I had a real nightmare last night.

**greg_tsam** · Jul-20-2012, 10:34am

There I was dreaming away in a peaceful sleep when all of a sudden I find myself with a banjo strapped on my back walking up to an old wooden shack where someone I know in real life pops out and starts talking about how to play the banjer and starts giving me finger picks.

These finger picks look like they were cut out of aluminum pie shells with little points on each end. He kept trying to crush them tighter around my fingertips and they keep squashing loose. All the while he talked about playing the banjer and critiquing my rhythm.

Too slow. This is the banjo. You gotta go faster.

My fingers fumbled all over the strings like I'd never seen an instrument before much less played one. Frustrating. Awkward. Ugly. Good things we were in the middle of nowhere in a clearing of about twenty acres and surrounded by trees.

As he kept talking and talking..and talking I saw my chance at escape and took it. Ran around the shack and found a car and drove away. I woke up this morning feeling a little exhausted..

haha..true story. Dreams are a funny thing.

**Tim2723** · Jul-20-2012, 10:39am

So...you've met my friend Dave?

**OldSausage** · Jul-20-2012, 10:43am

When you woke up, were there fingerpicks under you pillow? Did you check? I would.

Also, check the entire house for banjos, and if you find one, call a professional disposal service. Because where there's one banjo...

**OldGus** · Jul-20-2012, 11:02am

Haha funny story Greg. I have a banjo arriving today and am really looking forward to it. I've had dreams in the past trying really hard to accomplish a seemingly impossible task. Maybe you should try a banjo to help overcome your fear. I think Mandolin Cafe propaganda may be seeping a little too deep in your head. Here is a touching new song from the Kruger brothers to help you overcome your bias http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIomLzwaygQ.

**OldGus** · Jul-20-2012, 11:13am

Playing fast on a banjo isn't as difficult as it looks. A lot of it is in muscle memory, technique and the three finger roll.

**greg_tsam** · Jul-20-2012, 11:46am

I think I know what sparked the dream. Last Wednesday (2 days ago) I was goofing around at the jam and de-tuned the banjo players strings while he was playing but not looking. We all laughed about it but I overdid it and his bridge moved and he decided it was time to take a break before killing me. During the next 5 minute break I picked it up and tried to tune it for him but couldn't make heads or tails of anything and felt like a fish out of water.

Maybe I picked up some bad mojo from his banjo when I touched it. It was probably mad at me. Reminds me of the recent threads about instruments retaining emotions from past players.

**Skunkwood** · Jul-20-2012, 11:52am

Though never much more than an low level intermediate player, I've been playing banjo for 39 years and I never got comfortable with strapping picks to my fingers. The damn things are loud enough without them. In many ways playing slow is harder than playing fast.

Mandolin is my main instrument now, but I still squeeze in a few banjo tunes into sets (currently replacing the piano on Adele's "Someone Like You" with banjo arpeggios). And there's nothing like sitting on a porch in the country with a banjo on your lap and loosing yourself in the rhythm of those rolls and the easy improvisation that comes with the open tuning.

**Bertram Henze** · Jul-20-2012, 12:28pm

Did he say "Greg, I am your father" ?

**nobullmando74** · Jul-20-2012, 1:10pm

Greg, Thats awful. Stay away from those Banjos.

**Marty Henrickson** · Jul-20-2012, 2:02pm

Originally Posted by greg_tsam

Maybe I picked up some bad mojo from his banjo when I touched it. It was probably mad at me. Reminds me of the recent threads about instruments retaining emotions from past players.

Greg, do you feel as if you possibly went down a few points in IQ as a result of this?

**journeybear** · Jul-20-2012, 3:05pm

Man! As if it weren't bad enough when they invade your personal space or consciousness during your awake time, now they're invading your subconscious?

I thought dream time was your time, when your mind was free to roam, without fear or worry. This is very troubling, indeed.

I'm no armchair psychologist - OK, yes I am (and how do you feel about that?) - BUT I do indeed think you were feeling a bit bad about messing with that guy's banjo at the jam. You may have thought that was funny, but I bet he didn't. And you, as a generally considerate person, felt regret for that - took action at the time, even - and this regret chose this way to express itself. But that is just my assessment, and what the heck do *I* know?

**greg_tsam** · Jul-20-2012, 7:10pm

i called him later that night and he said he did get a little perturbed but he got over it quickly. We're good friends. He's a cool guy even for a banjer player. It was Chris from the Lonestar Bluegrass band and I was messing around with his 1920's (I think) vintage baby. I'm probably lucky he didn't smack me a gud'un for my insolence.

**mrmando** · Jul-20-2012, 7:21pm

Originally Posted by greg_tsam

I'm probably lucky he didn't smack me a gud'un for my insolence.

Apparently he has more subtle ways of getting back at you.

**journeybear** · Jul-20-2012, 8:27pm

Hmmm ... could be ... Witchcraft, voodoo, ritual incantations, hexes and spells ... I hope he doesn't have a lock of your hair or a handwriting sample or something else personal that contains enough of your essence so he can invoke the powers of the evil spirits to exert their influence on you ... You know, maybe it was just your subconscious telling you the mandolin was the right choice for an instrument, and to leave the banjo alone. Yeah, that must be it. Yeah ...

**Bertram Henze** · Jul-21-2012, 12:51am

Originally Posted by mrmando

Apparently he has more subtle ways of getting back at you.

Did you forget your pick at the jam, maybe? Now it's riddled with needles stuck through it...

**Ivan Kelsall** · Jul-21-2012, 1:31am

I've had several dreams involving banjos & festivals over the years.The very weirdest thing is that the banjos look totally like nothing ever made on this planet. I remember in one dream,opening the case & seeing what i knew to be a banjo,but it was utterly alien - i was even amazed in the dream !.I've also had a few dreams involving instruments that somehow 'go missing' & i have to go looking for them - weird !!. Thinking about it,there must be something deeply 'Freudian' if we're dreaming about banjos & not beautiful women ( or mandolins !),

Ivan

**Bertram Henze** · Jul-21-2012, 4:34am

Originally Posted by Ivan Kelsall

I remember in one dream,opening the case & seeing what i knew to be a banjo,but it was utterly alien - i was even amazed in the dream !.

And you didn't remember it well enough to make a drawing, have it patented and make a fortune? Pity.

I never dream about banjos. my instrumental nightmares usually involve medieval-looking wooden instruments that resemble lutes, theorbos and the like, often with several long wooden necks protruding from the body at arbitray angles, with strings that are never tuned in fifths.

**Rodney Riley** · Jul-21-2012, 6:44am

Probably just something you ate, not a spell or a hex....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC6qX...hannel&list=UL

**OldSausage** · Jul-21-2012, 7:21am

Originally Posted by Ivan Kelsall

The very weirdest thing is that the banjos look totally like nothing ever made on this planet. I remember in one dream,opening the case & seeing what i knew to be a banjo,but it was utterly alien - i was even amazed in the dream !

It's pretty clear that a banjo is a 3 dimensional cross-section of a 4 dimensional shape, so they must be made by aliens.

**Ivan Kelsall** · Jul-22-2012, 5:06am

Bertram - I don't think that there's a ready market for 'Geigeresque' banjos. When i typed 'Alien' - i should have mentioned H.R.Geiger. At least it didn't spring from the case & attach itself to me,

Ivan

**Bertram Henze** · Jul-22-2012, 9:29am

Originally Posted by Ivan Kelsall

Bertram - I don't think that there's a ready market for 'Geigeresque' banjos.

They tried it with guitars...

**journeybear** · Jul-22-2012, 10:52am

Whoa! Pretty scary! Just the thing for industrial or death metal, I imagine.

Funny how this image or attitude is not unusual with guitars and guitar-drive music (well, this being an extreme example), but for electric mandolins - not so much. Ya know, some of us like to rock pretty hard!

Not that I would want to embrace whatever philosophy or zeitgeist something like this would represent or suggest, but still ...

Say, anyone heard from Greg?

A couple of nights have passed, and no word. I hope he hasn't been Freddy Krueger'ed.

**greg_tsam** · Jul-22-2012, 12:55pm

I'm lost in the shallows of my mind.

**Marty Henrickson** · Jul-22-2012, 6:32pm

Originally Posted by greg_tsam

I'm lost in the shallows of my mind.

Greg, that sounds like a good hook line for a song, it could be sung to the melody of the Grateful Dead's "Attics Of My Life", or John Hartford's "Gentle On My Mind".

**Ivan Kelsall** · Jul-23-2012, 3:03am

All we need now is a few 'Lovecraftian' mandolins - i'd imagine the 'Pickman model' going down a real treat - before it ate your hands that is !!,
Ivan