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View Full Version : beautiful girl, a dark night, a dim street light



jeffshuniak
Apr-12-2004, 11:39am
I think I may have written my first real mandolin song. all inspired by a very corrupt , yet somehow such beautiful thing. (since I have a girlfriend )

friday night at my gig , the most beautiful girl ever approached me, talked about violin, she plays, and loves our music. she wanted to get together and jam and see how we play. now I am certainly not experienced in dating or reading signs, but I had a feeling this girl was paying a lot of attention to me..lots of eyes and a very inviting kind of vibe. now this girl is so hot I was totally attracted to the point that I was terrified. she mentioned "smoke" and I said well, Ok, lets go.. so I went to her apartment and we smoked and talked and played and everything was innocent and nice, and I went home with no more than a little hug good bye.

last night, enchanted thinking about this beautiful girl, nothing direct , personal, sexual or anything, just thinking about her in general, I sat on my doorstep and played until around 1 am, just imagining the beauty of this girl, the way I saw her dance, it was so inspiring, the darkness, the notes sounding off neighboring buildings, the dim street light.. I wrote a full scale italian -gypsy style song, a real one,,, you know, where the melody doesnt just fall on some convenient chord progression... that seems to be my usual curse, I write stupid stuff, it all falls into I-V or I-V and its so hard to break away from melodic convenience... but this song... I dont even know some of the chords yet... its nice, very fluid and free non repetitive melody.. I cant wait to record it...

of course, its inspired by my sinful attraction to this girl. so I feel like a real bad person, at the same time, I am very glad all this happened, because I wrote my own song, thats what I got out of it... I guess I am supposed to meet her tomorrow so she can learn some tunes

levin4now
Apr-12-2004, 7:58pm
good gracious sakes jeff. #I think I can imagine her quite well from your description! What did you call your new song? #"Wicked Path of Sin" is already taken you know! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif #Just kidding, of course. #Good thing that events stayed innocent, as you could have ended up with quite a long song! (but you probably wouldn't have been able to compose anything so quickly after that...)

All kidding aside, congratulations on your first composistion. Nice that your inspiration was such a positive experience!

MikeB
Apr-12-2004, 8:13pm
jeff, if you wake up in a week or two and the tune sucks, well, you won't be the first...or the last. #Play, buddy, play. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Seriously, I wonder how many really great songs have been composed to or for a beautiful woman? #LOTS, I would guess.

Bill James
Apr-13-2004, 7:54am
... I guess I am supposed to meet her tomorrow so she can learn some tunes


...he says non-chalantly, but inside...his heart is racing...

Make sure you get back with some details. You know, what songs you worked on, that kind of stuff #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

jeffshuniak
Apr-13-2004, 8:12am
jeff, if you wake up in a week or two and the tune sucks, well, you won't be the first...or the last. #
thats funny and true. #I have made stuff before, but it doenst "count" you know... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif # #I dont think one this will suck as bad... I hope..but it does , on closer inspection, fall into that ol I-V device.. but it takes many avenues to get there... #I usually dont have a genuine inspiration,, I just want to make something, which I often have guitar player syndrom (overplaying) focusing more on grammer and not enough on mood ..I hope this one is really good and I am not just buzzed from the girl. I put this real tragic twist in it... just to remember where it came from, you know.. something seems to be in me that has a flavor for the tragic, the appalling... I think thats why the whole thing has inspired me so much..

I am going to record it soon and hopefully encode it right.

onlyagibsonisgoodenuff
Apr-13-2004, 9:13am
Got a title for it yet? How about "Smitten on the Strings"?

jeffshuniak
Apr-13-2004, 11:18am
I dont know what to name it yet. probably just something cliche about a hot girl or something..

Tom C
Apr-13-2004, 11:24am
Don't let your girlfriend know what inspired you. -Or lie http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

jeffshuniak
Apr-13-2004, 11:49am
the name probably wont be in english... the girl is portuguese descent , so I am thinking of going that way with the title

Moose
Apr-13-2004, 12:42pm
Women will be women.., no matter what nationality. Took me many years to learn THAT. You may or may not know of The Louvin Brothers(Ira & Charlie). Ira is no longer with us, but Charlie told me Ira would write a song - they'd "put it together" - and many times if Ira didn't think it was any good..., he'd just "...throw it in the trash can." - I wonder how many and how much beautiful music - and words - Ira "threw in the trash can". Song writing is a God-given talent. I couldn't write a song if someone held a gun to my head ; hope it continues to come to you and "inspire" you. Good luck. Moose.: http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

MikeB
Apr-13-2004, 2:08pm
I'm trying to figure out just WHOM you are going to play that song for....I would suggest you not play it for your girlfriend (if she is, indeed, still your girlfriend), unless you title it something like, "This Friend of Mine Met a Portuguese Beauty." # And, if you play it for Miss Portuguese, you better be ready for SOMEthing...whether it sucks or not.

Jeff, without getting any of us in trouble (especially me), would you mind giving us a general idea how old you are--like say, over 25 or under 25. #That would be close enough, and might explain a lot here. #Some of us Geezers are getting a lot of smiles out of this thread. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Moose
Apr-13-2004, 2:30pm
Yeah buddy!! hee.. hee.. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

Bluegrasstjej
Apr-13-2004, 2:40pm
Wow, this sounds nice. I wish things like that could happen to me.

Moose
Apr-13-2004, 2:53pm
My dear jeffshuniak... ; please keep us "updated" - Remember..: PACE Yourself!! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

John Zimm
Apr-13-2004, 3:03pm
How about Jezebel for the title? Just kidding.

Yeah, that sounds great. I can only think of a time or two that something so sinful and desirable happened to me. Keep us updated.

-John.

Ken Sager
Apr-13-2004, 4:19pm
I once wrote an instrumental for a woman I had a brief, yet intense relationship with. I included her name and hair color (from the bottle) in the title, but unless you knew her you wouldn't have guessed it was a woman's name so I still use it today. It's called "Amber Sunset #22" and I wrote it 15 years ago(?!) and I'm going to record it on my next project. 15 years ago was a couple years before I was married, mind you. Anyway, it was one of a couple pieces I wrote without a musical instrument in sight. I composed the melody, harmony and chord structure all on paper without playing a note. Talk about an obsessive exercise...

Best,
Ken

mandoJeremy
Apr-13-2004, 8:42pm
I wonder how many tunes have been written after people "smoked"? http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif I know I have sure written my share in my younger days! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

jeffshuniak
Apr-20-2004, 7:26am
I am not sure whether I should have posted that or not, but I am finished with the song , not posted yet, but at least you will know where its "coming from". its different than the original, the opening melody uses a byzantine scale on the way up and its the changes get about differently, but still have the same essence. the directions change a lot more, there's a few parts where the emotion snapps in mid measure. I played it last friday night and had a great response with it (gig) and I played it to her yesterday and she loved it so much she even called me in the middle of the night still thinking about me and I couldnt sleep after. I am going to die. and surely go to hell, but this girl seems made for me. twisted. of course, maybe this is all "spring time" stuff, you know, maybe this girl just likes me because I am new, an in the end , maybe she wont ever come out to see me play either. or listen to me play or be a part of anything, as my girlfriend seems to hate and envy all my instruments.
funny thing everytime we hang out I write music afterwards, last night I started a more intense song, in a cubist key of D(Db superimposed) I think I will string all of these together, I think it will be neat having a neapolitan and gypsy first movement, go into a dissonant second piece, .... and I dont know. I suppose conclude it back on earth. the girl is nice , I am terrified, we both really like each other, and I have no idea where I am going.

I get the song up as soon as I can.

craig
Apr-20-2004, 1:15pm
jeff,

loving your honesty here! we've all been in those shoes before. fun to reminisce a bit.

looking forward to hearing the *new* version. sounds pretty complex . . .

Dru Lee Parsec
Apr-26-2004, 11:06am
Don't let your girlfriend know what inspired you. -Or lie http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
This reminds me of my favorite drinking toast:

"To our lovers and our sweethearts.
May they never meet."

jeffshuniak
Apr-27-2004, 6:57am
I broke up with my girlfriend and I am living with my parents for a few weeks until I can afford a new apartment. I cant even deal with the studio right now, but I have a live version on tape I am working on converting onto cd or whatever.....
on a pleasant note, my new girl and I hung out sunday night, actually we hang out all the time now, but sunday night was a nice mandolin night. I played on the beach, she dug her feet in the sand and laid back..she seems to really enjoy it. I like that. we had been in a park earlier, and some off duty cops yelled at us and we had to scram real fast, I lost my pick.. at the beach she ( I dont feel right posting her name right now) found me all sortsa shells to try and use. all of them were akward, but I was flattered by her effort. finally , one of them, real tiny, smaller than I use, was acceptable.. it sounded good too..real bright, makes me think..I kept the shell, #romantic you know. I hate to seem like to total selfish jerk..like my ex thinks...I really like this new girl, I would hang out and be her friend..something my exgirlfriend would have never dealt with.

Bobbie Dier
Apr-27-2004, 3:02pm
Jeffshuniak,
I'm glad you went for the other girl(musician girl). I hope you don't feel too bad for your breakup after all she was your girlfriend and not your wife. That would have been a different story. Good luck to you. You sound like you are in luuuuuuv.
If you stay with this girl for a while you'll probably find you did the right thing. Family vacations, outings can all be a bummer if your not in tune with the person you are with. Cell mate or soul mate?? I'd pick soul mate any day.
ima

mandodude
Apr-27-2004, 3:18pm
...I included her name and hair color (from the bottle) in the title, but unless you knew her you wouldn't have guessed it was a woman's name so I still use it today. It's called "Amber Sunset #22"...
Ken,

WHOA!! What a coincidence!!

I used to date a girl named #22 too!!

How cool is that!!



;-)

Michael H Geimer
Apr-27-2004, 4:00pm
I've still got a crush #86!

Moose
Apr-28-2004, 9:30am
Yeah!!.. - I remember ole' "22" from my daze" working the Baltimore(MD) clubs... real nice chick - 'till she got "overserved'... then she'd get real nasty.. Ah!!... those memories.. hee.. hee.. Carry on. Moose. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

jeffshuniak
Apr-29-2004, 10:26am
she's 22 yrs old.... if that counts as a #22http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif # I really wish I could get into the studio and record... but the "studio" is a friend's storage garage packed full of electronics and recording equip... but you can see from the misc musings , that the quality comes out ok... we use cooledit... but my friend is "mad" at me right now, mad like a girl gets. I blew him off to hang with my new girl... isnt that expected? I would be mad if my friends hung out with me -INSTEAD of a girl..jeez, I may be half greek, but come on... I dont love my friends that much..so I have to wait for him to come around....

Billy Mack
Apr-30-2004, 7:27am
I would spend some more time with your new girl and come up with some more great music. Then patch things up with your friend at his recording studio - so we can all here.

I once saw this movie 'Red Violin' where this guy wrote some nice fiddle music.. nevermind

John Zimm
Apr-30-2004, 8:44am
It seems like a great decision Jeff. Music is such an important part of who we are, and if you have found someone who likes it, you've got a good connection. I am sure many of us who are married envy a little bit the spot you are in. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

-John.

jeffshuniak
Apr-30-2004, 9:57am
I figure even if it doesnt go anywhere, oh well, my last relationship wasnt either.. so .. nothing lost.. actually more memories gained... she's real fun..and hot..hope I
meet more girls like her if this doenst last. three years with a conservative girlfriend, I am ready to commit serious sins.

BenE
Apr-30-2004, 10:19am
I am ready to commit serious sins.

Sounds like a great bluegrass song!

The quote at the bottom of my post is by Ed Abbey...Sums it up pretty good!

sailaway
May-01-2004, 5:57am
Hey Jeff--When you get ready to 'name that song, ' let me know and I will consult my portuguese-speaking brazilian friends so you can get your song title in portuguese to really impress her. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif