Mandolin Cafe Time Wasters

Don't blame us. You didn't arrive here by accident, and you didn't come here to be educated. You're here to waste time and be entertained! Presenting in one glorious spot, a plethora of resources designed to waste your time away.

Mandolin Themed Crossword Puzzle

For crossword puzzle workers, your mandolin themed version has arrived.

Mandolin Crossword Puzzle


Favorite Mandolin Cafe SpoofsBest of the Mandolin Cafe spoofs. Just what you think it might be.

From Bass Pro mandolins to Mandolin For Dummies to the real definition of evolution (and hey, we're based in Kansas and you know what that means), we have all that is, well, designed to waste your time.

Includes American Gothic, the Mandolin version (pictures at left).

>> Get there.

Random Bad Bluegrass Band Namer

Some bluegrass bands don't have, or simply don't want a cool band name. You know the type. Pile into the station wagon on Friday after work and drive like hell to a festival. Change into stage outfits in the Johnny-On-the-Spot and stay up all night jamming. That's my kind of band!

Best of Mandolin Cafe Haiku

Haiku, the poetry of 5-7-5 syllables (some mandolin players can count) is a source of endless entertainment on the Cafe message board.

Kentucky's blue son
fire bound in the wooden tone
hear Uncle Pen call

Sampras on the tube
Sam Bush on the stereo
Advantage: Mando

Monroe's aged hands
Caress the sweet work of art
Like father and child

>> See the best
>> See the rest

Mandolin Postcards From The Past

Around the turn of the century a number of European companies produced postcards with mandolin themes. Women and children were the most popular models.

The Mandolin Cafe collection reproduced here is simply for your viewing pleasure. Most of these contain dates between 1900 and 1920.

All images in this collection are from postcards owned by the Mandolin Cafe.

>> Take the tour.

Homer & Jethro Cornfucius Jokes

As bad as you may imagine. Politically incorrect jokes from the 60s and a crazy guitar and mandolin player.

Friend: "I hear your wife stopped wearing glasses. How does she look?"
Cornfucius: "About the same, only harder."

Friend: "How'd you like that date I dug up for you the other night?"
Cornfucius: "So that's how you found her!"

Professor: "Name two pronouns."
Cornfucius: "Who? Me?"
Professor: "Right."

>> See the rest.

Are You A Bluegrass Redneck?

If your child or pet is named Earl, Lester, Ralph or Carter, you might understand... or not.

>> See for yourself.

Mandolin Wallpaper

Someone had to do it.

>> See it.

Virtual Visit to Bill Monroe's Grave

>> Visit Bill Monroe's grave.

The Last Page On The Internet

>> If only...