The power of a little song

[Bob Wiegers]

hope you dont mind if I get a little sappy here, but I thought I'd share a little about recent events.

lately I've been composing folkish singer/songwriter type songs on my octave mandolin (and guitar) and I've been having a blast. but I get a little bummed that there's not too many folks to play with, at least folks that have time (we've all got young kids these days). the wife used to play guitar, and I've long wished that we could play together, but health and other life stuff have been in the way.

so I wrote a little song called Be My Nancy that was inspired by Norman and Nancy Blake. it's basically a longing to play music together. and she took up the challenge! we got away for the holiday weekend and we worked on harmonies and such and we've been having a great time.

so tonight we did a little open mic at the local coffee shop. we did a couple songs together that we've been working on, and they were well received. it's been so cool to do something together that we both enjoy, and here's hoping for more to come. we're tenatively planning on recording some of our stuff before the next baby comes (December) so hopefully you'll be hearing more from us soon :-)

if anyone has any experience as a husband/wife duo, please share some advice. thanks!

[Pen]

I'm so envious. My wife doesn't play - nor have any musical inclination or ability. We have a lot going for us - but the musical connection would take us from a 9 to a 10.

You should count youself amoungst the lucky ones. Very few things in the world give me goose bumps, and you both get them from the same thing. That absolutely rocks.

Also, have fun with your new little alarm clock. Kids are great. They teach you how to play with a strap standing up.

**all the parents grin and nod.....all the single peeps say "huh?"**

[Bertram Henze]

It doesn't get any better than that. Heaven if it works, hell if not. It teaches to be modest and diplomatic in criticizing each other - just everything one can experience in a band, but with a difference: band members leave after rehearsing or a gig, your partner not (hopefully!).

My wife and I first met at a gig of the group I played in all those years ago, (long and uninteresting story omitted here), and have played together ever since. I know more about the genre, she's the perfectionist. Audiences may quickly forget my little glitches, but she is unforgiving - made me a better player in the long run, no choice.

Bertram

[Bob Wiegers]

yeah that's so true. our first tries a couple years ago didnt go to well. she's a natural leader and has more experience on guitar, but I know the songs. plus we both have a limited vocal range so finding that sweet spot can be tough, and it was hard to figure out how to work together. but definitely worth it. kinda like marriage in general I suppose.

and yes, we have a 2yearold and 3yearold already, and we're adding to the family band soon. good thing I already prefer playing standing up. :-) they love "playing" music with us and it is a good time. they demand "play loud!" and love to dance around, and they had a blast at the kid-friendly open mic too.

[mandolooter]

thats great Bob! Its a wonderful feeling making music any way ya look at it!

[JEStanek]

Excellent, Bob. Congrats to you and your wife.

Jamie

[Tim F Thornton]

Nothing a wife loves more than a song written for her! Way to go, Bob. My wife and I met playing music and still do. We love it and feel so blessed. I play second fiddle to her really--except she plays fiddle and I don't, so she even upstaged me in my metaphor. She's so talented, but we each have things we excel at and that annoy us about the other person (did I say person? I meant player).

My best advice? Don't debrief on the way home from a gig about anything other than how much everyone loved it, how many CDs you sold, what positive things so-and-so said, and who looked like they had a tear in their eye. Constructive criticism is much more wisely measured out and much more easily swallowed after a night of sleep and a good breakfast.

If you do slip up and criticize too soon, writing her another song like "Be My Nancy" is a good remedy.

My wife just read this post and added to safe drive-home debrief topics: How good your wife looked.

[Chiledog]

Bob, your song is too cool! #Yeah it needs work, but like you said it's just a rough demo, but I could feel sincere passion in your song. #It's from the heart, and nothing sings more beautifully than the heart.

Congratulations on the "bun in the oven", but even more than that, congratulations to you and your wife getting closer through the music. I have found my Anam Cara, and she does not play. #She does support my music, and that is an awesome feeling.

Blessings to you and yours
Always,

Todd

[Caleb]

My wife is the only person I ever play music with. She's a great singer and pianist. I have a decent voice, but when we sing together everything really comes together. Our voices alone are pretty good, but together we create one entirely different voice. We have been singing together so long that it all just comes natural at this point. She'll hit a harmony perfectly - usually the very first time - that'll be the very thing that I was hearing in my head for her to do. It's amazing when you get that kind of chemistry going.

We've done a few performances, mainly in church settings, and folks always seem to enjoy it, but I really have no interest in gigs and we mainly just sing at home as a family. I might be a bit odd in this sense, but I just don't really understand why so many people want to perform. I always get way more enjoyment out of sitting around with friends in a living room, or an a back porch setting, than playing on a stage.

[JeffD]

#I might be a bit odd in this sense, but I just don't really understand why so many people want to perform. #I always get way more enjoyment out of sitting around with friends in a living room, or an a back porch setting, than playing on a stage.

Oh man your talking my language there. I would MUCH rather play with friends than for them.

Performing has its high points - getting and keeping an audience, being appreciated and getting applause, and all that. The chief advantage of performing is that you work on a tune till its perfect. I love that part.


But those high points are not much in comparison to good friends sharing great music. Friends with whom you have played for many years, sitting in your living room (a.k.a. pickin' parlor), playing old favorites or introducing new tunes to each other (what'cha been workin on?), working out some harmonies and seconds.

I am the luckiest man on earth, because I have friends I have been playing music with for over 20 years. We have a combined repertoire of its got to be over 5 or 600 tunes, and a core shared repertory of several hundred, and can each bring to mind a good 70 or 80 tunes at any given get together. You cant go to the discount store and find that on the shelf.

A pickin party with friends, and some corn bread and chili, and you better check because you just might have died and gone to heaven.

[Caleb]

#I might be a bit odd in this sense, but I just don't really understand why so many people want to perform. #I always get way more enjoyment out of sitting around with friends in a living room, or an a back porch setting, than playing on a stage.

Oh man your talking my language there. I would MUCH rather play with friends than for them.

Performing has its high points - getting and keeping an audience, being appreciated and getting applause, and all that. The chief advantage of performing is that you work on a tune till its perfect. I love that part.


But those high points are not much in comparison to good friends sharing great music. Friends with whom you have played for many years, sitting in your living room (a.k.a. pickin' parlor), playing old favorites or introducing new tunes to each other (what'cha been workin on?), working out some harmonies and seconds.

I am the luckiest man on earth, because I have friends I have been playing music with for over 20 years. We have a combined repertoire of its got to be over 5 or 600 tunes, and a core shared repertory of several hundred, and can each bring to mind a good 70 or 80 tunes at any given get together. You cant go to the discount store and find that on the shelf.

A pickin party with friends, and some corn bread and chili, and you better check because you just might have died and gone to heaven.

Jeff - You are very fortunate, indeed. I'd love to have some friends like that...and some more time to play with friends like that.

[Jim]

Those of you who are playing music with your partner are very lucky and I am Happy for you. I tried to cultivate that sort of relationship with my now x wife ( we were together 19 years) however the results were less than good. She could sing but was not a musician. In other words did not know keys, notes or time. I played guitar arranged songs, that she picked, for her voice and solo guitar. Taught them to her and we would perform them at weddings,open mikes talent shows ect. She basked in the spotlight and not once in 19 years gave me any credit at all. She also resented that I was asked to back up other singers or to play one of my own. If I was asked to play in a band she wanted to be THE singer, If not she wanted me not to take the job. Well needless to say It didn't work out and niether did the relationship. For all of you out there that it does I'm very happy for you and I hope you know how good you have it. I don't usually "vent" on forums but this one hit close to home.

[Bob Wiegers]

thanks again for the kind words everyone.

as for the question about the desire to perform, I definitely hear ya. my drive has been to record stuff and I've asked myself why. the bottom line is so that I can share it with others. yeah, there's a big component of "look at me" at times, but hopefully I can give credit where it is due and be of service to the listener.

I think picking on the porch is an ideal setting for sharing music, but I've come to see "performance" more as a service than anything else. if my songs are worth sharing, then why not share it with a bunch of people? this is especially true for me at church of course but I think it translates to other settings too. and it is indeed true, a performance (deadline) is a great motivator for polishing my stuff.

and thanks for the reminder Jim, and sorry for your hardship. hopefully some good has/will come of it.

[CES]

Also, have fun with your new little alarm clock. #Kids are great. #They teach you how to play with a strap standing up.

**all the parents grin and nod.....all the single peeps say "huh?"**

AMEN!

I have trouble getting my wife to sing with me (she sings well, I play and try to sing some but not that well), but I think it's a matter of interest...she'll periodically hear something she really wants us to do and we'll work on it a few times, but then life takes over again. Most of our friends know of her talent (and my lack thereof), and I think it's also more comfortable for her to say we haven't been working on anything than to start wailing away.

BUT, when we do play/sing together, it always ends up being a blast!

[JeffD]

I am no expert in this - as it boarders more on psychology than music, but it seems to me a warning sign, a yellow light if you will, if a couple only play music together in preparation for a gig. Seems to me more healthy to play together for the fun of playing together, for the sharing of yet another connection, a musical connection, another way to relate - infact a way to relate when you really have nothing to talk about, or don't really want to talk.

Then, if there is a gig or an open mike or a wedding, well, you are ready and able without much scrambling. The music shared with the audience is the music you share in the relationship.

Ah, but for many of us, unfortunatley, "this is a thing more ardently to be wished than seriously to be expected."