Songs for a Funeral

[Michael H Geimer]

I've been sadened lately by the news of Bill Stanely's passing. He was someone whom I looked forward to knowing in the years to come, as I felt we had more than mandolins in common. It has been said, but bears repeating, Bill's was a unique spirit.

I was saddened more so, because the news arrived so soon after losing another friend to cancer. Ron was the first True Fan of our neighborhood string band. He was a mutual friend foremost, but also the first person who wanted to know "when we were playing next". This surpirised us beacuse we didn't consider ourselves all that entertaining, but Ron would tell us otherwise. He was also one of the most intelligent, grounded, and insightfull individuals I have ever known, and we shared many engaging conversations on science, politics, religion ... the 'heavy stuff'. I always defered to his powerfull insight. So, I felt (and still feel) tremendously flattered by his opinions about our 'garage band'. He sincerely enjoyed our music, and saw every performance he could. (I don't know that I'd even do that, but for being *in* the band and all)

Ron - through his ex-wife, friend, and executor - has asked us to play at his memorial service. Ron was secular in his beliefs, but also open minded such that anything of the right sprit would be oppropriate. I would like to find some songs to learn for the occasion, and would appreciate suggestions from the board.

Both Bill and Ron were excellent men. The bells tolls for those of left behind.

[rixter]

I just went through the loss of my sister to cancer 2 weeks ago. The last time I saw her I went up to her hospital room and sat and played and sang what was in my notebook. As it happened, one of the songs was "I'll Fly Away". I felt sort of weird about it given the situation, but I did anyway and she liked it. Just a week later, I had to come back for her funeral and her daughter/my niece asked me to play the same song with her (she didn't know about me playing it before and is not really into bluegrass). It was amazingly well-received, I would have thought it was too lighthearted for a funeral, but we only got positive feedback. Guess that we aren't just limited to funeral dirges.

[sgarrity]

There is a version of "How Great Thou Art" in Chris Thile's book entitled Leading Off that is absolutely amazing. Works beautifully on solo mandolin.

[sailaway]

Start with Angel Band , slow and very full of hope

then do Who Will Sing For Me , a beautiful and meaningful song for people who have loved listening to music all their lives

then into On Eagle's Wings - an old style hymn, also cheerful and full of hope

then end with "I'll Fly Away" because it is most upbeat and uplifting.

[Jeffers]

For us scottish folk, the tradidional thing is Flowers of the Forest on the bagpipes. I'm sure you could find the music on the web pretty easily, and I would imagine that the tune would sound very nice solo on the mandolin.

[lakedog mando]

"In My Life" The Beatles.

Pick on...

[Stanley Cox]

A couple that I like.

"Where The Roses Never Fade"

"Far Side Bank of Jordan"

Stanley Cox

[John Flynn]

I think "Amazing Grace" is the quintessential funeral song.

[TommyK]

I'll second "Amazing Grace"
For those who nudge the musicians when they need a nudge,
"Leader of the Band" by Fogelberg. #"....his song is in my soul..." #brings a tear to my eye. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

[Rroyd]

Tim Stafford's "Some Day" (on Blue Highway's "Midnight Storm" project)

[J. Mark Lane]

Ahhh, "Far Side Bank of Jordan." I was about to type it and saw someone else has recommended it, too. To me, that is maybe the most beautiful "death song" I've ever heard. Find it on Alison Krauss with the Cox Family, "I Know Who Holds Tomorrow."

Mark

[Michael H Geimer]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions so far. Please keep offering more, if possible.

I was just having a conversation yesterday - before I knew of Ron's request - about the differences between scripted ceremonies, and those that manage to capture the spirit of the life being commemorated. I'm quite sure this service will be of the later sort.

I've only once before played for a funeral service, and that was a powerful event. It was for the father of a friend. The widow was an opera singer, and upon my arrival at the house that morning she asked if I would accompany her on her husband's Ramirez. (I would occasionally play for Maurice if I was over, as he could no longer play due to arthritis) I was handed a photocopy choral score and the guitar as we left for the service. I recall trying to fantically deduce the chords from the vocal harmonies - in Bb no less! I really honestly didn't think I could pull this off - indeed I couldn't.

But, once we got up to perform, I realized that my role was that of 'sturdy support' for the emotionally difficult task of singing a love song to your departed spouse. So, I kept my chin up. and played just enough to help support the general key, and to do nothing to harm her beautifull vocals.

No point ... just a recollection of a beautiful service for another amazing individual. (The only person I'll ever know who snuck himself out of Vichy France via the Allied Underground! )

[RandyLaMoraa]

There is a song by the SubDudes called Carved In Stone, A friend played it at my daughters funeral I cant rember all words to the chorus but the end was

Carry On
Have yor self a lovely ride
Think of me
When you finally
Reach the other side

[neal]

Who was Ron? He may have liked a good old reel or jig. Funerals are funny, not ha-ha, but in the way people think they should be. As for me, of course I'm echoing a lot of folks, I'd like something fun and happy, and a good party afterward, but the folks that attend the funeral may want something a bit different. Ah well, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, but do something he would have liked, and tell the folks precisely that fact, I mean, he was a fan of your music.

[Michael H Geimer]

" Funerals are funny, not ha-ha, but in the way people think they should be. "

I know excatly what you mean. The best moments in a service are those when someone tells 'that story' and brings out the much needed laughs. That will surely happen, and we will most certainly play some songs that aren't 'meaningfull', but I hope we'll also include some special songs just to commemorate the day. I can enjoy a memorial that highlights the best parts of a persons life, much more than just some somber, silent gathering of mourners.

Thanks again for the suggestions.

[Unseen122]

Another for "Amazing Grace" it is THE funeral song and if you don't know how toplay it it is really really easy.

[Michael H Geimer]

Will the Circle be Unbroken*
Landslide
Dust in the Wind


*This song got played alot up at Strawberry, and while everyone played it nice, and sang it fine ... it'd get played as if Mom was alive and well, ya' know bouncy like a revival tune, rather than slow, and somber like a cold and cloudy day.

[mandolooter]

Will the Circle is seriously sad and my Mom is even still around, my introduction to this song was on Greg Allmans first solo effort but its a tear-jerker for sure. I kinda like the idea someone previously mentioned about what songs did he like and play...funerals are sad enough as it is and a happy song could be a help to someone whos having a hard time dealing with the whole thing. I've had a list, thats ever changing of course, of some songs I'd like played when Im done livin and some of em are tear-jerkers but quite a few are upbeat and meant to remind folks of a different day in time when i was still around and
"causing trouble" so to speak. That might be a great avenue to explore if your friends loved ones are up to it but I would check it out with em first for sure. Good-luck and my heart goes out to you and them my friend. I know you'll do a fine job Mike!

[john_rr]

If I had my way at my own funeral, the only gospel song I would allow would be "Amazing Grace". I'd like "Tuesday's Gone" or "Simple Man". I think "Soulshine" would be a good one, too.

John

[mandofiddle]

I played the mando and sang "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" at my grandmother's funeral nearly two years ago. I had to have the lyrics in front of me even though I'd sang it 100 times before, and I still had a hard time getting through it. I didn't play it up tempo like mentioned at all. It was very somber, with family members crying while I played and sang... It was tough.

[Roger]

Ashogan Farewell. That's the one I want at my funeral.

[Ken]

Parting Glass - did it at both my wife's grandparent funerals and my mother's.

[f5loar]

I've done several on different instruments. I even had a request to play "Dixie" on the banjo as they lowered the coffin but what I find most common are: Amazing Grace,
What A Friend We Have In Jesus, Farther Along, I Saw The Light, and Vince Gil's Go Rest High on That Mountain.
Gram Parsons and Bernie Leadon sung Farther Along at Clarence Whites funeral and Vince Gil sung Go rest.... at Monroes funeral.

[Rob Anderson]

Hello,
We just played a funeral for a fellow player 2 weeks ago.
Started with a few faster gospel songs before the service began. "In the Highways","River of Jordan","Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", and an instrumental.
As the casket was being walked in we played "Wayfaring Stranger", which I thaught might be to slow and sad but it couldn't have been better for that occasion.
Later "Circle", "Amazing Grace", and closed with "When the Saints Go Marching In".
Hope that helps.
Rob

[Dan Cole]

I made a powerpoint show for my dad's funeral using "Ashokan Farewll", I played "Wayfaring Stranger" at the service, with the words on the program. It was real fitting for my dad.

[pickles]

We sang "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" for my dad. It was always one of his favorites, in life. And we did NOT leave out his favorite verse:

If you get there before I do
just dig a hole and pull me through.

My first thought in response to this thread was "Will The Circle Be Unbroken," but here's another that always gives me a lump in my throat: Kate Wolf's "Friend of Mine."

[flairbzzt]

Though all is most likely said and done now, I echoe an earlier suggestion for How Great Thou Art. I played it sweet and low when I first read this thread and I think there were tears coming from my f-holes.

[TommyK]

[quote=neal,Sep. 17 2004, 14:49"...Funerals are funny, not ha-ha, but in the way people think they should be. #...[/quote]
The ONE song I remember being played at a funeral was of my uncle. #He was a Train Engineer wannabe from the first time he heard a train whistle as it crossed the family 'back forty'. #He was so in love with trains he bought a surplused TP&W caboose and parked it in his yard. #He called it his "concentratin' room" #He was such a fan of the railroaders that traversed his fields that they all knew him and all sang him Happy Birthday on the appropriate date via their wireless transmitters. #He had a scanner in his kitchen. Uncle Virgil had a wry sense of humor and I only once saw him angry. (I had it coming). #At the end of the sermon a recording of a steam engine chugging and whistling was played for about 1 minute. #As we exited the church after the service the we began to recognize the song the organist was playing, "I've Been Working on the Railroad." #
I miss ya uncle Virg! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif
Bottom line, an upbeat song that bespeaks the departed is always appropriate.
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/coffee.gif

[John Ely]

I want "Angel Band" at my funeral.

[mad dawg]

Danny Boy, followed by a bunch of upbeat reels and jigs to move everyone into the mood to celebrate the departed's life.

[Michael H Geimer]

Thanks again for more suggestions. The service is not for a few weeks yet. So there is time for us to learn whatever songs we'll play. Tomorrow night is band practice, so we'll probably talk it over and choose songs then.

I really like the idea of Ashokan Farewell, and Angel Band, and also the Skynyrd tunes.

Today, I'm just feeling lucky to be here at all, as I just had seriously close call with a mountain lion Saturday night.

- Benig


P.S. I want to add that I do believe this event will have a positive slant, as it will be just close friends and family. We'll surely play much of our 'fun' material. I'm just hoping to offer something 'extra' just for that day, and just for Ron.

[Don Grieser]

I played "Ripple" with some friends at a memorial service. Afterwards we jammed on a bunch of fiddle tunes, bluegrass tunes, and Dead tunes while everyone ate. That was one of the most memorable musical experiences I'll have. I'd want someone to play something upbeat for me.

[Mandodoc]

My Mother passed away a year ago and I got up and played for her at her funeral. I played one of her favorite songs, "Today" and then I played "Will the Circle be Unbroken", for that I invited everyone to join in the chorus and after the last verse everybody did the chorus again acapella. It was very touching and everyone seemed to like it.
Sorry about the loss of your friend.
A few others:
"People Get Ready, there's a train a comin'",
"Are you Washed in the Blood",
"Turn, turn, turn",
"Ripple",
"To Lay Me Down",
"Brokedown Palace",
"I'll Fly Away",
"Angel Band",
"When the Roll is Called Up Yonder"

jon

[Michael H Geimer]

" My Mother passed away a year ago and I got up and played for her at her funeral. "

Wow. I could not have done that. I'll have trouble singing Will the Circle be Unbroken if start thinking about it too much.

[pickles]

I want the lion story!

[duuuude]

Amazing Grace is familiar to most, where Wayfaring Stranger would be familiar to the music-oriented folks, anything comfy and familiar. "Circle" done baptist-choir style, lotsa bluesy/ragtime feel, would be a good closer, somethin' to send 'em off in style while uplifting those left behind. But then ya gotta play to the audience if that's yer role.
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[GVD]

"Bright Morning Stars" has been done by Emmylou and Jerry Garcia but the a cappella version by the Freight Hoppers is the one I think should be sung at every funeral.

GVD

[mad dawg]

I tend to favor secular fare, but Dave Lindley plays mandolin in a great version of In the Lord's Arms on Ben Harper's Burn to Shine CD. This version is on my "must learn" list, and might be a good selection for your upcoming event.

[Michael H Geimer]

" I want the lion story! "

Off topic, but interesting ...

I went camping up in Kennedy Meadows this past weekend at a private semi-permanent camp along the trail-head of a pack station. (i.e. Not your typical Nat'l Forest site, a bit more removed)

A banjo player and I picked some Bluegrass at the pack station saloon Saturday night, then returned to camp with some random folk from the bar. We all kept going well into the small hours. One guest was so hammered that he needed a guide to get back to his trailer. I volunteered to asist.

On my way back to camp, I stopped to 'talk to man about a horse'. I was in 'mid discussion' when I heard the air horn. At first I thought maybe my (drunk) friends were messing around, but I reconsidered, as my friends know better than to cry 'wolf'.

When I got back to camp. Jeff was the only one up - the girls had screamed and run for the tents when they heard the cat. Once I was back around the fire, the Mountain Lion started 'huffing' again. I will never forget that sound, especially hearing it come from just a few feet from where I was standing a moment ago ... with my back to the animal.

He hung around for another hour at least, before we finally turned in for the night.

A comment from my best friend:

So the old adage is as true now as ever… #“Don’t turn your back on a mountain lion, unless you’re drunk and have to take a leak real bad and your friends have an air horn.” #True… true.

[pickles]

Thanks! Great story!
To stray further off thread I'll add that that's a beautiful area, and the last time I backpacked near there I went alone (dumb) without checking the weather (dumber), got snowed on unprepared but had a grand time. Next time I'll check the forecast and bring friends with airhorns. Can't always trust to luck.

David Lindley was dazzling with Blind Boys from Alabama on Amazing Grace at Millpond 2003, but I wouldn't suggest you use that older tune they sang it to, as it's the same one that's more commonly associated these days with "house of the rising sun," probably not the feel you want for a funeral. I was going to say "Ripple," too. Also consider any song that has to do with the departed's interests or stomping grounds, not necessarily sticking to funereal fare. Me, there was a time when I did so much driving all day up the San Joaquin and turning west up through Pacheco, Kate Wolf's Pacheco pass would have been perfect at my funeral. Nowadays it would be songs about redwoods.

[Michael H Geimer]

Funny ... we got unexpectedly snowed on last weekend as well.

[ManjoMan]

"Going Home" and "Lord, I'm Ready to Go Home" both
by the Country Gentlemen are fitting songs for a
funeral.