I may be in deep trouble

[Blind_Cowboy]

I know this is another wife thread, and for that i'm sorry. But, I was told, in no uncertain terms, NO MORE INSTRUMENTS! Which is understandable. I am the first to admit that i've got too much stuff.

But then:

Violin Purchase (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3716327283&category=38108&sspagename=STRK%3AMEBWN%3AIT&rd=1)

I can't even play the violin. (But I also couldn't play the mandolin, and i'm learning that.) I don't know why I did it. It's an addiction, I think. I don't know if it's an addiction to E-bay, or to Music, or to cheap chinese instruments.

I'm pretty sure she's going to kill me over this one. I am deathly afraid of that 5'4" little woman.

I need a good cover story, quick. Any help appreciated

Blind (and most likely dead ) Cowboy...

[Ken Sager]

$40 total spent for a violin and you're afraid?

Friend, you've got bigger problems than a 5'4" woman. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Good luck,
Ken

[Bill James]

I'm fabricating a story for you but I need to know if you are really blind since that could be advantageous in this situation.

My pricing is as follows:

Story with blindness angle $50.00

Story without blindness angle $150.00

Guaranteed you won't get killed but you may experience some discomfort.

Paypal accepted. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[mandolinquent]

it says the winning bid was a little over $20. if the case in the picture is the one you're getting, that case alone is probably worth more than $20! The violin probably sounds like junk, but still playable! Now you just have to learn to play to justify your purchase! lol

[cutbait2]

never underestimate the potential violence of the female. the violin does not represent $40 squandered in a moment of lost commen sense to the female, but all the time you'll spend diddling with it when you could be painting the kitchen, landscaping the yard, watching the baby, visiting her mother, and on and on, you're in a tough spot my friend, better to take like a man, tell her this its my way or the the highway or you're in for a long one.

[Tom C]

I tried topick up my friend's daughter's fiddle. I was not able to do a thing with it. The left wrist has to turn more and looking at it from a different perspective (bottom of fiddle to the top) with it up around the neck was difficult. Plus that aweful screeching noise...

[Blind_Cowboy]

Cut bait hit the nail on the head. She could care less if I spent $40 or $400. It's the fact that she said, "No More Instruments". When I get a new toy, I get a bit obsessive. (But $40 bucks to the door?!?! HOW CAN YOU PASS THAT UP!?)

As for the blind: I don't watch the news, local or global events. I don't listen to any broadcast that starts with the words, "This just in.." My dad says i'm blind to the world around me. One day I just got tired of the glorification of death and destruction. So, I turned it off. I choose not to see.

[duuuude]

Tell her it was a suprise for her, since you thought you heard her say something once about liking fiddle music, then you can use the old thoughfulness routine, and make sure to look hurt when she hollers that she never said anything of the sort. Been there, done that, dang I'm good.
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[Ken Sager]

Tell her you buy instruments because she doesn't make you happy any more.

THEN you'll have something to be afraid of!

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Ken

[GTison]

#! you better get in the habit of buying her something she likes.

#2 you think she's mad now just wait till you try to play a fiddle!!!
nerves of steel won't help.

[Moose]

"Take no prisoners", boys... Women really ARE different - (well MOST, anyway). The "kicker" is J-E-A-l-O-U-S-Y. Pay 'er off an' KEEP PICKIN!http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif

[doanepoole]

Cover story here is easy enough:

Someone at work bought it for his kid, his kid didn't want it, and he asked if you wanted it, so you took it.

Easy as pie.

[8ch(pl)]

You could always tell her that you bought it to make a lamp out of, then never get around to it.

[Moose]

You guys are a most ingenious bunch... ; lot's of good material here. hee.. hee.. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[sbarnes]

i'd tell her to **** off and find another (younger, prettier, richer, slimmer, music loving, hard working, mind her own business type) of woman....
just my opinion though......

[Blind_Cowboy]

I like Ken's idea. If I can work an angle where my purchases are some indication of me escaping my life, maybe I can get a bit of simpathy. "I'm sorry honey. Maybe if we "tried" harder in our relationship, I wouldn't look elsewhere for happiness."

Nah, after 12 years, she'd see right through that line. And she'd turn it around and bite me on the keaster with it.

Just got off the phone with her. Told her I bought something on E-bay, and she said, "It's not another 'toy' is it?!?" In a knee jerk reaction, I said "No".

Now I got a lie to deal with on top of it all.

Dead man walking. (And picking)

[jlb]

Here's a novel idea: just tell the truth...that you could not comply with her unreasonable ultimatum.

As Tony Soprano would say, "Marriage, or any partnership for that matter, is a give and a take."

[garyblanchard]

This sounds pretty familiar to me. A few months ago I too was bit by the fiddle bug and bought just about the same fiddle as you for the same price. I used the "it was too good to pass up" arguement and pointed out that $25.00 to see if I could play the fiddle was a great savings. She didn't stay too mad too long.

As I read these posts I am reminded of the Jeff Foxworthy routine where he describes the guy's very apologetic and pitifully begging call home. He then goes back to his friends and describes how he told her off. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

[Russ(String-Alley)]

RUN!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!
(sound of pots and pans clankin' cats a screeching, dogs a-barkin')

best of luck man, We do understand
Russ

[jom]

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but if she's that adamant about it, why don't you stop buying instruments? http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[duuuude]

Cowboy, Cowboy, Cowboy, you done tipped yer hand, now yer only choice is to show up with candy, flowers, or some other worthless nonsense, oh, and don't forget the sad puppy eyes, good luck!
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

Yep....definitely "pay-off" time.

[KYGirl]

Good one duuuude!!! #Now that's quick thinking:)

[Ken Sager]

Walk in, put the violin on the table. When she calls it a toy you say "Toy? You think this is a toy?"

Then you shake your head slowly and ask "When did you stop understanding me? When did the only thing outside our marriage that brings me joy lose all meaning to you?"

Then go to the cabinet and take out the biggest bottle of whiskey and a tumbler. Sit in your favorite chair and quietly drain the bottle over the course of 3-4 hours with no TV or music. Scratch your chin a lot.

Stay in bed for three days.

She'll come around. #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

Best,
Ken

[duuuude]

Yer bigger problem may just be all this sage advice from us ignorant males, best to maybe get advice from the "other side".
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[John Flynn]

Make her a deal:

You'll agree not to buy any more instruments, if she'll agree not to buy any more shoes. Then you can start to negotiate from a position of strength.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[Blind_Cowboy]

Hmm. I thought I posted a follow up, but I guess not. So, here it is again.

She called around lunchtime to tell me that she was at the mall buying our son his easter outfit. And, oh, by the way. She bought a little something for herself while she was there. "Wonderful! I'm sure you'll look beautiful in them." "Oh, by the way. That purchase on E-bay was a violin for $40.00. And, the folks on mandocafe said that if you don't like it, then you can live with it, or leave. A couple of them said I should buy you flowers, or a bribe. But, since your arms are loaded down with goodies, then I guess we're square."

She said she loves the violin, and she didn't know I was interested in it. As long as i'm not getting another guitar, knock yourself out.

I Love my wife. And she's purty too.

[Dru Lee Parsec]

You Win!

[Moose]

Heeeyyyy..!! You "lucked-up".. Of course, you can always keep these post suggestions for a future "purchase"(i.e. MAS!!)... hee.. hee..:

[mandolinquent]

Wow, after reading some of those posts I began to feel like you all dont like women very much! #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif #We're not all jealous, man-eating, and shoe-hungry! I'm glad yer wife was happy with your purchase, she sounds like a nice woman! However, if my husband was spending too much money and time on something and after I asked him to stop he didn't, well then itsa shoppin' i go! In my case though, my addiction is the same as all of yours- instruments! *and sometimes shoes too!* # #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Brookside]

I've said it before, do whatever you want and take your butt-whuppin like a man.

What's hard about that?

[John Bertotti]

Hey fyi,
A) A woman just put out a book the title is something like "The proper care and feeding of your husband". Tha guys I know that bought it for there wives have all said that within a week of finishing the book there wives and marriages had well improved for the better.

B) This is for you women. I will try to put this tactfully. Men are simple beasts. I know I'm a 38 year old simple beast married for 13 years with no problems. I told my wife we are simple. Don't read between the lines because we didn't write anything there. If you want to keep your man happy there are three main things; 1) keep me happy in bed. ( I described it in one word for her.)
2) feed me
3) don't nag
fulfill these steps and there will never be any problems.

C) For the men. Women look for the little things. and it is easy to do as long as you consider it low cost relationship insurance. Do this and you will generally have no problems.
1) Bring her flowers just because, at least once a month.
2) Tell her you love her every morning
3) Tell her how good she looks everyday. Especially when she doesn't
John http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

[justwrite]

Blind Cowboy, you remind me of a Jackson Browne song, "Doctor my eyes have seen the years . . ."

[Yonkle]

Just tell here you traded one of your Banjo's for the fiddle, and she will love You!

[Hondo]

Boy, am I ever stoopid! My wife told me this weekend that she'd like to go out and buy me a new mando, and I said no, she didn't need to do that, that I was enjoying saving my nickels and dreaming about THE ONE that I would buy in a year or so. I spose I should kick myself... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

[krishna]

Lieing only digs you in deeper.Tell her the truth and DON"T WAIT for it to get to the door! Love does not mean keeping secrets...

[Bill James]

Do this and you will generally have no problems.
1) Bring her flowers just because, at least once a month.
2) Tell her you love her every morning
3) Tell her how good she looks everyday. Especially when she doesn't


John,
Do you have kids? I'm thinking you don't because we have kids and I gotta say life is anything but simple. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[sailaway]

my suggestion is: carefully go through all of the cancelled checks and visa receipts and the like and find her spending a lot more than $40 on a handbag or sweater or household doo dad or the like -- then in an injured tone of voice ask, how could you make me give up the I love so much when you are spending our money on this kind of junk ? (itemize reciepts here, total $ a lot more than your new violin !!) -- in 10 years you will have the musical instruments but all that trash from stores will be GONE -- I justify MAS and DAS by pointing out how much the spouse can sell these for if I kick the bucket first.... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif ....

[Nik-chick]

Duuude: Exactly what I was about to say. *L* This thread should be retitled 101 ways to tick off your wife.

-------

SBarnes: Uh...yeah....and where is he gonna find that? The whole list in one person, anyway? Girls, anyone fit that description or know anyone who does?

-----

Glad it worked out. Maybe you should, as juvenile as this sounds, give each other a small allowance every week (based on income and budget) to spend on what you want rather than needing each other's aproval for everything. I wish my parents would do that. I know if I ever get married that is SO what I'm going to do (if not keeping a joint account and two personal accounts).

[mandorado]

Dude, I did the same thing ... and got a fiddle as well. Just tell her you bought it, and YOU"RE SORRY you didn't consult her ... and most likely, she'll forget about it. I haven't heard a word about mine since I told my wife I got it. And dang, those little fretless suckers are hard to play, aren't they?
Honesty is truly the best policy.

[John Ely]

I dunno what to tell her, but I'm putting a bid in on one of those fiddles.

[JGWoods]

Yer bigger problem may just be all this sage advice from us ignorant males, best to maybe get advice from the "other side".
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif
Why bother? when I get advice from the other side I:
don't understand it.
Ignore it
Do it wrong

I'm left with:
"Honey we aren't the same- we're complimentary parts of a whole. One of us has to do it and in this case it's me...I don't expect you to like it anymore than I like (put in her favorite thing that you can't stand- (opera, bingo, knitting, visiting mother in law)

28 years and counting- with 6 banjos, 2 mandos, 2 guitars, dobro, kazoo.

gw

[carolynbeth]

All I can say is, after reading this thread I have a new-found appreciation for my husband......

Sheesh....

[Moose]

hee... hee.. - Carry on, boys.. (we're tellin' far too many secrets here now..). http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[Nik-chick]

Carolyn Beth: You said it! *L* This thread made me so glad I don't date much.

[John Ely]

But, Nik-chick and Carolyn, look at it from the other point of view - he thought he was going to get griped at over a $40 fiddle! I don't think he's taking food out of their children's mouths.

[John Bertotti]

Bill no kids workin on a adoption now that invitro failed but it still seems like pretty good advice. I can honestly say that if you haven't had a wife giving herself hormone shots so she could hopefully make some eggs, you haven't experienced that dark side of womandom. Those shots make for one crazy woman. That crazy isn't exactly good. My wife was pregnant once and those mood swings were nothing compared to the ones she had with the shots. John

[Moose]

Ah!... MAS and female "mood swings"....!!??## - I'm sure we're on to something. Lot's of helpful info here. Psychology.., Sociology..., hormones..., in vitro fertilization(s).., medical ramifications of... ; - All to keep pickin(an' buyin mandos!$$$)- Keep it comin' boys(!?) - I'm enjoyin' this thread... http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[garyblanchard]

Maybe I'll open a relationship counseling service for Cafe members. I'll also do MAS counseling. I smell money here!!! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Moose]

Well.., maybe some of us can try some "controlled-playin'. - Naaaa...; If ya' pick one ya' might as well pick till' ya fall over...## - Hang around a music store an' you'll buy a... There ARE possibilities here Gary. Why not apply for a grant.. hee... hee.. Regards, Moose. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[garyblanchard]

Good idea, Moose

Federal budget is tight, but I bet they have money for something like this.

Then too, if insurance companies won't pay there are a bunch of spouses out there who will pay...

...or members who'll pay to keep me from talking to spouses. #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[DarthWoody]

Before you tell her what it is, suggest you go out to dinner. Then when you pay the bill, remark casually: "Wow, that's more than the cost of our new fiddle!"

[Nik-chick]

John Ely: Oh, my reaction wasn't to the thread itself. No, it was some of the replies that made me glad I don't date much. *L* Look at those prize responces. *L* Esp the one that said dump her and find someone prettier, slimmer, richer, hard working, and something else. *L*

Re: Female Hormones: Just make sure you don't have PMS while she has PMS!

[Nik-chick]

*LOL@typo* I have to leave that one instead of editing.

Make sure you don't have MAS when she has PMS! That's what I meant!

[Blind_Cowboy]

Just got back from an offshore job to see that the fiddle was delivered. I'll never understand how they can sell them so cheap. This thing is amazing.

BTW, we're on a single budget. When we had our son, I promised my wife that she wouldn't have to work if she didn't want to. So, she manages the funds, and we do alright. However, I can't go getting stuff without telling her. And, no matter what I may say to the contrary, she wears the pants. 12 years with her. Learned in the first 4 that if she runs the show, my life is alot easier.

[Ken Sager]

Not to be insulting, but you're whipped. I am too, but we're not talking about me.

Here's to an easier life!
Ken

[Blind_Cowboy]

Man, I'm worse than whipped. I gave her the whip and instructed her on how to use it!