I developed a bad habit of trying to follow the melody and I am now painfully training myself not to do that. My instructor has me practicing rhythms alternating between different patterns by always keeping the beat as "1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and" (numbers downstrokes, "and" upstrokes) and on each stroke (down or up) muting, accenting, strumming, "picking air" or a single specific note. Right now I am deciding on a pattern (like "mute all upstrokes, accent 2 and 4, strum 1 and 3") and then applying that to several measures, moving up and down the neck with a couple of common chord forms. The chop is accenting then quickly muting on 2 and 4. I am generally making a sound of some kind on every eighth note boundary and varying what that sound is to try to fit the tune instead of trying to vary my timing. I am not particularly good at it yet, but I am pretty convinced it is the way to go and is achievable. The people I play with far prefer me making the wrong sounds at the right time to making the right sounds at the wrong time, so I guess that's progress...
BTW, I also strongly agree about the importance of rhythm. I asked for my lessons to be about little else until I am much better at it. I run scales and know a few melodies, but mostly just pass on the breaks right now. I sometimes feel that jams push people to concentrate on solos too soon.
"First you master your instrument, then you master the music, then you forget about all that ... and just play"
Charlie "Bird" Parker
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