Lost in translation

[Ron McMillan]

From a 'for sale' post on a Thai mandolin Facebook page. It's the automatic translation courtesy of Facebook that I'm laughing at


Ask permission to sell. Suzuki Mandolin. Price offered.... Coat Chicken. The Doorknob is missing.. Need to find myself and put on a string. Otherwise based on condition.

[Steve Ostrander]

Need to find myself and put on a string.

Don't we all, brother, don't we all....

[trevor]

I keep a coat chicken on all my mandolins.

[Ron McMillan]

I keep a coat chicken on all my mandolins.

Even when there is a missing doorknob?

[trevor]

Yes, especially then.

[Ray(T)]

Always one of my favourite websites - http://www.engrish.com/category/music/page/5/

[Ivan Kelsall]

Ron - That reminds me of a couple of instance going back into the early 1970's. I bought a Japanese made record turntable made by Pioneer & a Japanese made stereo amplifier. I unpacked the turntable & there was a sticky note attached to the top of the chassis refering to the transit screws - ''When in use,take off them''. On the back of the amp.,there was a now illegal in the UK, 2 flat-pin socket with a note saying ''Fatally important'' - it doesn't get more important than that !!

Ray - That's hilarious !!. Right out of the Benny Hill book of ''how to speak Engrish'' :-

[Ron McMillan]

In 1983 I spent time in Japan, and one of my hobbies was reading T-shirts. One favourite said:

Don't touch me with Careless!
I am unexploded Bomb!

[Jess L.]

... I unpacked the turntable & there was a sticky note attached to the top of the chassis refering to the transit screws - ''When in use,take off them''. On the back of the amp.,there was a now illegal in the UK, 2 flat-pin socket with a note saying ''Fatally important'' - it doesn't get more important than that !! ...

Speaking of unpacking new boxes, anyone remember "Farb now the glimrod" from 1980s newspaper comic "Shoe" by Jeff MacNelly:


(or direct link)

Glad someone's posted it online because I lost my Sunday-funnies copy years ago.

Edited to add:
Captioning for those with eyesight problems who can't view the video, here is descriptive text of the above comic strip:

Santa and the elves are getting ready for Christmas. Santa asks one of the elves: "Is the new sleigh ready?"

Elf says: "Almost, Mr. C..."

Santa says: "Almost? Hey, I'm on a tight schedule!"

Elf says: "I know, Boss. The boys are working on it out in the workshop."

Santa says: "Working on it?! I thought we ordered it from Taiwan COMPLETE..."

Elf says: "Right, Mr. C. It got here this morning."

Santa says: "Then, what's the big problem?"

Elf points to the box that the new sleigh came in, and quotes the instructions: "Some assembly required."

Other elves are reading the assembly instructions: "Side D also instead from outside half," and "Craunch along the stanchion 14 at the mashing together place," and "FARB NOW THE GLIMROD".

[trevor]

Here's a good one of a guitar on eBay.

Ceiling, from particularly selected slow-moving alpine spruce

[EdHanrahan]

In the early '70s, Car & Driver magazine (among the more literate of such publications, especially back then), would regularly print quotes from Japanese US owners' manuals. They generally included such sage advice as: "Utilize key to aid thief."