starting to play again

[stevenmando]

Well even though I look at this sit every other day I have not played my mandolin for a while,some time back I tried to get involved with a group in my city I hade never played with a group before and told them that, but felt like I hade 10 thumbs could not play along at all,so I got discoraged and stopped playing. have tried to find people in the past who are in the same boat but I feel they feel the same way I do discoraged, but have dicided to go back and start playing may mando I love the mandolin and mandolin music especialy bowlbacks,so I will keep on trying to find others out there .
If any others out there have hade the same experience let me know Stevenmando in Portland Oregon http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[mr51]

I known how you feel about being discouraged with your playing, I get the same way at times.

I guess I'm what you would call a "closet player", and a prefectionist by nature. I usually shut myself in our spare bedroom, or wait until the wife's out of the house before I do much playing. I can actually play pretty decent, or so I've been told; both guitar and mandolin, only not in front of people. I worry too much about making a msitake. I can be just playing away, then someone walks in the same room and it all goes to heck.

I have been working on my "playing" problem for a few weeks, and it is getting easier to play in front of people without worrying about what they think about my playing. I've developed the attitude that as long as I enjoy it and it sounds good to me, thats all that matters. I play for my enjoyment now.

I want to reach the point where I can take my instrument and jam with my freinds, not worry about doing well or making mistakes, just enjoy the moment.

[stevenmando]

Hey I hear you Im the same way ,Im a pretty good player when Im by myself but I just freeze up when Im with others, I have tons of music that I play from classical to old time but I want to get to that point that I can join others and it is hard to find others that are feeling the same way,there are jams in Portland but I feel that I will make a mistake, and that is not the point of jams especialy when they are for just the fun of it I guess Im my own worst enamy ,the whole point of music is just to have fun playing, but one mandolin sounds good but two or four sounds great add a guitar and a violin and boy the fun realy begins that is the point that I want to get to.

[tiltman]

Steve,
Sounds like you just need to get out there and do it. What psychologists call "exposure". After a while you won't sweat making mistakes or even flubbing a whole break! Find some friendly beginner jams and get after it.
Kirk
Also in Portland,OR

[Fliss]

Hi Steven

I know how you feel! I took up playing the mandolin just over a year ago, having not played for about 20 years, and way back then just fairly basic, so I was starting out almost as a complete beginner.

Through this forum, I've met up with some fellow players in my local area - who mainly play bowlbacks, funnily enough, and I've recently bought a bowlback although my main mando is a flat top and my music of choice is Celtic.

Playing with other players who are so much better than I am is actually damaging my confidence a bit, because it makes me realise how far I still have to go, despite how much progress I've made. And I feel like I play much worse when anybody's listening than I do by myself at home, because I'm self-conscious. In the ensemble, I play very quietly and hope no-one will hear me!

But I keep telling myself that if I keep plugging away I will improve, and I've just got to be patient and work through it. I'm not going to become a good player overnight, I have to earn it.

But I'm still also making time to enjoy it, too, along the way!

Fliss

[mzuch]

Steve: what you described is happening to me right now. I picked up the mandolin late in life and I have been playing only a short time, but I went ahead and joined a local group that plays klezmer music. All of the other adult musicians (and most of the kids... OK, all of them, too) are much, much better than I am. Anyway,we have a gig coming up this weekend, and I've been discouraged that I can't play fast enought to keep up with the others. So I've decided to play every other note. It actually sounds pretty good, and I'm more confident that I won't embarass myself or the band in public. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Michael

[Keith Owen]

The beautiful thing about mandolin is that there's not many mando players out there...and the mandolin can add so much to the rhythm, never mind the melody.

Even if sitting in and only playing accent chords, say at the first beat of the measure...people think it sounds great, even though we as "closet players" have listened to enough mando music to know that we aren't that good.

The idea of playing every other note is sort of what I am talking about. Take what you CAN do, do it well, do it cleanly, and do it in public wherever possible. Then lock yourself in the bedroom and learn a little more, and bring it out the next time!

[Mark Walker]

stevenmando and mr51: #That's ME. #I play in the house when no one's around once in a while, but seldom at all. (I've even given my custom Silver Angel mandolin to a mandolin player in a local band so it'll get played - call it an 'indefinite loan.')#
I played mandolin 'in public' with a singer-songwriter in the summer of 2004; all her music was 'original' so it wasn't like someone could accuse me of not 'doing it correctly.' #
I've never had a real problem with stage fright or playing in front of people - I went back 'into the closet' after IBMA 2004 when I realized that in the grand scheme of things, most musicians have more talent in their little fingers than I have in my entire body!
I think the kicker though was when the gal I was playing mandolin for met a very prominent Michigan bluegrass band at a weekend festival which I wasn't able to attend. #A week later they were at another festival I WAS able to attend. #She'd REALLY 'talked me up' as being some 'hot' mandolin picker the previous week; after the first few songs in a jam session with them, their two mandolin players plowed me right under the table and I quickly wound up putting my mandolin away. #It was VERY apparent I wasn't CLOSE to being even a 'cold' picker - let alone a 'hot' one. #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif#
I know some people have a tendency to 'snowball' those less talented; in that situation I was placed in, I simply felt like a penny waiting for change and haven't really played since. #I don't know how good or bad I really am, but the humiliation of that event - being 'built up' to them as being so 'great' and then them seeing how truly 'novice' I was - it was just too much for me to take. #
But the clothes don't gripe at me too much or throw me out of the closet. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif #I've no idea if or when I'll ever play again. #

[Greg H.]

There are a couple of often overlooked 'truths' that ought to be considered here.

1. around 95% or more of the mistakes made when playing in public are never noticed by anyone other than yourself. I've played shows where I choked on virtually every break and then had people come up after the show and tell me I sounded great. In many cases even the other band members don't really notice the flub unless it throws their timing off. This is also true (though to a somewhat less percent) in jam sessions as quite often the other people jamming are worrying more about what they're going to play when their turn comes around than what you're playing.

2. even a mistake that is apparent to all is viewed far more critically by yourself than by anyone else. Even players like Mike Marshall or Sam Bush have bad days where things just don't come out as intended (admittedly their mistakes are far rarer and less noticable than ours, but the point is still true). The best way to deal with a mistake is either ignore it and play on (and probably no one but you will ever know it was there) or laugh and let the audience share in your fun. Unless you are in a contest no one is there to criticize your playing (we all have better things to do) but rather to share in the joy of the music.

I guess it comes down to why you are playing. If your goal is to be the next Chris Thile then you've chosen a very hard row to hoe and will probably spend a lot of time very frustrated. If your goal is to have fun, then just do it. If you're nervous about playing with others then go to jams and listen. Chances are you'll find someone at or around your skill/comfort level (and a 2 person jam session can be just as good--and often better--than a large jam). Oh, and just an observation, in many cases a few cleanly played notes can sound better than all the Thile-esque triplets possible (note Thile doesn't always use a mass of notes to make a melody--just sometimes http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif) so the best mandolin player does not always translate into the fastest.

Ok I'm done with my ramble now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

[mlbex]

When you play at home, it's quiet. When you play in (many) jams, it's noisy. This effects your play in two ways, and understanding this can help you avoid mistakes:

1) You can't hear yourself. So you can be tempted or forced play by rote instead listening. OK, your fingers know the moves, but your ear doesn't record whether they succeeded or not. You pay a penalty, and can think you flubbed it. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. How would you know?

2) You play harder. This changes your style, and can throw you off.

Three things I do to mitigate these problems:

1) Practice loud. I turn up the stereo and wail on the mandolin, not because that's the right way to play (it might or might not be), but because I want to experience playing hard. When I get in a loud jam, I know what to do.

2) Turn the mandolin towards yourself so you can hear it better. Forgetting this cost me just last night. I played lousy (I think) for the first 45 minutes of the jam, then propped my knee on a chair and pitched the mandolin about 45* towards my head. I could hear myself, and my (sense of my) playing improved immediately.

3) Accept that in a loud jam, you're going to pay a penalty. The chops you played at home might not sound as good, because a) you can't hear as well, and b) thy rhythm is probably not very predictable, c) they probably changed the key on you, forcing a last-minute transpose, and d) you're nervous because you're out in public, and all these other things are happening.

That's the way it works for me. Hope this helps.

[TinaBee1]

I’ve only been playing a short time and it does get frustrating. I want to get better but just not sure how to do that. I’m having such a hard time learning chords. My *$#@& fingers just don’t do what I want them to do!! I think you have to decide *why* you want to play. Is it to play with a band/ others or for yourself? There is a quote that I recently found from Thomas Jefferson. He was writing to his daughter on the occasion of her marriage, “Do not neglect your music. It will be a companion which will sweeten many hours of life to you.” That’s why I’m trying to learn, so when I’m that little old lady sitting on the porch with the cats I’ll have a companion :> I started so late in life I feel discouraged but as long as I can afford lessons I’ll keep plunking away. A friend of mine said that all parents should have their child taught a ‘portable’ instrument because it’s something they can take/do anywhere. Wise words, so if any of you have kids get them lessons! Steven, you keep strumming away and I’ll do the same! That’s what’s great about these kinds of message boards. I thought I was all alone learning mandolin at my ripe old age but I find I’m not. Gotta love the Internet!!

[harwilli55]

I am in the same situation. I play much better alone although I have played in front of audiences. I do know and understand that when I am in new situations, I am incredibly tense which affects my breathing, my muscle control, and my thoughts can freeze or jumble or seem stuck on fast forward, racing as it were. The loss of my finger coordination makes me feel as if I have paws !!!!

Intellectually, I know this will happen and is not a true reflection of how well I can play......but of course....that is always in hindsight......of which I can famously attest to being my greatest strength http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

I have found that when I play with others who are willing and accepting of my limitations, and are better musicians, that progress happens(not fast as I would wish or like) and I am often unaware of making any progress until one of them gets a grin on their face and picks up the tempo to push me a little further. Of course, with some tunes, I progress more quickly than on others and with some I can stumble around forever.

When we would perform in front of an audience, the compliment we recieved more than any other, was that they enjoyed our enthusiam of playing with each other and our obvious love of our music. That meant more to me than any compliment on the skill level!!!!!

For me the fun of music, whether solo,group, jam, performance comes from the shared excitement, joy, and enthusiam both with those playing and those listening.

I have always been a hack http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/blues.gif and proud of it(mostly), ....well usually, .....well OK.....when I am playing with a group of people with whom the relationship is more important than performance. I am a better hack than I was yesterday and hopefully will continue to improve.


And one day, maybe, I can find some like minded people with whom to play again. Until then, I will play to my hearts content. By the way, I am a truck driver and sit for long periods of time. So that is where I practice, with the mando between me and the steering wheel http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif


So keep in there Steve !!! Play for you !!! Find people that support and enjoy where you are at this moment !!!!

[gnelson651]

I've been learning to play the mandolin for a little over 2 years now. I've played in a mandolin ensemble until recently, in jam sessions and in a church band. I still feel so inadequate in my playing. I too seem to play fine in my room alone but when I get in front of a room of people, I tense up, can't keep up or forget the song (ones I've practices thousands of times).

It is frustrating but I keep on keeping on. I'm too stubborn to give it up! My hope is that some day it will all "click" and I can actually play fluidly and faultlessly in front of an audience. But, I'll continue to pay my dues until that day comes.