OK... I'll bite. I've bid on the Monzino Lombardian. It seems typical of the form, though it will clearly need some restoration. My wife's family ancestory sports the name "Monzingo" (they think its French-derived). I harbor the fantasy that the name is really a modification on Monzino... Maybe with that connection I can get the thing in the door without fear of retribution... :-)
"The effect is pretty at first... It is disquieting to find that there are nineteen people in England who can play the mandolin; and I sincerely hope the number may not increase."
- George Bernard Shaw, Times of London, December 12, 1893