Dealing with rude people

[mandocaster]

Fix them with a steely glare and say,

"You aren't ain't not no part of neither nor nuthin'"

Let them chew on that for a while.

[mandopixie]

Ya need to take a page from Neil Young's book. The last time my wife saw one of his solo acoustic shows there were some folks at a table in the front talking during the performance. This obviously annoyed Neil who stopped the show and the offered the folks money if they would leave.

I always did like the cut of Neil Young's jib. A small but rather loud group was seated in the front row of well-known, intimate club I was playing some years ago. After a few tunes they still did not get any quieter in their chatter, which was obviously disturbing some of our otherwise captive audience. After a couple more numbers I stopped to introduce the band. They were still yakking (perhaps they should have met at a bar). I stopped mid-sentence to address them. "I'm sorry. Am I disturbing your meeting"? This was met with laugher, followed by applause from the rest of the room. I copped an earful from my guitarist afterward, who insisted that it was their prerogative to behave how they wish: They had paid the price of admission. I never did see it his way on this one..

[allenhopkins]

I believe John Duffey was heard to say in a noisy club, "Too much chit-chat here –– let's cut the chit out!"

[Bertram Henze]

Can't somebody market a pin or sticker that says, "Can't Talk and Play, Sorry." That'd about do it!

Sounds like written on the cardboard sign of a destitute busker with a few dimes in his hat...

[Coffeecup]

I copped an earful from my guitarist afterward, who insisted that it was their prerogative to behave how they wish: They had paid the price of admission. I never did see it his way on this one..

Who had the other patrons paid to listen to?

OK, this is a music forum so the discussion has been about dealing with rude audience members but the rudeness is just as prevelant everyday. It's not at all unusual to be in a conversation with somebody and have a third person arrive and interrupt, or in a group to have one person talk the others down. If a person has no concept of listening to others, or is so self-centered that every conversation must include them, they're not going to change that behaviour just because their target is on a stage.

[sprucetop1]

Can't remember how we dealt with it, but many years ago, I was playing in a "middle of the road" band in a rough rugby club in Northern England. It was not exactly "Caesar's Palace"... We had a very competent female vocalist, and she was halfway through are very well sung and soulful slow ballad, when a character in a flat cap walked straight on to the stage as if there was no band there at all....grabbed a mic. and shouted to the audience "THE HOT PIES ARE READY LADS !!!"...and to a man, everyone rushed straight out........

[Bertram Henze]

Can't remember how we dealt with it...

Pity, that would have been the interesting part. Being outperformed by hot pies, there seems to be only one solution: run after them and get a pie as well

But seriously, isn't that what hurts us the most about these disturbances: not that our performance gets interrupted, but that it is apparently unimportant.

[Bertram Henze]

Just remembered this famous music disturbance scene:



Let's be glad our own stories are less high-strung than this (and than our mandolins).

[D C Blood]

I believe John Duffey was heard to say in a noisy club, "Too much chit-chat here –– let's cut the chit out!"

Actually, Allen, it was usually Eddie Adcock who said that, though, after Eddie left te Gents, Charlie Waller took it up...

[Randolph]

After reading through this thread I have decided to once again attempt to learn "Your Mind Is On Vacation" by Mose Allison. Its a way cool tune, supposedly based on a real life occurrence. Many years ago I had the pleasure of watching Mose segue into the song in "honor" of a loud table of imbibers who were sitting center front in a small club. Several of us folks began to chuckle and politely clap as he worked his way through the tune. Unfortunately, the noisy folks at the table missed the whole put-down. Still, it was a delightfully rich and classy moment that brings a smile every time I remember it.

[Santiago]

(video) ... and thus moshing was invented.

[Coffeecup]

That reminds me of another song: Eric Bogle

[Daci]

I think a lot of people don't realise how hard it is to talk and play an instrument at the same time. I also think many people treat instrumental music as wallpaper, and don't listen to it with the same attention they woudl give to a vocal number.

Fliss

I suspected as much...

Daci, was this during a performance in front of an audience? If not, the questioner might not have known you'd be finished in a minute and might have genuinely wanted to know more about your instrument?

It was at a Chinese new years party. Very informal.

[Dave Schimming]

Guess I have been fortunate in not having any rude interruptions while playing with the band, but I have had some folks approach me after finished playing who were curious as to what the instrument was that I was playing. They did not know that it was a mandolin and were sincerely interested in the instrument and enjoyed its sound. I was more than glad to educate them a little.

[Christoph]

Heck, my wife does it to me all the time. I'll be trying to fine-tune a song and getting thru the whole thing without mistake, and she'll come barging in, "Have you seen the keys".

[Bob Borzelleri]

There are lots of ignorant people out there, some don't even know what side of their toast has the butter.

Isn't it usually the sticky side?

[journeybear]

Could also be the slick side. Seems there are always two schools of thought about everything. It's a slippery slope ...

Heck, my wife does it to me all the time. I'll be trying to fine-tune a song and getting thru the whole thing without mistake, and she'll come barging in, "Have you seen the keys".

One bit of advice - do NOT break into "Your Mind Is On Vacation" when this occurs. Remember the law of diminishing returns ...

Guess I have been fortunate in not having any rude interruptions while playing with the band, but I have had some folks approach me after finished playing who were curious as to what the instrument was that I was playing. They did not know that it was a mandolin and were sincerely interested in the instrument and enjoyed its sound. I was more than glad to educate them a little.

Hey - is posting a message about NICE people behaving POLITELY in a thread about RUDE people and behavior considered reverse trolling?

[mandopixie]

Guess I have been fortunate in not having any rude interruptions while playing with the band, but I have had some folks approach me after finished playing who were curious as to what the instrument was that I was playing. They did not know that it was a mandolin and were sincerely interested in the instrument and enjoyed its sound. I was more than glad to educate them a little.

"Oh, good for you.."! [to quote Christian Bale's rant opener on set].

ksmandocat: Maybe you could start a thread 'Never Had To Deal With Rude People'! If you are still playing out, there's always the chance that you have yet to have this experience in your playing future..

[woodwizard]

Smile and wink is the best approach. IMHO and yes... done that a few times.

[mrbook]

We all want some measure of respect when we play. Sometimes you don't get it. In high school, a couple friends and I went ot a coffeehouse performance performance by an adult frind who was a good blues guitar player. We were embarassed in the middle of the show when he started yelling at the audience for not listening properly - we wanted to sneak out, but he was our ride home. Hehas since given up performing.

That was forty years ago, though. Nowadays, I think people are so insensitive to anything outside their little world that they don't even realize how hard it is to play and converse at the same time. Most don't create anything original themselves, so they will never understand what it takes. They are the same people who talk loudly about personal matters on their cell phones in public places, and who in general don't understand that we share the world with others, and they are not the center of any universe. There have always been rude people in the world, but people seem more detached from each other these days.

It doesn't happen to me often, and I don't worry about it much much, nor do I get offended in those situations. Some make good stories later.

[Pete Hicks]

Fortunately for me, I have been heckled by the best, ever since I first played on the bluegrass stage. Even now, some listeners check the soles of their shoes after my solos to see where the smell is coming from. I think humor is the best way to deal with the rude folks, or social Jui Jitsu. Most of the time, the rudies are just having a bit too much fun. When they get too obnoxious, it's time to call the bouncer and throw the bums out.

[Salty Dog]

I have played in a gospel band for a number of years and never had such an experience until two weeks ago. We were playing a set in a fellowship hall and I was taking a mandolin break when I felt this pulling on my right arm (I am right handed). I managed to get through the break ok with this lady pulling on my arm, and then turned to see what she wanted. She wanted to tell me that she had brought water bottles for the band (it was very warm in the hall). How can you be annoyed? We were bringing bluegrass gospel music for the first time to a northern (upstate NY) Russian Orthodox Church. They loved it, though I'm sure they didn't understand the instruments much beyond the guitars, and I'm sure that we will be invited back. While her actions at first might have seemed rude and inconsiderate, they really were not as she was trying to do us a kindness and did it the way that seemed best to her at the time. It did, however, present a unique challenge beyond that of hanging on to the mandolin while it bounces on my belly - sort of a "Twilight Zone" experience.

[Mandomax]

Interesting discussion. I used to get very upset, and adopt the "I'm an artist- respect me!" approach, but I came to the realization that if I don't want anyone to interrupt me, I shoudn't play in public period. Especially if it is a paying gig, I don't mind when people come up and ask me questions while I'm playing. I have learned to carry on conversations while I pick, and have found it to be very effective. For example, one inebriated gentleman started to carry on a conversation with me while I was on stage, and I chatted with him briefly, then my break came up, and I said, into the mic, "Now I gotta pick one, son!" and let it rip. Halfway through, I made eye contact and shouted at him, "Whatchu think about that?" The drunk guy dug it, the audience loved it, and we were all happy. Playing hundreds of gigs in all kinds of conditions, from pig-greasings to black tie affairs, have mellowed me out a bunch. If I didn't want to deal with people, I would stay in my bedroom and pick along with CDs.

[journeybear]

Ha! That's pretty good. I envy your self-control and multitasking ability.

I've always been intrigued when seeing musicians onstage talking with bandmates while playing, and never missing a lick. My hero in this is probably Keith Richards, who seems to be able to carry on in-depth conversations with Ron Wood at the same time he's playing. Sure, playing as much and for as long as he has helps, but it seems there's something with the way his brain is wired to allow him to do this so effortlessly. It's all I can do sometimes to call a lead or tell the bass player the chord changes mid-song.

[j-bro]

OK.. I was playing (guitar) at a nursing home with some folks from work.
just seasonal christmas songs.
While playing a song I had this exchange:

resident: "that's pretty good, but do you know any boogie woogie"
me: "you mean like glen miller or something? I could learn a song for when we come back?"
resident: angrly says "how old do you think I am?" and storms out of the room.

I didn't see her the rest of the day, and I am still not sure what my correct response should have been?