Mandolin and dating [Archive] - Mandolin Cafe Forum

JeffD

Aug-07-2007, 9:45am

Now this is entirely from my own experience, and being a guy, in the US, I can only comment on that side of things. I encourage others, men and women, from where ever you are from, to comment on this.

When I was growing up, you could always get a date if you played guitar and sang James Taylor. Just something about it. One key exception was in and around the New England area, where it was likely you would meet women (girls) who played guitar and sang James Taylor.

In any event - it was my experience that girls had hardly any (almost no) interest in a mandolin player. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

And if I was playing with others, and one was a guitar player, girls would come up and ask him if he knew any James Taylor. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif

The only "successes" I had were when I participated in SCA events, where a bowl back mandolin was really cool, or in my string band (15 banjos, 2 mandolins, one tuba, straw hats, vests, great fun). There I met a lovely female banjo player, who apparently had had enough dating banjo players and wanted to "step up" http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif in the world.

Ahh well.

mandopete

Aug-07-2007, 9:50am

Could be worse, you be a clarinet player!

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Rik Dias

Aug-07-2007, 9:52am

And people say that "size is not what matters "... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

Aug-07-2007, 9:54am

Brady Smith

Aug-07-2007, 10:23am

A big fat wallet is what you want for successful dating. Then you can go ahead and play whatever you want - kazoo, spoons, or um, jugs. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
Now...that's funny! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

12 fret

Aug-07-2007, 10:38am

If you're looking for action, learn to play and sing "Just You" by Solas off the Another Day CD. It really get to women in a big way, much better than James Taylor

Ted Eschliman

Aug-07-2007, 10:44am

Banjo-mandolin. Known to pack the chick deterent of two instruments.

Steve Cantrell

Aug-07-2007, 10:51am

Aug-07-2007, 10:57am

Well, they say that people who tend to drive overtly gaudy and big cars and trucks are only doing so as a means of...compensation. If that carries over the the world of music, all I have to do is show them my mandolin. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
By that logic, I should probably take up the piccolo.

Bu dum pishhhh http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

johnwalser

Aug-07-2007, 11:05am

I play a banjo mandolin and I resent Ted's comments about it packing the chick deterrent of two instruments. When I start to play my banjo mandolin, women come running from all over. O.K., they've all got brooms in their hands, but they do come running!
John

JHo

Aug-07-2007, 11:09am

Better they come at you with brooms than clubs or frying pans. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

entau

Aug-07-2007, 11:12am

I'll have to admit - a lot of the "hippie" chics flock to those beadie eyed slack jawed banjo players -

but my freshwater octave mandolin - now there was a chic magnet-

my rigel g110 did help me out too -

basically - all you have to do is sing - ( which excludes me) and you are all set - I mean look at Mick Jaggar -

mandolooter

Aug-07-2007, 11:35am

Hey, I sell Chick Magnets on Ebay...buy a couple and keep them in your pocket, they work miracles!!!

Disclaimer: These have been know to attract the wrong type of women and some have had terrible experiences...YMMV
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

MagnoliaGrass

Aug-07-2007, 11:38am

What are you guys in it for anyway? I heard that Ron Thomason once said "I only started playing music to sleep with as many women as possible...", so you're apparently not alone in your musings.:p

Elliot Luber

Aug-07-2007, 11:50am

My wife hates my mandolin playing, but then again she hates my guitar playing too. The girls I met playing guitar back when I was single (if I can still remember) were not what I would term "keepers." The best chic magnet is a personality. Actually I met more girls in high school playing violin... because I was the only boy in the orchestra.

Rufus

Aug-07-2007, 11:52am

Interestingly, in the good ol' days, playing guitar never seemed to get me any dates (but then I didn't know any James Taylor and women-folk just didn't seem that into Rush http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif ) More recently, I've had a fair amount of women tell me they love the sound of the mandolin (without actually hearing *me* play it), but I'm married so it's a moot point. The main issue with the mando is its better in a group setting than as a solo instrument such as the guitar (IMO, of course).

Someone ask Chris Thile how many dates he gets.

JeffD

Aug-07-2007, 12:29pm

Oh I 100% understand that personality is key. The problem was, girls didn't perceive your personality at first. You had to "get their attention" and then get some personality out there real quick before they got bored and looked for that guitar player singing "Fire and Rain".

Luckily playing the mandolin was so much fun that I stuck with it, and used other techniques to be popular and attractive.

For example, I took engineering courses [what?]. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Interestingly enough, a generation before me, the guitar player had to be singing Neil Young to get any attention. So is it "Just You" by Solas that works now?

Patrick Bjorndal

Aug-07-2007, 12:52pm

I use to play in a pipe band. Started out playing bass drum till the point I could play bagpipes well enough to go "on Parade." Then, the "pub crawl" I was single/going through a divorce at the time. Playing bagpipes and wearing a kilt. Now that is chick magnet material. Oh the fun we had. And the questions as to "what is worn under a kilt." Hardest thing I ever learned to do was play the pipes, but it was worth it in the end.
Now it is mostly mando, octave and Zook for me.

Steve Ostrander

Aug-07-2007, 1:08pm

When I was a teenager I noticed that some of the ladies were attracted to the "tortured artist" types so I started playing the guitar. I would play 3 chords--the only ones I knew--and say, "I was thinking about you when I wrote this." Some of them even fell for it...

I can't comment on the mandolin because I just started playing last year, but my wife seems to like it...

jmcgann

Aug-07-2007, 1:23pm

I had some 'very happy' experiences as a mandolinist (to keep it G rated)...

Could be worse, you be a clarinet player!

And now that I am both, I am a combination of Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

Michael H Geimer

Aug-07-2007, 1:27pm

It was my playing my Mid-mo around the office that got my wife's attention. She saw it as a sign that I was playing music for the love of music, and not to be "cool".

If I had been playing guitar, she might have ignored it as just another "pick up line".

Elliot Luber

Aug-07-2007, 1:35pm

If you want to make great music get a mandolin. If you want to meet women, get a Golden Retriever. I can't tell you how many women stop their car to ask me about my dog when I'm walking it in the evening. I usually joke that she's the original high-maintenance blonde. I mentioned this phenomenon to my wife one day, and she now comes with us for walks. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

MASadict

Aug-07-2007, 1:40pm

Funny thing, but my wife hates the guitar (at least when I play it) and loves the mandolin... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

chinamando

Aug-07-2007, 2:11pm

Most of the time I feel like guitar players play guitar to be cool, while mandolin players play mandolin because they love the instrument.

KNP String Band Mando

Aug-07-2007, 2:37pm

Living in Pa, where there are not many mandolin players, and playin in a bluegrass band, at a college where no one likes bluegrass, I have acutally had great sucess meeting girls solely from playin the mandolin. Im a big guy(6'3'') and look ricdiculous with the mandolin standing on stage. They always ask if its a banjo, and that drives me nuts, but they always come talk to me after gigs, and it makes theother band members really TOed. I think the fact that they never have seen one, or someone that could play cool stuff helps too...anyone else with good luck?

JeffD

Aug-07-2007, 3:09pm

Most of the time I feel like guitar players play guitar to be cool, while mandolin players play mandolin because they love the instrument.
True enough. I wish, when I was growing up, that more girls had been that discerning.

Timbofood

Aug-07-2007, 3:34pm

I don't think I would say that "big guys look ridiculous" playing a mandolin, Could you look John Duffey in the face and say "You look like a dork?" (just a joke) I'm 6'2" and have been playing for years...The instrument has found me several "Dates" that turned into long term affairs. It's a decent girl grabber...played with "commitment"

Ken Berner

Aug-07-2007, 4:23pm

I suppose that when you are approached by a chick showing interest in your mandolin, you might ask her to guess which is your "G" string. If she even responds, at least she might have a sense of humor. I have had ladies ask about "that little thing you do" (meaning tremolo); the first time I nearly choked. Offer them lessons in Mandolin 101 and see how much attention you get.

clarksavage

Aug-07-2007, 4:44pm

Whoa, brings back memories. I have packed my 1926 Gibson A4 along with me since I was 18 (even backpacking and camping). It has brought me much good luck with some very fine women (and I am still an avid amateur at this....) I recall, especially fondly, one evening in Dana Point Harbor (SoCal), about 15 years ago. Recently engaged to my (now) wife, I played a few sets with some friends and I sat down at a table - then the bartender walks over to me with a drink and a napkin with a name and phone number, beautiful woman at the bar smiling and waving! Honest! It happened to me! (Never before, never since!) Shocked, I strolled over to thank her and we had a wonderful conversation about mandolins and life, and I told her that I was happily engaged but I was so very flattered by her attention. I will always remember that evening. All because of that ol' Gibson A4.

Clark

Ken Berner

Aug-07-2007, 4:50pm

Clark, I think you have the basis for a good country song! The ol' '26 Gibson A4, indeed.

jim_n_virginia

Aug-07-2007, 7:21pm

Man you guys who wimp out to your wives crack me up!

My wife used to hate MY mandolin playing and being the KING of MY castle I told her too bad I'm playing it whenever I want to and if she didn't like it that's TOUGH!

Now let's just say I can play anytime I want and buy as many mandolins as I want! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

DryBones

Aug-07-2007, 8:46pm

Man you guys who wimp out to your wives crack me up!

My wife used to hate MY mandolin playing and being the KING of MY castle I told her too bad I'm playing it whenever I want to and if she didn't like it that's TOUGH!

Now let's just say I can play anytime I want and buy as many mandolins as I want! # #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif
Brings to mind the Brad Paisley song "I'm Gonna Miss Her" http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Tom F

Aug-08-2007, 10:52am

So I walk out with the band, we were playing a local bar popular with the college crowd. The audience turns around for the band intro. I hear a very cute girl say with an unmistakable tone of repulsiveness, "ewww, look at that funny little guitar". Ouch.

JeffD

Aug-08-2007, 12:02pm

I hear a very cute girl say with an unmistakable tone of repulsiveness, "ewww, look at that funny little guitar". #
I could think of various comments I would wish I would have made, but in actuality I probably would have tried to crawl behind a speaker.

JeffD

Aug-08-2007, 12:08pm

I am disappointed we are not hearing from more women. I would be interested in "the rest of the story".

Mark Walker

Aug-08-2007, 12:17pm

I think guitars 'have it.' #When I was in high school, gals payed more attention to me because of my guitar than anything else. #James Taylor, Jim Croce and John Denver (Denver's 'This Old Guitar' was a favorite among female-types) worked for me.

(I was nearly the proverbial 98-lb weakling; 5'-7" when I graduated and a whopping 111 lbs dripping wet - it MUST have been the guitar...)

I play saxophone as well - and adult women think that is 'sexy' for some reason too - more so than when I play my mandolin.

Go figure! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

SternART

Aug-08-2007, 12:19pm

What do you expect if you only play the mando in the closet! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

JHo

Aug-08-2007, 12:26pm

I'd also be curious to hear the womens' take on men who play the mandolin, even though the ladies here at the Mandolin Cafe might be a little biased (in a good way).

swampstomper

Aug-09-2007, 1:28am

A major problem with attracting romantically-inclined admirers (let's be gender and orientation-neutral here!) with the mando is: either you are in a band with louder, more agressive instruments (OK, Mon did "OK" and Duffy was as agressive as they come, but most of us are overshadowed by a Mastertone) or you are singing solo to your intended, in which case the high range and low sustain of a mando just can't compare to what the guitar can deliver, especially in a typical male's vocal range (again, the same exceptions apply). Just try Conway's "Hello, Darlin'" with solo mando accompaniment and you will get my point...

Jack Roberts

Aug-09-2007, 12:22pm

If I were a young single guy, I'd concentrate on playing Bach solo pieces. Even on the mandolin these definitely attract women BETTER than James Taylor, but probably not as much as Bach on the guitar. What doesn't work is yodeling cowboy tunes while playing a banjolin.

JHo

Aug-09-2007, 12:55pm

I never tried yodeling cowboy tubes while playing a banjolin. Now there's one more reason not to try, not that I'm single anyway.

JeffD

Aug-09-2007, 10:54pm

What doesn't work is yodeling cowboy tunes while playing a banjolin.
I don't want to know how you know that.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

LateBloomer

Aug-10-2007, 6:41am

OK, a female point of view........ Mandolin players are hot! They are good looking, talented, intelligent and often humorous!

I have no stories of dating a mandolin player, as I have been married for sixteen years - and only discovered BG and mandolins about six years ago. But the guys here at the cafe are super - very knowledgable, friendly and funny! When I watch my favorite band I'm totally focused on the mandolin players. A solo on the banjo might be good from time to time - but a solo on the mandolin is AMAZING!

So guys, keep picking..... and know you have lots of secret admirers out there. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

Mark Walker

Aug-10-2007, 7:14am

What do you expect if you only play the mando in the closet! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Good point... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

But my mandolin playing is so bad... At least I have a beautiful mandolin!

Tracy Ballinger

Aug-10-2007, 8:39am

Another female point of view...

My brother is 5 years older than me, and learned to play guitar - self-taught. Let me just say that it was a painful experience for my ears, thus I never had the hots for any guitar player. Now, a guy who could SING - that was different! I've always grativated towards the vocal side of music. Now that I'm a little older and learning to play my own instrument, I can say that my perspective is this: I admire and appreciate anyone who has a genuine love for the instrument they play.

I have to agree with LateBloomer - the men of the Cafe are genuinely kind-hearted and wonderful individuals! My attention is also riveted to the mandolin player of the group I'm watching (although I also appreciate the other instrumentalists) because I know what it took for them to get where they are. I think if you're playing an instrument hoping to appear appealing to others... you've completely missed the boat!

Tracy

mandolooter

Aug-10-2007, 9:06am

[QUOTE]I think if you're playing an instrument hoping to appear appealing to others... you've completely missed the boat!

uh...yea...duh! Way more to me and my life than my mandolin. It isn't even a consideration when it comes to women....on the other hand those chick magnets in my pocket are simply amazing... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
Impress them with your charm & manners, and always keep em smiling! Straight outta Mom's mouth...she wouldn't steer me wrong!

Tracy Ballinger

Aug-10-2007, 9:23am

Impress them with your charm & manners, and always keep em smiling! Straight outta Mom's mouth...she wouldn't steer me wrong!
Your mom's a smart woman. Right on the money! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Tracy

hangblague

Aug-10-2007, 9:31am

ManjoMan

Aug-10-2007, 9:36am

All of the women that I ever dated with the exception of one, I met while play my "little guitar and singing like a girl" at a bluegrass show or festival. My wife, who I have been married to for twenty years, and I met at a bluegrass festival and I have been playing ever since with no arguments from her - even when MAS hit! The one thing she did say is that it wasn't the mandolin playing that got her attention. She said I was "cute". Well...twenty years ago, I was.

PaulD

Aug-10-2007, 9:54am

The main issue with the mando is its better in a group setting than as a solo instrument such as the guitar (IMO, of course).
So are you suggesting that if you're into the "group setting", so to speak, you're better off strutting your stuff with your mando? http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

I sucked so bad at dating that I don't think any amount of musical prowess would have gotten me a second date! I hated the "dating scene"... it sucks when you're introverted and insecure. Despite that, I'm currently married to a beautiful woman who is a fine mando player and I love her to death. What more could a guy want? I did meet her at a jam, so I guess playing mando had a small part in my getting that first date. We're not always on the same page musically but I've had some very enjoyable jamming and a few gigs with her (she's a fine singer too... I love to harmonize with her). It's incredible when you can share something as intimate as making music with someone you love.

pd

Ken Sager

Aug-10-2007, 10:08am

<snip>
It's incredible when you can share something as intimate as making music with someone you love.

pd
Most true post I've read in a long time. I'm lucky that way, myself.

Thanks Paul!

Best,
Ken

Jack Roberts

Aug-10-2007, 1:47pm

I spoke to the hottest babe I know (my wife) about this. She said, no, she doesn't think the mandolin is a babe magnet, and yes, guitar can be. (When I met her I played guitar, not mandolin yet.)

She slams doors shut when I yodel cowboy music, even without a banjolin.