sticky situations without getting upset? Is his work ethic similar to yours? You may already know, deep down, what the likely outcome is, since he is a more than an aquantance. Whatever you decide I hope it all works out for the good of your friendship & the band.
Keep us posted!

[Big Joe]

Also remember it is a business. You have to have th ability to be open and frank with each other about what you need and want from each other. You will eliminate a lot of frustration if you develop a really open environment. Sometimes saying "your harmony on that line sucked!" is really important to getting on with business. You have to develop a bit of thick skin (all members do) to save all the time and angst that can develop when there is a lack of freedom and openness. On the other hand, never be critical when it is not absolutely needed and praise a LOT more than gripe. You will develop a real environment where you can get a lot done is a reasonable time.

Ensuring personalities fit is far more important than his ability. He will learn whatever numbers you give him in a fair time but if he does not fit you will know pretty quickly and so will he. Have fun. This is always a great time for a band to stretch.

[MikeEdgerton]

The way we bring in new members is to have a dinner party and just jam with them. You find out really quick if it fits or it doesn't.

[hungry mountain boy]

Thanks everyone, some food for thought. Will let you know what happens. Were still just thinking about it, it may be a week or so before a decision. I guess first of all we need to set down and decide what we "expect" and then "lay it out" up front. This process may also help us know what we expect from each other and what we all see as far as the possibilities for our part-time semi-professionalish band. Thanks again.