Introvert and extrovert

[Denny Gies]

I would guess I lean towards the extrovert. Interesting happening; when I was first learning to play the guitar I thought the pinnacle would be to play publically as a solo performer. I got the chance and had a blast. However, when I joined a band I found soooooooo much more satisfaction in being part of a group. Not sure what this all means but now I know I'd rather be part of a group performing than perform solo.

[UsuallyPickin]

Well .... introverts gather energy from within.. extroverts gather energy from other people and sources. I love to sing and play.. I always have. I hope I always do. Playing and singing is not tough for me in private or public. But being in public, interacting, doing the business of music just wears me the "F" out. So I have to watch my energy level and when I feel it getting low I retreat to somewhere private and quiet to generate some more. I get a bit testy when I am at the end of a long day dealing with people so I try to be aware and beat a hasty retreat when necessary. R/

[Stacey Morris]

...but I would way prefer it if I could find two or three people who shared my taste in music and wanted to get together regularly to play. I have performed in public a few times and didn't really enjoy it and it plumb wore me out. So it's partly about size of the group and partly about whether I already know people and partly about what we are doing, all of which affect my comfort level and all of which have to do with introversion in some sense.

I am like that also, Mark. I consider myself an introvert. I'm not a professional musician, though.

[tehreal]

Even playing in front of my family causes me physical pain. They purport to enjoy my playing, but it's just so much attention focused squarely on me that it makes me uncomfortable.

[JeffD]

Even playing in front of my family causes me physical pain. They purport to enjoy my playing, but it's just so much attention focused squarely on me that it makes me uncomfortable.

Agreed. I have the most problem playing for an audience of family and my non-musical friends.

[Drew Egerton]

Great topic.

I have two hobbies that greatly push my introvert personality traits: music and hot air ballooning.
For the latter, I've heard it said that you have to be an extrovert to fly around a giant, brightly colored bag of air. It certainly attracts attention everywhere we go from landing in a neighborhood to just having it on the truck at a gas station.

I do consider myself quite introverted, to the point that making telephone calls even to people I know well is an uncomfortable task. I don't like to speak at drive thrus or call to order pizza. I order pizza online and the drive thrus I just get over as a necessity for survival

I'm perfectly comfortable writing all of this online, but standing up in a room full of the same people and saying the same thing would be daunting.


Music and more specifically going to jams and playing in a band with actual gigs has helped me tremendously in dealing with the anxiety of public performance and dealing with strangers. I do still feel anxious/nervous but I have overcome that to play in front of a hundred people or play and speak on the local radio shows. I have noticed that this experience from music has also helped me do other things that push my boundaries like give a 45 min ballooning training presentation to 120 people recently. But if I'm just out in public for some other reason, firmly in the introvert crowd!

[soliver]

Another commonly espoused trait of the introvert is maintaining very few, but very close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances, ... aside from drawing energy from within and recharging with time to oneself, the introvert prefers a close knit group over a crowd. Both my wife and I consider ourselves introverts and adhere to this as well. I think a few people within this thread who have called themselves as introverts have described this trait as well.

But as we all know we can train ourselves out of these natural tendencies (as you said Drew) but our default preference defines us more, IMO.

[farmerjones]

I dunno. I guess I could go either way. I'm quite comfortable with my own company for extended periods. I'm quite comfortable in front of people. Even large audiences. But I live rurally. What makes me quite uncomfortable is crowded urban/suburban shopping malls, or big stores. I can stand it for an hour, not much more.
I would not over think the stage thing. Yes, there are gigs where you are the background noise, and you should understand this. Then there are gigs where they come to see you or somebody like you. I play the same alone (with my cat) as I do in front of whatever number of people. It's far from a Kenny Chesney.

[Bertram Henze]

the introvert prefers a close knit group over a crowd.

Yes, that's me. But audience seems to make a third category for me; even the Cafe might count as such.

[Tobin]

Another commonly espoused trait of the introvert is maintaining very few, but very close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances, ... aside from drawing energy from within and recharging with time to oneself, the introvert prefers a close knit group over a crowd.

Yup. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't have any friends. There are lots of people I consider acquaintances, and who I'm friendly with at jams or whatnot. But there's not a single person I "hang out" with or invite over to my home to do guy stuff. My wife is the only person I feel the need to talk to in person about normal life, or to do regular things with. I've had several people in the past who I tried to be friends with like a normal person, and it was just more trouble and effort than it was worth for me. I suck at small talk, and as bad as it sounds, I'm really not interested in hearing about other peoples' humdrum lives.

I don't know if I'm just self-centered, or if it's the introvert in me. Nothing stresses me more than having to sit there with somebody and hold a conversation. I have really tried, and I am incapable of doing it. I'm OK if we're focused on something specific that I'm passionate about, like music or politics or technical subjects. But talking about our jobs, or our love lives, or whatever normal people have normal conversations about ...it just ain't for me. I'm not "friend material", I guess. And it's fine with me, because I really don't feel the need to have friends. Just my one person is enough for me.

[farmerjones]

Yup. . . . me.

Yup, yer my kinda people.

Talk's cheap. Why talk if there's pickin' to be done?

[Bertram Henze]

Yup. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't have any friends. There are lots of people I consider acquaintances, and who I'm friendly with at jams or whatnot. But there's not a single person I "hang out" with or invite over to my home to do guy stuff. My wife is the only person I feel the need to talk to in person about normal life, or to do regular things with. I've had several people in the past who I tried to be friends with like a normal person, and it was just more trouble and effort than it was worth for me. I suck at small talk, and as bad as it sounds, I'm really not interested in hearing about other peoples' humdrum lives.

I don't know if I'm just self-centered, or if it's the introvert in me. Nothing stresses me more than having to sit there with somebody and hold a conversation. I have really tried, and I am incapable of doing it. I'm OK if we're focused on something specific that I'm passionate about, like music or politics or technical subjects. But talking about our jobs, or our love lives, or whatever normal people have normal conversations about ...it just ain't for me. I'm not "friend material", I guess. And it's fine with me, because I really don't feel the need to have friends. Just my one person is enough for me.

The precision of your description of me is slightly unsettling. I now know that I am not alone. We are not alone.

[Tobin]

The precision of your description of me is slightly unsettling. I now know that I am not alone. We are not alone.

Introverts need a support group. But that would probably just be a circle of people staring at their shoes...

[Folkmusician.com]

Introverts need a support group. But that would probably just be a circle of people staring at their shoes...

I really like you guys, we should all not hangout sometime!

[Ivan Kelsall]

I honestly can't say i'm one or the other extro./introvert !. Maybe we're all like that, with some of us swinging more one way at times & then the other way ?. I spend a lot of time each day simply 'picking along' to Bluegrass music,both learning ''new'' stuff & making sure i don't forget the ''old'' stuff. Unfortunately for me,there are no Bluegrass musicians to play with anywhere close to me,so 'playing out' for me,consists of a visit to my local Folk Club which is mainly English / Irish folk music - not very inspiring 'for me'.

Going back many years,when the Folk music boom in full flood,& for several years after,i'd take my banjo to every Folk club that i visited & hope that i'd be allowed to play a couple of tunes. That said,i'd had a band together for close to 3 years,so i was pretty well known in & around Manchester UK. The ONLY problem i ever had was nerves. In the begining i really suffered until i'd played a couple of tunes & worked the nerves off,after that -no problems at all.

I think that as i've got older (72 right now),my nerves have died - either that,or i've simply become more 'bloody minded' with myself. My attitude (with myself) these days,is to h**l with it - get it done !. As mortality creeps up on you,you might find yourself feeling much the same - ''time is shorter than you think'' - make the most of it,
Ivan

[Bertram Henze]

Introverts need a support group. But that would probably just be a circle of people staring at their shoes...

I'll start with a contribution...

[Beanzy]

Interesting ceiling colour Bertram.

[Mark Miller]

Are those golden shoes? Man, you are one fancy dude!

[JeffD]

I am not sure this correlates with introversion, but it has been pointed out to me that perhaps one of the reasons I like to jam is that it is a way to be with people that doesn't have to involve lots of talking.

[sw**ts]

Interesting topic. I am an introvert, all through life have been termed "shy".

Music has opened things up for me. Now, as a newbie to mandolin, I find it so challenging and yet, exciting, to get up to an open mic and do a song, complete with lead break. Although I often mess it up here and there, I keep the time, and I am always happy and proud to have been able to play much of the lead, and sing the song.

It is much harder for me to do a lead on guitar, even one I've practiced. Oh well, one day, maybe.

I've enjoyed your different takes on music and types of people, in this thread.

Jan

[Jim Hudson]

The reason we are having this very interesting discussion is, in part, because the terms introvert and extrovert are affectations applied to the infinite spectrum of personalities. We are not machines, but we strive to define ourselves and others so that we understand our world better. The idea of "band dynamics" comes immediately to my mind, and is perhaps where the rubber meets the road as it pertains to this discussion. Keeping all personalities in a band happy and fulfilled has been, in my experience, a considerably tender proposition. I have extroverted "drives" but very much enjoy being a side man ... on mandolin ... which most would consider a lead instrument. It seems the majority of participants in this thread consider themselves introverts which is a bit surprising to me, given the instrument that is at least one of the passions we all enjoy. Perhaps the solution lies in that aspect of music which transcends personality. People are drawn to music and some of us end up with the conserably welcome opportunity to create it, no matter into what personality "type" we fall. And sometimes we find ourselves in the midst of making music in that rare happenstance when everything just "clicks" within the group. We've all been there, thank God. Sometimes it lasts a long time, sometimes it happens only that one time. I, for one, am just glad it happens.

[David L]

Introverts need a support group. But that would probably just be a circle of people staring at their shoes...

How can you tell the extrovert in the math department.... they're the one staring at YOUR shoes!

[catmandu2]

I am not sure this correlates with introversion, but it has been pointed out to me that perhaps one of the reasons I like to jam is that it is a way to be with people that doesn't have to involve lots of talking.

...many too find solace in the arts as a medium of communication and engagement they would otherwise lack.

A common impulse. There are many ways we commune: business conventions, family/friendship conventions, various ideological or formalistic conventions (religion, sports, etc) - all predicated on specific modes and principles of social transaction and sets of prescriptive behaviors. This uniformity can certainly, perhaps typically, be at odds with the individual - one's personal beliefs, principles, fundamental urge for creativity, expression, etc. (Harrison Bergeron had to choose between 'family life' and an 'aesthetic life' - the classic dilemma). Many people balance these with ostensible functionality (although one may be surprised to learn what lies beneath the surface) - that is, they work and earn an income and 'contribute' to society; many even do the balancing act gracefully and efficiently.

There are many other modes of being - with variability in the level of necessary social contact (and thus, interpersonal communication). Personally, I've found little inspiration from banal convention. What i like about music is that it allows me to express what i find important - viz, beauty - much more efficiently than I typically would find from most verbal transactions; allowing me to transcend the mundane at will (and in a basically socially acceptable manner). When I do talk with people, they are often if not typically put-off by my persistent attitude toward an aesthetic view of life (in every moment). I think it's probably too intense for most people. So music is an effective language/modality for my personal expression.

[Tobin]

I am not sure this correlates with introversion, but it has been pointed out to me that perhaps one of the reasons I like to jam is that it is a way to be with people that doesn't have to involve lots of talking.

I think that's very accurate for me too. Unfortunately, around here most of the time at jams is spent talking between tunes!

[JonZ]

There seem to be a lot of introverts posting on this topic. It is likely that this says more about people who post on Internet forums than about musicians.