To hide, or not to hide

[Lee]

It seems that Multiple Mando Syndrome causes some friction amongst the married folks. #Being a single fella, whenever I'm expecting a lady friend home for company I hide all but a couple mandolins. #These make nice conversation pieces, whereas fifteen seems to initiate an impromtu, and very untimely, psychoanalytic study. #What's the concensus; should I let the cat outta the bag up front and keep 'em all out in plain sight?

[Jim Garber]

If you are looking for a potential mate, prob best to get it all out in the open. What happens when you get serious and then she finds out.

Besides you do want a woman who sees nothing wrong with having lots of mandolins.

Jim

[Tom C]

I'd keep them outta sight but don't make it look like you are hiding them. She may think you are more interested in them than her. But then again, maybe she'll think
that you are a great player and you must have great hands http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif. But then again, she may think that you are just plain nuts. But, hey maybe you are http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Lee]

I resemble that remark...
So then, does the bouzouki case standing in the corner with the lampshade on top qualify as hidden? And should the three taking up most the space in the linen closet be in plain sight or stowed behind the bath towels?

[mandough]

It really depends on if she's a music lover. If she is, then she won't mind. She'd probably be impressed.
If she isn't, then you must imagine what it would be like if your roles were reversed. Just imagine walking into her apartment and seeing a hundred "Precious Moments" dolls laying around! I'd say, you'd hit the ground runnin".

[futrconslr]

As a fellow single player....hide em.....She will appreciate you springing it on her later....:laugh:

[PCypert]

Hey,
Let her see em. If she comes back it was meant to be. If she leaves you you can always console yourself with another mando. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Paul

[Moose]

I usually DON'T keep any instruments(mando/guitar) "out" in the living/dining area. If only for the reason that when someone(neighbor/salesmen/my wife's relatives/friends) "drop-in", it's usually.. "....oh!, wow! who plays music here?" "what's that little instrument!?".., "...what kind of music do you play!?...yadada,yadada.. ; it then degenerates into an imprompto display of my meager abilities with request(s) that I have never heard of or I have to give a detailed autobiography of my 40+ years of the music biz.. My wife, of course, does NOT understand this type of behavior and proceeds to ask me to "..play something for {__}". To each his own. I quit giving "auditions" and "freebe" performances....long ago. I'm usually easy-goin', but SOME things I DON'T do - unless I really feel up-to it. Some things are still sacred....and I call the shots. I had my music loooong before my wife - If it came down to a choice of one or the other..., well...(!?) - Your milage my very. You'll work it out - I did. Good luck. Moose. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[Ed Ashley]

I have a friend who keeps all his instruments out on stands, but it is in a room upstairs (his home office), with a dehumidifier, and you get to see it by invitation only. If I had such a room , that's what I would do.

[Bob A]

The perils of neatness. In my living room there are over a dozen mandolin cases, same number of guitar cases, five bookcases, two tables stacked with books, a couple chairs, a couch, and a wagon full of toys. No room for humans, unless they move carefully and plan on sitting a lot. If someone asks if I play an instrument, I just look at them silently. I've successfully avoided all attempts at being auditioned that way. Also developed a fine rep for eccentricity, which serves to chase off lots of pests. Maybe not the best way to attract the gals, but they can't see me anyway, so I'm not losing anything.

[Moose]

BobA.. : Right on!! - you da man! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[DonaldE911]

Cant resist this one.....

I'm married now and my wife has more of this type of thing than I do or ever did, but its all cheap little nick nack things.... they are everywhere, but not much of an investment involved.

Having that many Mando's is a completely different story... there is a major investment involved in them. Although the ladyfriend you are bringing over may not know that initally I wouldn't want to invite any potential "gold digging" or " what we could buy if we sold all of those things" thoughts.

Thank god my wife is not a material person and would not think like that, but I have watched this very same thing happen to a few buddies.

In my opinion out of open view, but not hidden until your fairly sure you'd like this woman to visit more often. You'll have plenty of time to get used to each others "THINGS" later.

[MrSrubas]

Just imagine walking into her apartment and seeing a hundred "Precious Moments" dolls laying around! #".
that's funny, unfort. sounds like experience.
How does one hide 15 instruments anyway? beyond that how does one have time for females?
If I had that kind of MAS I would be a single guy too!

[Billy Mack]

I would have a few well placed instruments in the living area. This way you could break her in gently. Then after a glass of wine or two she may bring up the topic for conversation. You would then have the rest of your arsenal stratigically placed throughout your home. As the evening went on, you would take her on a tour to show her your collection. It should turn out to be very romantic - at least for you anyway.

[Bob DeVellis]

Lots of intriguing thoughts here. Personally, I opt for having the instruments (which look cool) visible but the cases (which don't) hidden away. My situation is different from Lee957's, my having been married to the same person for 34 years. But the issue comes up when other people that aren't established friends come by. My wife and I both work at a college, so it's not unusual for a new batch of students to be visiting for one reason or another. The mandolins do sometimes elicit wierd comments as to what strange manner of instruments they are. My preference for somewhat unusual instruments probably magnifies this. Some mandolin players don't know what the heck some of my instruments are. But hey, they're part of who I am. Most people are fascinated by the range of appearances that the "same" instrument can have, and to a point (okay, I've occasionally gone overboard here), are interested in the stories behind specific instruments or styles of instrument. So, my vote is for letting it all hang out.

[BenE]

I think mandolins are okay to have out. I would hide the banjo though! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

[Christine W]

I am all for a honesty right from the begining. To many times we try to hide ourselves or make ourselves into what we think the other person wants, all that leads to is trouble. I say have them out maybe not all in the girls face. Spread them out so it doesn't look cluttered and messy that looks like you can't take care of yourself. I also like the mandolin room idea. Musical instruments are beautiful and you would want a girl who can appreciate that. They wouldn't offend me one bit as a matter of fact you would be spending the rest of the evening trying to pry your mandos outta my hands, but thats a whole nother can of worms. Just a female perspective of course a female mandolin player's perspective so my opinion is biased.:D

[garyblanchard]

My suggestion is to do what you always do. If they are always out, leave them out. If they are usually put away, keep them put away. Amassing mandolins is what you do - it is a part of you. If a person can't accept that you need to decide if you want to change yourself for the sake of the other person or to be yourself. Obviously, some change and compromise is good in a relationship, but not when it comes to the fundamantals of who you are.

Good luck to you. I am reaching year 11 of a wonderful relationship with someone who has watched my instrument collection grow from one guitar to a ukulele, 2 guitars, 2 banjos, 2 mandolins, and an autoharp. This relationship has worked because we both work on it. May you be as lucky!

[Mandoglen]

Hey Lee957 ,
Maybe you'll luck out and find a mando-gal that can really appreciate climbing over a few cases just to get in the door. A while back , I had what I thought was a lady friend that was into mandos and came around often . Come to find out , it wasn't me , it was my 1915 F-4 that was the man of her dreams ! Oh well....... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[Lee]

Thanks for all the encouragement but I've no immediate expectations <sigh>. I'm merely thinking ahead (as usual).
I won't resort to lampshades. And only the ones on an indefinate holding pattern will be religated to the linen closet. As is my nature, the "let it all hang out" approach is most appealing. Besides, Billy Mack's strategic placement system offers distinct possibilities...

[duuuude]

I'd leave 'em out & talk to 'em from time to time, even sharing a private joke with one or two, then every so often get up without a word, play a quick riff on one & then sit back down & explain to her that they get cranky if not attended to regularly. If she's still there after half an hour, she's a keeper!
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[dixiecreek]

dude, if I walked into a guy's house and he had 15 mandolins, I'd marry him on the spot. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[danman]

I like your original idea of keeping a couple of them out for conversation pieces. If things get serious then show her the rest of them....I've been married for hundreds of years and my wife has never minded all the different instruments that come and go throughout the house.

[delsbrother]

Love me, love my mandos.

[mad dawg]

Besides you do want a woman who sees nothing wrong with having lots of mandolins.
I'm with Jim on this one, but not only to test a potential mate's tolerance or understanding of your affliction: if she is an extravagant gift-giver, you could also use the opportunity to drop hints about other mandolins that are on your wish list. <evil grin>

[Peakbagr]

With 2 old Martins, a nice mandolin, a pending VERY nice mandolin, I usually have 1 case out and handy, sometimes 1 mandolin and 1 guitar.
My preference is to have them mostly put away when company is over. Don't want kids jumping on them or, heaven forbid, have someone be sorry they asked me to play for them. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[mandough]

Okay, I've thought this thing over...

It's much better to either have ONE mandolin out or none at all.
My reasoning is, if you have all of your mandos out, eventually, if you get a little serious with the gal, this question will come up..."Will you teach me to play?".
It may start off innocently, cute, and even endearing. You'll spend a night or two huddled around each other, teaching her chords and such. You may even get frisky after you wrap your arms around her, showing her the proper way to hold an instrument, etc.
Then the dreaded question will arise..."Can I take one of your mandolins home so I can practice that song that you taught me? You know, that Blackbenny Bosom song?"
Your eyes will stare blankly into hers for endless moments of silence. You will reply "Uhhh sure, and that's Blackberry Blossom dear."

If you choose to let her take one, then which one? You can't give her the cheapy, because that would indicate that you didn't care about her as much as she thought
(especially during those sweet moments of mandolin teaching).
You will then be forced to let her borrow one of your mid-rangers (you know, one that you don't play so much, but would never sell). Now you're stuck.

If you break up, say bye-bye to ol' #7. Even if you get it back, it will most likely be filled with cat hair. Even worse, completely dinged-up due to "Not having enough time in the day to do all of the things that I have to do AND have to put your stupid LITTLE GUITAR inside of a CAAASE!??!"

Put them away my friend, put them far far away.

[Russ(String-Alley)]

wow this is all way to much to think about, how bout' you just meet her out on the town till she knows you have MAS, then she won't think it too weird when you do head for your place, and in the waking hours of the morning ( or noonish ) she has her hair all stuck in the headstock of your "sleeper" mando http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

its a good problem to have......maybe
Cheers
Russ

[peterbc]

If there's one thing that women like to do, it's filling mandolins with cat hair...

Honestly though, if you have 15 mandolins... now don't get mad here, but maybe there is a problem? http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif Granted, I would have more than the two (accoustic, electric) I have now, but 15?! I'll help you out, send a few this way!

Peter

[bjc]

Greetings,

A quick poll around my office (where I am the only male and only musician) reveals that the ladies think it'd be cool to have them out.
I know (though spoken for now) when I was single and left my electric guitars out the ladies didn't seem to mind. They either thought it was VERY cool or didn't really care.
But I agree, banjos should be hidden...something to do with that "Deliverance" Association...

[Ranger]

it's really simple....
leave out just the "Big" mando's... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Ranger

[craig]

dude, if I walked into a guy's house and he had 15 mandolins, I'd marry him on the spot. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
jeesh, i've been going to school, keepin' fit and working hard and all had to do was buy 15 mandos . . . DOH!

[A9cp]

Step up to the plate, be honest. Why hide something you like.

[Rich Michaud]

Most of my dozen or so mandos are hugging the living room wall next to the piano. In front of them is my pick n glider. My harmonicas are on the piano along with Hector-my charango. The guitar is under the piano. The humdifier and dehumidifier take up one corner. Smack dab in the middle of the living room is my wife's tenor sax...I say let it all hang out..

[Lee]

I'd hope she brings something else into the relationship other than her love for my mandos. If she plays piano, and has PAS, we'll really have something to discuss. Like shopping for a conservatory with an attached house. Mmmm, what a thought...

[Laura Melden]

If there's one thing that women like to do, it's filling mandolins with cat hair...




:disbelief: He said that like it's a bad thing ???!!!?? :grin:

[chasray]

I am all for a honesty right from the begining. To many times we try to hide ourselves or make ourselves into what we think the other person wants, all that leads to is trouble. I say have them out maybe not all in the girls face. Spread them out so it doesn't look cluttered and messy that looks like you can't take care of yourself.biased.:D

Christine has some wisdom there. You want a good impression but not a false impression.

By the way, I've been feeling kinda guilty b/c I have 4 mandos. Been thinking about selling two so that I can...guess what...buy a more expensive one! I've been married for 32 years (7 glorious years -- just kidding dear) and she doesn't mind. It's because she sees the enjoyment it gives me. And the mandos are paid for.

[JEStanek]

Wow, this thread is back form the dead, 4.7 years old!

Jamie

[chasray]

We just need to know if he's married now....

[opie wan]

This is too good to pass on.

Hiding: Pro: If you have your act together, and you're looking for a "serious" girlfriend it'll likely be a pleasant surprise that a guy could be so smart and on top of things and "also be a musician." Sort of a bonus for her later. An aside: When my wife and I met she had no idea I was a musician. She thought the fire Captain thing was pretty cool. When I broke out the Telecaster 5 years later and started getting serious as an artist she was pleasantly surprised. I never told her that I'd once received air-play as an artist... and she thought it was cool when it finally came up. Now, she's never asked me to sell an instrument.

Con: She says, you never played those things and we need the money for a house, you should sell them.


Showing: PRO: She always wanted to "do" a mandolin player? I doubt it. I guess it depends on if you meet your lady friends at "The Station" or the library. Back when I was young and owned a recording studio in Austin I asked the lady out that cut my hair. I was one of the guitarist in Austin at that time. I had her over and played a song for her that was on the radio (she didn't listen to that station... rock and roll and all). I was telling her about the guitar licks I was playing and she asked me 2 or 3 times "who's singing?" I finally answered her with "me" and she immediately got all over me. Ya just never know what a woman likes until you ask her.

Showing: Con: Also, she may have been burned by a musician in the past.... and you know... a musician IS a musician. Mandolin players AREN'T anything special. Plus, musicians tend to be drug addicts, alcoholics, and general screw ups that never amount to anything. It COULD be that being a musician is something she wants to change about you in the interest of improvement and to show you she cares for you!! Yikes.

Just don't let her make you quit playing no matter how it starts. You shouldn't take an artists tools from him/her no matter what the motivation. God didn't give you the gifts to bury.

[Jason Nagati]

Based on the answers I get for "Why do you need 15 pairs of black shoes?", a woman should understand when a man has 15 mandolins.

[man dough nollij]

Jason, that would imply logic. Not applicable in this situation.

[JEStanek]

For either party... ;) :disbelief: :grin:

Jamie

[Randi Gormley]

I'm curious, too, whether the imagined ladies ever came to pass and what the final decision was ... but I'd be for keeping them in their cases and stacked around a (single) room, myself. That's what our living room looks like. The mandolins, guitars, piano/keyboards, fiddles, flutes, recorders, penny whistles, drums/bodhrans, dulcimer, banjo and percussion/xylophone are all out there, but there are so many, they kind of cover each other up. The few people who come to visit seldom step foot in the living room unless they're on a tour, or over to play music with us. I own about 4,000 books, and they're on floor-to-ceiling bookshelves throughout the house, upstairs and down. Imagine dating someone who either didn't see them, didn't comment on them or felt they were excessive -- would I want to spend time with them for more than a single date? I'd want to know straight off, frankly.

[jim simpson]

Instruments and relationships, an interesting dynamic. I had to explain recently why I wanted to get a new amplifier when I play in all acoustic bands. My wife has fortunately been very supportive of my instrument buying and my activity playing out over the many years. I like to leave a few instruments out for easy access.

[Mattg]

easier to explain 15 mandolins than 15 cats

[allenhopkins]

easier to explain 15 mandolins than 15 cats

And, honestly, the mandolins smell better...

Who did decide to dig up a thread from '04? And what's the point of getting very far into a relationship with someone, when you feel you have to hide one of the more important/interesting/relevant parts of your life from him/her?

If there's anything that gets me fulminating in a choleric fashion, other than taking old American mandolin trademarks and assigning them to Asian imports (take that, Epiphone/Washburn/Regal/Flatiron etc.!), it's the idea that playing or owning mandolins is something one has to [1] be embarrassed about [2] hide from a spouse/partner [3] get said spouse/partner's permission to continue or expand. It's not like substance abuse, cross-dressing, or compulsive gambling (they have their separate charms).

Playing the mandolin, and owning mandolins to play, is wholesome, all-American, self-fulfilling, creative, and entirely praiseworthy. And as long as one isn't taking the rent or grocery money and spending it on Tone-Gards or D'Addario J-74's, one should go ahead without embarrassment or trepidation. I sure have, and I ain't a bit ashamed of it.

[man dough nollij]

I haven't read every post in this thread, since it's so old. Someone may have already expressed this sentiment...

A new friend may not be familiar with the psychology of MAS. If we have a housefull of crazy instruments, a "normal" balanced person might not have a clue why you would possibly have more that one.

To most of us, it makes perfect sense, but it might look like a symptom of OCD or "Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome" (CCLS) to the average Joe or Jill on the street.

It might be a good idea to ease our new friends into the depth of our obsession.

Just a thought. :whistling:

[swampstomper]

When I have new friends (lady or otherwise) over I have the open-back b**jo, the Lebeda A5, and the Furch D34 out where they can be seen, in my "music corner", not in their face but where they can be observed. My first test is to see if they recognize any of them (other than of course the guitar). Then the requests they make. If it's for Deliverance or Country Roads or Zorba the Greek, the party is over! One of these days (hasn't happened yet!) it will be "can you play Old Daingerfield on all of those?"

[viv]

dang, hadta wipe my eyes more than once readin these.....good stuff here :)).

first, cats should NEVER be bagged.....

i say leave 'em out.....i have one little beater mando and a few guitars, more than my questionable talent warrants having, and i live in a very small house. seemed like guitars were all over the living room, taking up much needed space. there's this psycho (or sane?) part of me that demands order.....so i put them in my bedroom to see if that made the psycho happy. it did, but the rest of me missed them. it looked weird --and felt weird--for them to be hiding. they're part of who i am, questionable talent and all, and they make me happy. so they're back in the living room, in plain sight but out of the line of fire known as my daughter sarah grace, and we're all fine.

i said all that to say this: if you like having them out, keep it that way. if a lady is to be your friend, she'll have to be friends with all of you.

for the record, my perspective is female.

[Laura Melden]

Who did decide to dig up a thread from '04?


:popcorn: That would be me!

I bumped it, but I didn't expect it to resume a life of its own! :disbelief:

(If I had my way I'd have 15 cats AND 15 mandolins. :)) )

[Mike Bromley]

dude, if I walked into a guy's house and he had 15 mandolins, I'd marry him on the spot. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Lee, I think we have a solution to your dilemma.:)):whistling:

Simply, If you have to ponder hiding your 'hobby' or adjusting your life radically to accomodate a potential significant other, it's time to reconsider the merits of that liason!

[John Flynn]

It doesn't matter. If she's not a potential mate, it makes no difference. It probably doesn't change your "chances" either way.

If she IS a potential mate, she'll be in the "sales mode." She'll say, "Oh, that's really neat that you have 15 mandolins!" But she will be thinking, "Those are outta here once we're married (or whatever the coupling arrangement might be). We could buy some furniture (or whatever) with what we could sell those for." A lot of my musician friends complain, "Yeah, I used to have (fill in the names of great instruments) before I got married."

[JEStanek]

Bummer, guys. I guess I got lucky. My wife and I both have expensive hobbies. We each support each other in them and, that, I believe, is the key. She has a horse and it really provides her with the same quality of emotional/spiritual outlet the mandolin does for me. Granted hers costs a lot more than mine (monthly board, vet care (that she can't provide) farrier, etc.). I had to stop thinking that monthly board was a Mid Mo a month because that put my head in a bad spot. She earns what it takes to keep her horse around. She even funded my Spira flat top so, I'm not complaining.

For the record, I think kiding things from your SO is a bad idea. It implies a lack of trust and that is what my relationship is built on (YMMV). Neither of us make significant purchases without consulting each other. We're in a partnership. Anyone can get married, all you gotta do is show up. To stay married takes work!

Jamie

[Bernie Daniel]

Mike Bromely: Simply, If you have to ponder hiding your 'hobby' or adjusting your life radically to accomodate a potential significant other, it's time to reconsider the merits of that liason!

Yes indeed.

It is an old post but might be more relevant in 2008 than in 2004.

Why would ANY guy have to try to cover up a perfectly respectible hobby from a woman? In this case we are talking about a prospective girl friend.

Apparently the mandolins that he has, ostensibly, were purchased with own coin? Isn't this nonsense?

Should he go into her closet and ask her about how many pairs of shoes she has and why she needs them? :)

At least mandolins have resale value! Someday down the road he will be wondering why he has to ask permission to spend his own money to buy an new fishing lure! :))

[man dough nollij]

Should he go into her closet and ask her about how many pairs of shoes she has and why she needs them? :)




If she had 76 pairs of shoes on stands in her living room, I might take pause...:popcorn:

[Bernie Daniel]

John Flynn: If she IS a potential mate, she'll be in the "sales mode." She'll say, "Oh, that's really neat that you have 15 mandolins!" But she will be thinking, "Those are outta here once we're married (or whatever the coupling arrangement might be). We could buy some furniture (or whatever) with what we could sell those for." A lot of my musician friends complain, "Yeah, I used to have (fill in the names of great instruments) before I got married."

Well this is not a marriage counseling forum and I am not taking issue with you John -- but I would just comment that if these musician friends could not speak up and stand up and defend their passions and their interests in life -- then maybe they really didn't deserve to own those instruments in the first place?

I think people need to respect and believe in themselves before they can respect others -- but that's just my opinion. A wife who thought it her right to regulate her husband's hobbies might not be worth the effort?

But I do agree this is the kind of thing a lot of men seem to think is apropros these days -- but does it lead to healthy relationships?

[John Flynn]

Well, Bernie, I am not taking issue with you either, but all that new-age psychobabble aside, I think there are a lot of average guys out there who know what I'm talkin' about.

[Leigh Coates]

Yes indeed.

It is an old post but might be more relevant in 2008 than in 2004.

Why would ANY guy have to try to cover up a perfectly respectible hobby from a woman? In this case we are talking about a prospective girl friend.

Apparently the mandolins that he has, ostensibly, were purchased with own coin? Isn't this nonsense?

Should he go into her closet and ask her about how many pairs of shoes she has and why she needs them? :)

At least mandolins have resale value! Someday down the road he will be wondering why he has to ask permission to spend his own money to buy an new fishing lure! :))

==============================================

Why is it that men seem to assume that all women have a closet full of shoes?? Not all of us are modelled after Paris Hilton,... I am a woman, I have 3 mandolins and 2 pairs of shoes. So there!

[Bob Aliano]

You're asking for big trouble if you're thinking about deceiving a future mate. The mandos are part of the package.

[catmandu2]

Two things:

First, as essential as mandos are...cats are better.

Second (and this is most salient), remember the unvisersal law: that which couples initially find endearing about each other eventually becomes an irritant. Case in point: my wife let me have five dogs and five cats. Now, she's complaining when the cats "mess with the christams tree."

[Bernie Daniel]

Leigh Coates: Why is it that men seem to assume that all women have a closet full of shoes?? Not all of us are modelled after Paris Hilton,... I am a woman, I have 3 mandolins and 2 pairs of shoes. So there!

You get my vote! And I certainly support your three mandos -- money well spent madam-- IMO.

Well I'm not a women and I have more than several pairs of shoes too -- 2 for dress (brown and black), one of hiking, two for running, one for outdoor work and two for work work. Footwear has it's rightful place. My point was those who have dozens of pairs and they exist.

But the number of shoes is a not really the main point here is it?

Rather it is control over one's inner spirit and life -- a man who would let a women make him sell mandolins -- that he acquired before he met her -- is what I took issue with. That man is still looking for another mother not a wife or companion.

And I don't care who the man is and who the woman is or what the "reason or excuse" -- its not a healthy partnership if one person dictates the "fun life" and the passions of the other. Period. IMO of course.

I think a lot of men these days need to think about being "persons" first -- again IMO.

[mandroid]

Mandolins don't need their litter-box emptied, ..

{OK, they do need their strings to be changed, occasionally}

AND, my landlord did not say I could not have a mandolin,

it never came up,

but Apartment rental contract did have a 'no pets' clause..

~o) ~o)

[Leigh Coates]

Well I suppose, technically speaking, I have more than 2 pair of shoes; add to my list cycling shoes, winter boots, hiking boots, and slippers. But I'm not emotionally attached to any of them. Well, maybe the alpaca slippers,..... ;>)

[Bill Snyder]

... as essential as mandos are...cats are better...

That depends on the recipe. :mandosmiley:

[Steve Jeter]

Face the music , my friend. My first wife didnt want us to spend any money unless it was on her. My second , exactly the same. Now I have a sweet , beautiful wife that understands that this is what I enjoy. I have a 3 mandos& 2 guitars and some other stuff.
It could be worse , I could want a 20K bass boat.
Better be upfront , or you may eventually be sorry.
Hear me now & remember me later :))
Steve

[JGWoods]

I think mandolins are okay to have out. I would hide the banjo though! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

Hey my wife married me because I play the banjo....
(maybe other reasons too)

[Laura Leder]

I agree with Leigh! There are a lot of women out there who would have no problem with the number of mandolins you have...as long as you are willing to share...

Laura;)

[catmandu2]

My wife is a psychotherapist who often treats couples. But, even I know: no neurotic obsessiveness is attractive--even musical ones. (Believe me, I know from experience...:mandosmiley::)):crying::mandosmiley: :)) ...an owner of ~75 instruments...in addition to the cats and dogs)

Hide it...at least until another loves you enough to deal. Then, after you've obtained undying love...lay it on 'em...in its full, glorious, hideousy.

[mandolinplucker]

About 15 years ago my girlfriend (now my wife) spent the weekend with me. She went to sleep and I wasn't sleepy so I went to the living room and turned the amp down low and strapped my stratocaster on and played a while. She got up and looked in to see what I was doing. She told me later that she wondered how much time she wanted to spend with a man who stood around in the dark, in his underwear, in the living room, with a guitar over his shoulder,and playing the blues. Years later I have my guitars, mandolins, ukuleles, and harmonicas and a special lady who puts up with me and my music. If she can't accept your passion for things other than her; she ain't no keeper.

[lovethemf5s]

You get my vote! And I certainly support your three mandos -- money well spent madam-- IMO.

Well I'm not a women and I have more than several pairs of shoes too -- 2 for dress (brown and black), one of hiking, two for running, one for outdoor work and two for work work. Footwear has it's rightful place. My point was those who have dozens of pairs and they exist.

But the number of shoes is a not really the main point here is it?

Rather it is control over one's inner spirit and life -- a man who would let a women make him sell mandolins -- that he acquired before he met her -- is what I took issue with. That man is still looking for another mother not a wife or companion.

And I don't care who the man is and who the woman is or what the "reason or excuse" -- its not a healthy partnership if one person dictates the "fun life" and the passions of the other. Period. IMO of course.

I think a lot of men these days need to think about being "persons" first -- again IMO.
I love this Dear Abby stuff.:))

[Bernie Daniel]

mandolinplucker: If she can't accept your passion for things other than her; she ain't no keeper.

There it is - all in on succient, short statement and you can insert a he/him for the she/her if it applies -- because it goes both ways.

And yes this is Dear Abby stuff -- and for my part I promise never to do it again! In fact, as I sit here I can't imagine why I ever weighted in on this in the first place. Good grief! :)

[chasray]

And yes this is Dear Abby stuff -- and for my part I promise never to do it again! In fact, as I sit here I can't imagine why I ever weighted in on this in the first place. Good grief! :)

O come on Bernie. Thanks for sharing. It's been an entertaining thread, and besides, some need to read this!

[greg_tsam]

Hang them from the ceiling suspended by fishing line and call it modern art or your contribution to musical history or your mini museum.

[Greenmando]

My wife seen the b**jo, mandolin and guitar and asked if we could jam together. knew she was a keeper.

[Lee]

At first, I kept them discreet. Just a couple in view so she knew I wasn't in a one-mando commited relationship. Gradually I exposed more and her opinion seemed to evolve from admiring a curious method of artistic expression to a more distasteful wonder about how much time I spent "playing with" those things. After the mando cases were making it difficult to tiptoe through the living room she wanted me to come over to her place to the point that that became the exclusive plan of action. I was very close to bringing a mando to leave at her house so I could practice while she was not yet home, or off doing other stuff. Luckily I didn't.
In short, I'm too laid back, and that was that.

[JeffD]

They are mandolins for goodness sake.

Imagine if you had an extensive collection of toy robots. Now that would be a yikes!

[Bernie Daniel]

chasray: O come on bernie. Thanks for sharing. It's been an entertaining thread, and besides, some need to read this!

:) tx.


JeffD: Imagine if you had an extensive collection of toy robots. Now that would be a yikes!

Or a room full of video games and comic books? So considering all the possibilities -- a room full of mandolins ought to be a blessing! ;)

[Lee]

This thread could have turned out to be a godsend for me. I just checked out Laura Leder's Cool Mandolin Company website and they're located just around the corner from me. I must pay them a visit.
www.coolmandolin.com

[ddshelden]

i thought this was going to be about glue.

[GTG]

I guess this thread resolved itself, in the 4 years since it began. But I'd have to wonder about some of the reasoning behind having that many mandos too. Are you a professional musician (presumably, a mando player)? If so, no problem - you should be proud of your collection, and it makes sense to have many instruments for various types of music, sound, playability, etc. Did you used to be a pro, or are you very good? Again, no worries, but you should expect that you'll have to play for a potential mate at some point, probably somewhat regularly. Assuming you play competently (but not at a pro or semi-pro level), are the instruments investments? Ok, this is kind of a cool idea that has been discussed here many times: enjoy the instruments, treat them well, and sell them as needed, when they are getting ignored or what, if their value increases, etc. But if you don't play particularly well, aren't treating the instruments as investments, or don't plan on ever reselling them or giving them away (eg to family members), but merely like them hanging around (presumably you don't have time to play any of them very much, and I'd guess some of them haven't been played in months or years) - then it does come across as a bit odd, and you should expect to have to explain yourself. Again, it's probably best not to hide these things, it's not necessarily shameful, but just expect the question to come up.

I like the parallels to other, presumably nonsensical (to a non-enthusiast) collections.

"I have 15 breadmakers! Yes, they all sort of do the same thing, but you know..."
15 pottery wheels?
15 bicycles?
15 different US Civil War era dresses (that all sort of look the same)?

Really, these don't sound that bad, and neither does 15 mandos. But yeah, expect to do some explaining.

[Lee]

Collecting is a common trait of an enneagram type-5 with 4-wing sort of behavior, which I should learn to control better. In the bunch, there's some redundant emandos, and a few too many f-holes, but other than that, there's not too much overlap, and still no scroll. And I'd like to sell off a few too, they've appeared in the classifieds and not sold.
- there's four ovals: Grandad's bowlback, vintage Bacon, an OW and a Brentrup hybrid.
- OW Mandola
- Flatiron bouzouki
- two 5-string Schwabs, one 4-string Schwab,
- Mandoblaster
- Mann emando
- three A5 types
- OW C# f-hole
- Phoenix Jazz
Luckily, I don't play piano...

[man dough nollij]

Hey Lee,

I haven't done my Enneagram in years. I think I'm a 3 and a 9, if I remember right. I know on the Briggs/Meyers I'm an INFP.

I have an interview for a really cool job developing corporate leadership training tomorrow-- I'll get to use all that fun stuff again.

Lee

[Eddie Sheehy]

At first I used to lay awake at night thinking.."She'll notice.. and burn the lot...."
But now I've almost reached saturation point...when I could 3 or 4 more and she wouldn't know the difference.... I'd be ok if wasn't for all the dang cases....

[allenhopkins]

Are you a professional musician (presumably, a mando player)?

Yes.