On stage anxiety - Page 2

Doug Hoople · 04-01-2009, 10:55 AM

Experience, prep, relaxation, etc. are all good things, and all will help to improve the ability to play freely onstage.

But the inability to play onstage is often tied to the inability to stay in the music, and that's a matter of being able to direct your focus.

Kenny Werner's 'Effortless Mastery' covers a lot of this ground in detail.

But here's a quick diagnostic. Try meditating. Yes, meditating. Most meditation practices work by focusing attention on something... breathing, a mantra, a blank slate. And the trick is to stay focused while concious thoughts arrive. If you're meditating, and you find yourself wrapped up in your newly arrived concious thoughts instead of your original point of focus, then there's a very good chance that you'll also fail to play well in public. If your concious thoughts arrive, and you can let them drift off without engagement, and, at the same time, stay tuned to the original point of focus, there's a very good chance that you'll be able to play well in public.

So that's the diagnostic. Meditation will also be the technique that, with practice and over time, will improve your ability to stay focused and ignore the distractions.

One other thing to try... do you have a bongo board? You know, one of those boards that balances on a cylinder? You might want to play your beater and not your Loar for this. Can you play your music and stay balanced on the bongo board? If you can, there's a good chance you can fight off your stage distractions.

Alex Orr · 04-01-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeEdgerton

Losing one's inhibitions is a hard thing to do but it can be done. Generally it comes with more experience on stage. When it gets to be second nature and you actually are able to relax it's a lot more fun.

Agreed. Try to play out more often, but do it in places where there is no stress. Have you tried busking? How about open mics? In both cases you may have a small audience that really isn't listening very close, or particularly cares what you sound like. If it's like a lot of open mic nights that I've been at then the audience is probably at the place for some coffee or beers and basically is tolerating the performers rather than paying attention to them. The point is, these are great places to just get used to being on stage because there is absolutely no reason to feel any pressure. If you can get used to being on the stage in a place like this then when you have an actual gig that may mean something, the stage may be more comfortable for you, leaving you more relaxed.

The funny thing is, I actually feel more stress at the local jam I go to than I have the last few times I've been on a stage. Me and a couple of buddies have played at the same bar a few times now and I feel fine because I know folks aren't too critical and they aren't really paying us a lot of attention. At the jam, the folks are gooood, they know what it sounds like when someone is flubbing a break or is singing way off-key, they know when I've lost my place in a song I'm trying to lead. They're forgiving, but still, the fact that they're all listeing closely, are better than me, and are all fellow pickers makes me far more nervous than playing in front of a crowd of generally good natured folks who are half-drunk and fairly uncritical.

mandroid · 04-01-2009, 12:07 PM

I'd feel better with the fee in my pocket before starting, myself.

Don Grieser · 04-01-2009, 12:38 PM

One breathing exercise that helps is to breathe out twice as long as you breathe in. The fear/flight physiological reaction is to breathe shallow short breaths. By breathing out for twice as long as you breathe in, you trigger the relaxed physiological reaction. Take 5 or 10 minutes before you hit the stage and do this and continue it through the first few songs. Any time the anxiety starts appearing, restart the pattern. Easy to do while playing rhythm to keep you in a good state.

There's a great book called "The Inner Game of Music" done by the same guy who did the sports books. It has some great exercises and really explains what is happening mentally/physically that impedes your playing.

www.theinnergame.com/html/Inner_Music_home.html

BradyK · 04-01-2009, 12:44 PM

Hey Chris -

This is a less than scientific approach, and may sound silly, but have you tried chewing bubble gum while you play?

I did hundreds of shows playing in a rock band and would tense up in front of a crowd, too. Then I tried bubblegum in rehearsal one day and it relaxed me some. Intrigued, I tried chewing at our next show and I was much, much more relaxed. I would seem occupied with the gum in my mouth rather than my playing. I relied on it so much that I would not play without a pack of Bubble Yum, original flavor. My gig bag still smells of the stash I kept. I'd blow bubbles during guitar solos and people thought I was completely at ease with the instrument. They were impressed and they would comment. Little did they know...! Try some gum.

Also, remember that most people don't know much about the performance of music and won't notice most of your mistakes. I always figured maybe one out of ten people in the crowd were musicians. The odds are in our favor as performers.

Good luck.

Nolan · 04-01-2009, 01:23 PM

Force your shoulders to point to the ground...
Play lots of shows, it will get better.
Like other people have sad, I just come to the understanding that I am going to make mistakes... and there's no such thing as a perfect show. Another thing that works is to just pretend that you're a hired gun that they just flew in to play a show. It's just another job in the never ending string of gigs and you're just doing it for the money.. and once the gig is over you'll never see these people again.

I'm not a fan of beta blockers... I have friends that take them and they can't play a show unless they have them.

thirdstation · 04-01-2009, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradyK

Hey Chris -

This is a less than scientific approach, and may sound silly, but have you tried chewing bubble gum while you play?

This made me laugh. I couldn't help picturing the guitar greats blowing bubbles mid-shred. I think I'll try it :-)

mandopete · 04-01-2009, 08:09 PM

I once took Alpha Beta blockers and I found I couldn't go grocery shopping for a week!

<sorry>

The thing is just to try to feel comfortable wih what you're doing. I find that often times we do one thing in rehearsal and then a totally different thng when we perform. Try to practice as though you are performing and in that way it won't be so much of a surprise.

mandolirius · 04-02-2009, 03:33 AM

<Agreed. Try to play out more often, but do it in places where there is no stress. Have you tried busking? How about open mics? In both cases you may have a small audience that really isn't listening very close, or particularly cares what you sound like. If it's like a lot of open mic nights that I've been at then the audience is probably at the place for some coffee or beers and basically is tolerating the performers rather than paying attention to them. The point is, these are great places to just get used to being on stage because there is absolutely no reason to feel any pressure. If you can get used to being on the stage in a place like this then when you have an actual gig that may mean something, the stage may be more comfortable for you, leaving you more relaxed.>

This is very good advice, imho. Long-term care hospitals and seniors homes are also good bets for low stress gigs.

Bertram Henze · 04-02-2009, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandolirius

Long-term care hospitals and seniors homes are also good bets for low stress gigs.

I cannot confirm this. One of my worst gigs ever was in front of approx. 50 coma patients in wheelchairs, all intubated and breathing loudly. Creepy. I had a distinct feeling that they hated the music but had been forced to hear it with no chance to run away - I might have been imagining it, but they were not a responsive audience, that's for sure. It felt like that Michael Jackson video of "Thriller".

Bertram

mandolirius · 04-02-2009, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bertram Henze

I cannot confirm this. One of my worst gigs ever was in front of approx. 50 coma patients in wheelchairs, all intubated and breathing loudly. Creepy. I had a distinct feeling that they hated the music but had been forced to hear it with no chance to run away - I might have been imagining it, but they were not a responsive audience, that's for sure. It felt like that Michael Jackson video of "Thriller".

Bertram

But were you nervous?

Seriously, you can always do a bit of research...talk to someone to find out if they have musicians come in on a regular basis, what the response has been etc. I've had some great times playing for seniors. Once my partner and I played a seniors home in Calgary. One of the residents came up to us afterwards and said how much he like the music and that we should meet his son, who was really into banjos. We took the number, with no real plans to use it. But it was a two-week stint in a little town in Southern Alberta and by the second week we were so bored during the day that we called. It turned out that the son was a very warm, friendly, generous guy. He insisted we come over for dinner that night. We met his wife and lovely family, had a fabulous home-cooked meal saw an incredible collection of mostly old, open-back banjos and made a life-long friend. So, you never know.

Ken Sager · 04-02-2009, 02:39 PM

Vitamin B and Mandozilla's tips on page 1.

ksmandocat · 04-02-2009, 03:14 PM

Since playing in a band since last June, one thing that keeps me more relaxed on stage is knowing that the rest of the band is there to keep the overall song going even if I mess up. Also know that the audience is there to enjoy the music you got to offer and not to find fault with you (generally).

banjoboy · 04-02-2009, 03:30 PM

You are experiencing the ol' "flight or fright" issue. Since your stuck on stage, there's no running away. I used to have problems, but my doctor prescribed beta blockers. They don't make you feel funny, fuzzy, or different in any way. Used to be that if I made a mistake on a song, it would ruin the rest of my set. Now if I make a mistake, I don't care...I just move on. Good luck.

mandolinplucker · 04-02-2009, 10:14 PM

We aren't pros. We play local opreys, church functions, rest homes ect. When I first started playing in front of people my hands shook so much I could barely play and my voice got so shakey singing was out of the question. The audience is there to look at me but what I started doing was to look at them. They seem to like the eye contact. I find them entertaining too. I check out the pretty ladies, catch folks picking their nose or digging in their ears or scratching various places. A couple of times I have been so distracted that I missed the lead in for my break. We don't make any money so It is all in fun. Remember that most of the audience don't know when you screw up. The only ones that knows are musicians too and they have blown a lead or two themselves. Like others have said, Find a way to make it fun. Part of the fun and a reduction of pressure is the fact that we all have affection for each other and enjoy playing together. We laugh at mistakes and jump in to take up the slack if someone blows his break, or forgets a verse.

yoshka · 04-03-2009, 12:35 AM

A few things that have helped me (suggested by folks here to me):

Practice as if you are on stage, in front of a mic on a stand.

Have someone video you and watch it.

I just played an open mic and I know I messed up a few times. Watching myself on film, I can say: all in all the performance came off really good, and the mistakes, taken as a part of the whole, were a very small part of the whole song. The audience enjoyed the songs, the mistakes didn't take anything away from the good experience they (and I) had. Understanding that lowers the anxiety level. In addition, watching yourself allows you to make an assessment of the whole, to make improvements (slower, faster, louder, more changes etc.) and that will give you more confidence. You"ll be pleasantly surprised watching the film, and anxious to get up there again with the changes you have decided to make.

Yossi

Bertram Henze · 04-03-2009, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yoshka

Have someone video you and watch it.

Yes, that's good training. What worked even better for me was to do the recording myself, alone with the cold oblivious eye of the camera - no audience can be more cruel than that; because behind the camera, eventually, lurks your worst critic ever: yourself.
When you reach the point where your hand no longer trembles when pressing the Record button, you're ready to be easy with any audience who'd care to hear you.

Bertram

Bertram Henze · 04-03-2009, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandolirius

But were you nervous?

My throat was as close as if someone strangled me. My voice was hoarse and high-pitched, far from my normal bariton. My hands were shaking.

Was I nervous? If those are symptoms of nervousness, then I guess I was.

I am a bit susceptible to strange situations, maybe more than average. The music I play is supposed to spread a sense of comforting, reassuring normality, which just didn't fit that environment.

I am quite sure your senior home example was different - good on you.

Bertram

mandolirius · 04-03-2009, 03:25 AM

<I am a bit susceptible to strange situations, maybe more than average. The music I play is supposed to spread a sense of comforting, reassuring normality, which just didn't fit that environment.>

Now I'm curious. What kind of stuff do you do, Bertram?

Bertram Henze · 04-03-2009, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandolirius

Now I'm curious. What kind of stuff do you do, Bertram?

Glad you didn't ask "what kind of stuff do you smoke?"

But no, I am doing just normal ITM + Irish/Scottish songs (you can hear much of that on my website http://www.hologence.de). Anyway, nothing to justify curiosity, but hard to do when the demons close in on you.

Bertram

Dan Johnson · 04-03-2009, 06:24 AM

if you're not nervous maybe you don't care... give yourself a break!

craig.collas · 04-03-2009, 07:24 AM

Hi Chris
I would like to back up what Don said about 'the inner game of music'. For me this book threw light on what was going on in my head and from a point understanding (not much)I found I had leverage and could think about what was happening.
Have a great dat
Grace & Peace

Jerry Haynes · 04-03-2009, 03:04 PM

Chris, Try your best to keep it fun ! We all make mistakes, make those mistakes fun. I really messed up in front of a crowd of 3000 or so, afterwards I walked up to the mic and said " folks.. you just witnessed the worst mandolin brake possible , and I really struggled to make it sound as good as it did , thanks for being here to hear it " They laughed, I laughed, and we went on. Don't worry about... " is there someone out there in the audience a better picker than me ", because there usually is. They will make their share of mistakes too. Hope this helps ya out. Jerry

OldSausage · 04-04-2009, 12:07 AM

I don't believe it's the performer's mistaken ideas of what the audience might be thinking that causes the problem. There's a visceral physical reaction for most people when they stand in front of a crowd who are looking at them, as well there might be. Your body starts pumping round chemicals that prepare you to run, affect your brain and reduce your fine control mechanisms. No doubt that is why a certain amount of goofy behavior can help performers - it lets you exercise out some of the escape response that's been triggered. Laughter is really good at helping you get rid of the effects of these chemicals.

8ch(pl) · 04-04-2009, 05:03 AM

I started performing publicly about 8 years ago. I was Ok as a player, but was really nervous. I had a feud with a keyboard player in the song circle because he could not keep the volume down on his instrument, to a point that I could not hear my mandolin. He also could not get the idea oof not accompanying every song. I left because of it. It was throwing me off.

Now that I am more confident, I am in a group with this same fellow. It is smaller and he does back off when asked, but now he is playing guitar with some of my singing and playing. He is really good. Because there are only 5 of us, (when everyone shows)we are more able to balance the sound. I have told him that I need to hear the chords while I sing and it is all OK so far.

Nervousness is normal and should pass with confidence. When other musicians tell you that they like your efforts, it will boost things.

04-01-2009, 10:55 AM	#26
Doug Hoople Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Wellington, NZ Posts: 877	Re: On stage anxiety Experience, prep, relaxation, etc. are all good things, and all will help to improve the ability to play freely onstage. But the inability to play onstage is often tied to the inability to stay in the music, and that's a matter of being able to direct your focus. Kenny Werner's 'Effortless Mastery' covers a lot of this ground in detail. But here's a quick diagnostic. Try meditating. Yes, meditating. Most meditation practices work by focusing attention on something... breathing, a mantra, a blank slate. And the trick is to stay focused while concious thoughts arrive. If you're meditating, and you find yourself wrapped up in your newly arrived concious thoughts instead of your original point of focus, then there's a very good chance that you'll also fail to play well in public. If your concious thoughts arrive, and you can let them drift off without engagement, and, at the same time, stay tuned to the original point of focus, there's a very good chance that you'll be able to play well in public. So that's the diagnostic. Meditation will also be the technique that, with practice and over time, will improve your ability to stay focused and ignore the distractions. One other thing to try... do you have a bongo board? You know, one of those boards that balances on a cylinder? You might want to play your beater and not your Loar for this. Can you play your music and stay balanced on the bongo board? If you can, there's a good chance you can fight off your stage distractions. __________________ Doug Hoople Adult-onset Instrumentalist (or was that addled-onset?)

04-01-2009, 12:07 PM	#28
mandroid coprolite Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Outer Spiral Arm, of Galaxy Posts: 7,052	Re: On stage anxiety I'd feel better with the fee in my pocket before starting, myself. __________________ mandolin wanker writing about music is like dancing, about architecture

04-01-2009, 12:38 PM	#29
Don Grieser Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Pine Hill, New Mexico Posts: 883	Re: On stage anxiety One breathing exercise that helps is to breathe out twice as long as you breathe in. The fear/flight physiological reaction is to breathe shallow short breaths. By breathing out for twice as long as you breathe in, you trigger the relaxed physiological reaction. Take 5 or 10 minutes before you hit the stage and do this and continue it through the first few songs. Any time the anxiety starts appearing, restart the pattern. Easy to do while playing rhythm to keep you in a good state. There's a great book called "The Inner Game of Music" done by the same guy who did the sports books. It has some great exercises and really explains what is happening mentally/physically that impedes your playing. www.theinnergame.com/html/Inner_Music_home.html

04-01-2009, 12:44 PM	#30
BradyK Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 6	Re: On stage anxiety Hey Chris - This is a less than scientific approach, and may sound silly, but have you tried chewing bubble gum while you play? I did hundreds of shows playing in a rock band and would tense up in front of a crowd, too. Then I tried bubblegum in rehearsal one day and it relaxed me some. Intrigued, I tried chewing at our next show and I was much, much more relaxed. I would seem occupied with the gum in my mouth rather than my playing. I relied on it so much that I would not play without a pack of Bubble Yum, original flavor. My gig bag still smells of the stash I kept. I'd blow bubbles during guitar solos and people thought I was completely at ease with the instrument. They were impressed and they would comment. Little did they know...! Try some gum. Also, remember that most people don't know much about the performance of music and won't notice most of your mistakes. I always figured maybe one out of ten people in the crowd were musicians. The odds are in our favor as performers. Good luck.

04-01-2009, 01:23 PM	#31
Nolan Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Washington state Posts: 809	Re: On stage anxiety Force your shoulders to point to the ground... Play lots of shows, it will get better. Like other people have sad, I just come to the understanding that I am going to make mistakes... and there's no such thing as a perfect show. Another thing that works is to just pretend that you're a hired gun that they just flew in to play a show. It's just another job in the never ending string of gigs and you're just doing it for the money.. and once the gig is over you'll never see these people again. I'm not a fan of beta blockers... I have friends that take them and they can't play a show unless they have them. __________________ Never go to a second location with banjo a player

04-01-2009, 08:09 PM	#33
mandopete Registered Mandolin User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Coffee Town USA Posts: 5,900	Re: On stage anxiety I once took Alpha Beta blockers and I found I couldn't go grocery shopping for a week! <sorry> The thing is just to try to feel comfortable wih what you're doing. I find that often times we do one thing in rehearsal and then a totally different thng when we perform. Try to practice as though you are performing and in that way it won't be so much of a surprise. __________________ Check out our website at http://www.staytunedbluegrass.com

04-02-2009, 03:33 AM	#34
mandolirius Registered User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: victoria, canada Posts: 1,636	Re: On stage anxiety <Agreed. Try to play out more often, but do it in places where there is no stress. Have you tried busking? How about open mics? In both cases you may have a small audience that really isn't listening very close, or particularly cares what you sound like. If it's like a lot of open mic nights that I've been at then the audience is probably at the place for some coffee or beers and basically is tolerating the performers rather than paying attention to them. The point is, these are great places to just get used to being on stage because there is absolutely no reason to feel any pressure. If you can get used to being on the stage in a place like this then when you have an actual gig that may mean something, the stage may be more comfortable for you, leaving you more relaxed.> This is very good advice, imho. Long-term care hospitals and seniors homes are also good bets for low stress gigs.

04-02-2009, 02:39 PM	#37
Ken Sager 8 Fingers, 2 Thumbs Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,792	Re: On stage anxiety Vitamin B and Mandozilla's tips on page 1. __________________ Less talk, more pick.

04-02-2009, 03:14 PM	#38
ksmandocat Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Kansas Posts: 261	Re: On stage anxiety Since playing in a band since last June, one thing that keeps me more relaxed on stage is knowing that the rest of the band is there to keep the overall song going even if I mess up. Also know that the audience is there to enjoy the music you got to offer and not to find fault with you (generally). __________________ Dave

04-02-2009, 03:30 PM	#39
banjoboy Registered User Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 88	Re: On stage anxiety You are experiencing the ol' "flight or fright" issue. Since your stuck on stage, there's no running away. I used to have problems, but my doctor prescribed beta blockers. They don't make you feel funny, fuzzy, or different in any way. Used to be that if I made a mistake on a song, it would ruin the rest of my set. Now if I make a mistake, I don't care...I just move on. Good luck.

04-02-2009, 10:14 PM	#40
mandolinplucker Tony Bare Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Lizella Ga Posts: 395	Re: On stage anxiety We aren't pros. We play local opreys, church functions, rest homes ect. When I first started playing in front of people my hands shook so much I could barely play and my voice got so shakey singing was out of the question. The audience is there to look at me but what I started doing was to look at them. They seem to like the eye contact. I find them entertaining too. I check out the pretty ladies, catch folks picking their nose or digging in their ears or scratching various places. A couple of times I have been so distracted that I missed the lead in for my break. We don't make any money so It is all in fun. Remember that most of the audience don't know when you screw up. The only ones that knows are musicians too and they have blown a lead or two themselves. Like others have said, Find a way to make it fun. Part of the fun and a reduction of pressure is the fact that we all have affection for each other and enjoy playing together. We laugh at mistakes and jump in to take up the slack if someone blows his break, or forgets a verse. __________________ Tony Bare

04-03-2009, 12:35 AM	#41
yoshka Yossi Katz Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lower Galilee, Israel Posts: 108	Re: On stage anxiety A few things that have helped me (suggested by folks here to me): Practice as if you are on stage, in front of a mic on a stand. Have someone video you and watch it. I just played an open mic and I know I messed up a few times. Watching myself on film, I can say: all in all the performance came off really good, and the mistakes, taken as a part of the whole, were a very small part of the whole song. The audience enjoyed the songs, the mistakes didn't take anything away from the good experience they (and I) had. Understanding that lowers the anxiety level. In addition, watching yourself allows you to make an assessment of the whole, to make improvements (slower, faster, louder, more changes etc.) and that will give you more confidence. You"ll be pleasantly surprised watching the film, and anxious to get up there again with the changes you have decided to make. Yossi __________________ "Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every man" Ethics of the Fathers

04-03-2009, 03:25 AM	#44
mandolirius Registered User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: victoria, canada Posts: 1,636	Re: On stage anxiety <I am a bit susceptible to strange situations, maybe more than average. The music I play is supposed to spread a sense of comforting, reassuring normality, which just didn't fit that environment.> Now I'm curious. What kind of stuff do you do, Bertram?

04-03-2009, 06:24 AM	#46
Dan Johnson Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Albany, NY Posts: 143	Re: On stage anxiety if you're not nervous maybe you don't care... give yourself a break! __________________ Wish I was at Ashokan! www.myspace.com/squidjohnson

04-03-2009, 07:24 AM	#47
craig.collas Registered User Join Date: May 2007 Location: western#Australia Posts: 72	Re: On stage anxiety Hi Chris I would like to back up what Don said about 'the inner game of music'. For me this book threw light on what was going on in my head and from a point understanding (not much)I found I had leverage and could think about what was happening. Have a great dat Grace & Peace __________________ Craig

04-03-2009, 03:04 PM	#48
Jerry Haynes Registered User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Harlan, Kentucky Posts: 150	Re: On stage anxiety Chris, Try your best to keep it fun ! We all make mistakes, make those mistakes fun. I really messed up in front of a crowd of 3000 or so, afterwards I walked up to the mic and said " folks.. you just witnessed the worst mandolin brake possible , and I really struggled to make it sound as good as it did , thanks for being here to hear it " They laughed, I laughed, and we went on. Don't worry about... " is there someone out there in the audience a better picker than me ", because there usually is. They will make their share of mistakes too. Hope this helps ya out. Jerry

04-04-2009, 12:07 AM	#49
OldSausage David Mold Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Decatur, GA Posts: 572	Re: On stage anxiety I don't believe it's the performer's mistaken ideas of what the audience might be thinking that causes the problem. There's a visceral physical reaction for most people when they stand in front of a crowd who are looking at them, as well there might be. Your body starts pumping round chemicals that prepare you to run, affect your brain and reduce your fine control mechanisms. No doubt that is why a certain amount of goofy behavior can help performers - it lets you exercise out some of the escape response that's been triggered. Laughter is really good at helping you get rid of the effects of these chemicals.

04-04-2009, 05:03 AM	#50
8ch(pl) Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Suburb of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia Posts: 1,618	Re: On stage anxiety I started performing publicly about 8 years ago. I was Ok as a player, but was really nervous. I had a feud with a keyboard player in the song circle because he could not keep the volume down on his instrument, to a point that I could not hear my mandolin. He also could not get the idea oof not accompanying every song. I left because of it. It was throwing me off. Now that I am more confident, I am in a group with this same fellow. It is smaller and he does back off when asked, but now he is playing guitar with some of my singing and playing. He is really good. Because there are only 5 of us, (when everyone shows)we are more able to balance the sound. I have told him that I need to hear the chords while I sing and it is all OK so far. Nervousness is normal and should pass with confidence. When other musicians tell you that they like your efforts, it will boost things.