My Wife Is Mad...

[dudlebug23]

I love mandolins. I love playing them and listening to them. My wife hates them. Says they sound like a sick animal, and she prefers b#%$os to mandolin.
Well...I went out and bought a Schertler Dyn-m pickup last week, and she went through the roof. Now she wants seperate checking accounts. Anyone else have someone in their life that DOESN'T support their mandolin endeavors, musically and financially? Am I headed for divorce here?

[PickinFool]

My wife is OK with the bluegrass music I listen to and play along with. Has no problem with me playing my Martin guitar, Stelling banjo, and my Summit F5 and Gibson A9 mandolins. What she doesn't know is the three additional Martins I have tucked away in my closest(she only thinks I have two total), and my pride and joy, a Brentrup 23L. Should she find out about all this extra eye candy that I have tucked away, I'm sure she'd be mad. Divorce? I doubt it.

Hey, guys have to have toys too! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[Kbone]

You Must have separate checking accounts...hmm , not a bad idea to add to your arsenal..

[mpeknox]

I got into bluegrass music and playing the mandolin at the same time about a year and a half ago and have heard my wife say to other people more than once "I feel like I've died and gone to Dollywood hell". She really doesn't care too much for the music but she doesn't actively discourage me from playing it...just from buying new instruments.

[Bradley]

just remember.........

"Its always easier to get forgiveness,than to get permission" http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

My wife doesnt mind my MAS disease and actually supports my habit.Now, them golf clubs she doesnt like too much.Its amazing how much all them Drivers out in garage look alike...hehehe http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[Bill James]

Well...I went out and bought a Schertler Dyn-m pickup last week, and she went through the roof.

I'm with her. Electricity is for light bulbs not mandolins.

Dude the answer is simple. Get a banjo and HURT that thing!! I give her three days and she'll love the mandolin!http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[mandolooter]

What Bill said!http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

[SternART]

I knew I was in trouble when the EX wife asked me to leave the mandolin at my studio & not bring it home.
I definitely got a lot better as a player when we parted ways.......lots more practice time. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[John Zimm]

My wife can't stand the sound of the mandolin, but this actually turned out to be a good thing for me. I started out playing an Alvarez laminated mandolin, and after months of pestering her and driving her crazy playing a tinny instrument, she relented and let me get a new one because the Alvarez sounded so bad to her.

MAS has manifested itself in me by creating a desire to build my own mandolin, so now my wife gets irritated with all of the things I am buying to try and make a mandolin. A guy just can't win. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

-John.

[danb]

My wife doesn't always like what I play, but she sure supports me and puts up with a lot of practicing when I should be washing dishes!

[dudlebug23]

I didn't want to "electrify" my mandolin either, but due to the music I play and my attempts to match volume with my patner's guitar, I decided to try and get the best pickup available to reproduce the sound. My wife didn't see this as a necessity as I did.
Dan - I LOVE YOUR "SHATTER THE CALM" album. It didn't to much for my addiction, though, now I want/need a bouzouki!
Keep those complaints comin', and don't let the wife see you doin' it!

[mcmando]

I like Bradley's comaparison with golf and have used it to great effect in convincing my wife that the mandolin habit is not so bad. After all, membership at a golf course can cost many thousands, not to mention greens fees, cart fees, clubs, balls, bags, shoes, tees, gloves, etc. With those kind of numbers, the cost of even the more expensive mandos (except amybe a Loar!) looks like a small number! And, if that's not enough, a round of golf takes a good 4 hours!

[John Flynn]

My wife is mostly very supportive of my playing, with two caveats. First, I know she does not really care for it when I have band practices at the house, even though she doesn't say anything. That I can understand. Second, a year and a half ago she let me get a Rigel A+ Deluxe for my birthday. We made a big deal out of it. Now, I am thinking of getting a second mandolin. I want some kind of oval hole mando just for variety. We can afford it, that's not the issue. But she gets this hurt look whenever I bring it up and says something like, "But you still like the Rigel, don't you?" It's almost like I would be cheating on the Rigel by getting another mando! Go figure!

[Nick Triesch]

You have to understand that to most people bluegrass is horrible to their ears. Thats why they never show the bluegrass grammys on tv. My wife hates the sound. But when she hears Adam Steffey, she says now that's pretty. Mandolin really needs other instruments with it to sound nice. By itself it just hurts folks ears. I'm just used to it. And I like it. Nick

[onlyagibsonisgoodenuff]

Not only does my wife like bluegrass music, she's the guitar player in my band. Last year I bought three high-end mandos and she bought me a new Collings d-1 guitar! I think I've died and gone to heaven!

[diamond ace]

dudlebug 23, were you playing before you got married? I told my wife when I met her "I play music and I will be playing music from now on. If you can live with that great, but if not tell me now because I will still be playing music when we are through if you don't like it." She has been very suportive and never says a thing to me. It might help that she knows my dad left my mom for raising hell about the music and she probably thinks "like father like son" and she is right.
Sorry you are having such a hard time with her. She sould support you more, sonds like she says some pretty nasty things. Maybe next time she relly wants something you should cut your support a little.

just my .02

[dudlebug23]

She's only nasty part of the time. I like the golf comparison. And no, I took up guitar and then mando a few years after we were married. I was a distance runner before that. She complained about that at first too, said I was too skinny and needed to beef up...so, not by her asking, I eventually gave up the seriousness and dedication of that hobby for playing music, which she now doesn't support that much either. I can't win. I think she needs a hobby, which she doens't have by the way! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif

[MrSrubas]

I got yelled at for just looking at the bighorn the other day. almost turned in my marriage license last time MAS struck. I have two stratagies. first one being I say that the price was lots more then i really spent, and then I ease it down and tell her the real price of what we paid. the other tactic is curbing a few of my vices for a few weeks (i.e. cigs, drinking, ect,..) the latter isn't a favorite practice of mine though.

[dudlebug23]

Not only does my wife like bluegrass music, she's the guitar player in my band. Last year I bought three high-end mandos and she bought me a new Collings d-1 guitar! I think I've died and gone to heaven!
You are the equivalent to someone who marries someone who also likes the "hanky panky" as much as men typically do. Don't brag too much, we'll all be jealous! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[Brookside]

I got some good advice once from an older fellow who had been married for 40 years.

Always do whatever you want... and take your butt whuppin like a man.

[evanreilly]

My wife likes my playing; she recognizes, by tone, my different mandolins & has opinions about each one. She has never questioned my decision to acquire an instrument.
When asked if she plays, she responds that she is happy just to drive the bus!!!

[onlyagibsonisgoodenuff]

This is my third wife, so its not like I didn't make a few screwups before. Kinda like learning a new tune. Oh, I met her at a bluegrass festival. Now that's a good way to insure you're getting the correct musical orientation to start with.

[mando bandage]

My wife

walks out after midnight in the moonlight all aglow,
And she prays to Carter Stanley, won't you please tell Bill Monroe,
I'd rather be in some dark hollow or some dark deep shady grove,
Than to be a bluegrass widow.

Kudos to Robert Earl Keen

R

[Coy Wylie]

Dudebug23,

All joking aside, yes you should have a seperate checking account from the family fund. If you need to work a second job for a while or do something else on the side to earn money, that's okay, just sock it away in your own private account and buy your instruments and gear from that account. When you sell something, the money goes in your personal account. I started this several years ago and for me it is the only way to go. I would never be able to buy guitars, mandos, guns, etc... if I had to pay for them out of the family bill-paying account.

Oh yeah, one more thing... occassionally use "your" money to buy her something nice or take her on a trip. That goes a long way to grease the wheels.

[Keith Newell]

Get the banjo and play it all the time for 2 weeks, then she will love the mandolin.

I can say this because I play the Irish tenor banjo. Dont leave your car locked with the banjo in the back seat or you will come back to a broken window and doors unlocked....


=...and another 1 or more banjos thrown in on top of it....
Keith

[Fred_Murtz]

My wife has never asked me, "Honey, will you please get your mandolin out and play it for me?" #However, she does know how much I enjoy it. #For years I've talked about getting a good mandolin (to replace my $200 Aria) and last Christmas she gave me $150 to start a savings fund to get a good mando (I got a Breedlove a few weeks ago). #So while I wouldn't call her a "fan" she is supportive in a way she is supportive. #I just try to practice the most when she's not around.

[Bob Asher]

After 2 wives, 3 daughters (music never being the cause for splits), and one stepdaughter, I have found that a girlfriend
is much easier to handle. My gal loves music, can sing a mean baritone,goes to festivals with me,knows the words to every bluegrass song ever written, makes great dumplings,worships
Charlie Waller & Doyle Lawson & John Duffey, makes great
biscuits, snugs up great, polishes my acoustic bass, owns her
own home, and just can't wait till I get that brand new travel trailer next week!! Her name is Ada and I love her! Now the whole world knows. At least I know that she's not going to upset my life. That's already been done. Yes, she does have
two single sisters!!

[John Flynn]

Dont leave your car locked with the banjo in the back seat or you will come back to a broken window and doors unlocked and another 1 or more banjos thrown in on top of it....
LOL!

I heard that if leave your banjo leaning up against the dash, they will let you park in the handicapped spots!

[Dan Adams]

Back to my onstage joke:

When my first wife accused me of loving my mandolin more than her, I had to ask which one? ba da boom.

As to my screen name. "Quit plinking on that darn thing! Of course I have the bad habit of walking around the house playing, watching TV playing, talking to the family playing, doing yard work playing. When I actually restrict my practice or playing time to the music room, things are okay. She's even is supportive when the band practices at the house.

Maybe its the mandolin in every room thing? Dan

[garyblanchard]

My fiance is pretty supportive of my playing and prefers the mandolin to the banjo. (Which many would see as a sign of taste.) Because my finances are not the best, I have to be very careful in my instrument acquisitions. Carol doesn't mind my buying a new instrument if a) all my bills are paid, and b) I've talked it over with her.

I have been married twice before and had another bad "non-married" relationship before I met Carol. I have learned a lot and am more careful in my communication at this point. Having Carol in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me. #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[8ch(pl)]

The only thing my spouse supports is me supporting her.

[mando bandage]

Ask your wife for some suggestions on songs to learn, and then learn them...even if they aren't bluegrass.

Too much chopping (especially solo chopping) can set my wife's teeth on edge. But everytime I play the Londonderry Air, which, of course, I learned at her suggestion, she's putty in my hands.

R

[Bobbie Dier]

I have a husband, we've been through the whole tug of war over music.It doesn't do any good to fight over it .I do like the guy on up the page there and mostly practice when he's not home. When I see him coming up the road I put up the mandolin, I grab the broom or the laundry basket and get to work before he gets in the door. Sometime I'll splash a little pinesol around so it smells like cleaning really has been going on. (I'm just teasing.)

I also agree with the guy who said do what you want and take your butt whoopin like a man. If you do your part around the house and don't neglect your family for the sake of music you don't have anything to feel bad about. Play on. Let 'em gripe! But (I ain't saying anyones wife is like this)Some people would have you do everything THEY want. You have to draw the line somewhere.
ima

[Ted Eschliman]

I originally thought this would be a good guideline for Mrs. Mandohack to digest, so I encouraged her to read it:
The Good Wife (http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm)
Big mistake.
Seems I get to sleep on the sofa this weekend...

[Kirby161]

im not married yet but being 16 years of age i do live with my mando-hateing mom. She says i should play something "traditional" like guitar or piano. But mando is truthfully cooler than any of those.
She also wants me to be a docter. (but i want to be a skibum)

[Bobbie Dier]

mandohack,
That is hilarious!Boy how times have changed. (thank goodness) Some guys really think this is how it should be.
ima

[Dan Adams]

Pinesol as perfume..? What a great idea. What about Freeman's furniture polish, or any other good instrument polish? It could seal the deal in a relationship. See the porcelian be the porcelian. Never clean the bathrooms before practicing, its hard on the calluses.

Where is my Fret Polish When I need It! Dan

[RATFINK]

I'm only fourteen, so no wives to worry about, and my family doesn't really give a care. I guess i'm the envy of almost every guy on this post...

[neal]

RATFINK, you kiddin?! Go thru acne and first , second, third, fourth and on serious loves? Not on your sweet under-sixteen life! 'Course I wish I had your knees, mine are feeling their age......

[MandoNoob]

What if your wife/girlfriend/partner is a far better musician than you, has an incomparable singing voice to absolutely *die* for, and loves to spend those hours when we haven't got other things to do just playing music at home on the sofa...

Yes, in case you were wondering, I really *am* the luckiest man(dolinist) in the world ... #http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[levin4now]

My wife is supportive, but we are both really aware of our financial limitations. I bought my new mando with saved birthday money and ebay selloffs. She tried to reason (with a smile on her face) that those NASCAR collectibles originally came out of our joint account, and the selling of those ought to go back INTO it, but I figured there was a statute of limitations on that, and they were officially MINE. Anyway, my 'slush' fund doesn't grow to quick. My birthday was Friday and I got pretty much nothing...oh well. Got new strings a few weeks ago. Woowee!

[Christine W]

Maybe she was just peeved because you didn't discuss the purchase with her and that's were the seperate checking account coment came in?

[warren]

I said to my wife "lets have a baby and we'll call him Gibson, and if I give you a Gibson you have to get me one." Well, the day it was confirmed that she was pregnant, we saw a 1922 Gibson A1 (exactly the one i wanted) in the store window. I now have 2 Gibsons one i play with and one who plays with me.

[mandodude]

My birthday was Friday and I got pretty much nothing...
Hey, Alan!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUDDY!!

My birthday was Wednesday and I got pretty much nothing, too... only I got mine two days before you!!

...awww... I'm jus' jokin' now... actually it was a very nice birthday... cake at home... cake at work... AND my way-cool 14-year old got me the "Grateful Dawg" DVD. Now, if I could only find the time to sit down and watch it!...

;-)

Alan- #Happy Birthday. #It is widely known that April 2 is the best possible birthdate. #For my birthday (guess when) I got to buy dinner out for the family but I got to choose the restaurant. #I did put new strings on but I'd bought them myself earlier.

[duuuude]

I've been totally amused by my wife's changing views on my playing mandolin:

First few weeks - "It's nice coming home to the sound of mandolin"

Next few weeks - "Do you have to play that thing every day?"

Now it's just down to sideways glances. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

Kinda the same thing with the jams I've started, total enthusiasm at first, abject boredom by the third. Guess it's only fun when it's new?
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Randy]

When my wife and I first started dating way back in 1980, she took a trip and continually played tapes containing three hours of my original tunes. We even had two of my songs played during our wedding. Well after twenty-two years of marriage, she has gone from admiring the music to absolutely ignoring it. But I guess three kids, a mortgage and every other "joy" that life imposes on us, takes its toll.
But like a friend and I talked about some years back, it's extremely difficult, if not impossible, for someone to understand the passion for music that some of us have. I could do without a great number of things, but take away music, and you just better prepare my grave.

[WJF]

Like Evan, I'm pretty blessed in this department ... My wife actually enjoys my playing ... at least most of it; she recognizes differences in tone and asthetics in my different mandolins and she can pick out which mandolin players are taking a solo on any given recording within a few bars. She has never questioned my decision to acquire an instrument and has been *very* supportive in that regard.

Bluegrass isn't her first love by any stretch of the imagination but she's 'aquired the taste' over twenty plus years and I love her all the more for it!

[mrbook]

This is a dangerous topic. I don't expect my wife to enjoy the music in the same way I do, just as I can't find any passion for opera or some of the other things that interest her. It works both ways.

She once asked to come to a bluegrass festival with me - after years of enjoying wilderness camping from our canoe, she didn't think much of setting up our tent in a field surrounded by strangers (come to think of it, I don't, either - but I like the music). About 2 pm Sunday, when she said, "I think we're ready to go," (she had packed the car and everything), I replied, "But it doesn't end until 5." Ever since, I usually ask her to come to be polite, but make other plans - and make time to do something we can enjoy together.
We may all want a wife (or husband) who will build us an F-5, but it's good enough to have someone who understands that we enjoy what we do. Of course, I'd be happy to give her the A-model I'm building in the basement...

[BostonPops]

My wife loves music. All types of music. The problem is that as much as she loves it, she doesn't want to hear a guitar, mando, or b**** all the time. In our apartment, she can't get away from it so I have to give her some quiet time. They need to put a headphone jack on these dang things. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[weathermandolin]

My wife doesn't really like the sound of mando all that much either. Fortunately she goes to sleep a few hours before I do, so I just practice then. I figure if she can sleep through my snoring, a little picking isn't going to wake her up.

[stringburner]

I get so angry at my wife. I was playing Texas Gales on my Martin D-18v the other night, when she walked by me she said "all that sh## sounds the same", I swear, I thought I was going to break my guitar over her head! http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[WV Mike]

I guess I'm pretty lucky, but MAS might change all that. #I've been stashing my travel money savings for a new addition..maybe an old Gibson A model oval. #I've been dining on the 99 cent menu and Taco Bell and pocketing 25 bucks or so per day. #If my colesterol can handle it a little longer, I will have a grand and some change pretty soon. #

My wife tolerates my practice, but she misses most of it due to my high biz. travel. #She likes bluegrass, but gets annoyed with my Old Time fiddle and clawhammer ban%O stuff. #I compromise and use headphones for that stuff. #My 4 1/2 year old daughter loves the Old Time stuff. #She's showing interest with my dulcimer, and I'll gladly buy her any instrument she (hopefully) wants to give a try. #Then, the little lady will be outnumbered!

Good luck guys and gals!

Mike

[Bobbie Dier]

plinker8,
Furniture polish or good guitar polish as perfume? I don't want to waste that stuff it's expensive!!
ima

[Dru Lee Parsec]

Mike:

I'm currently building some Tennesee Music Boxes (A mountain dulcimer with a square body). #Let me know if you're interested in one for your daughter. #I'll work out a deal for ya.

You can see my fancier stuff here: #www.brouelette.com (http://www.brouelette.com)

Greg

[retrosurfer1959]

yeah my wife of 21 years has some issues sice I have 20 guitars and two mandolins so she says as long as a i keep it below the numbe of years of marriage she's allright. I aleays used to joke that it was cheaper than a girlfriend but she says a girlfriend would make less noise. And for those who don't like the amplified Mandolins try a Godin or a epiphone mandobird both sound great with power and can reach out over guitas and banjo's

[Russ(String-Alley)]

Hey Retrosurfer! Good seeing you on the boards.
hope you are getting some good use out of that Godin. You will really dig it when you get her out with a real loud band, it really shines there.
Cheers!
Russ

[Jonathan Reinhardt]

Adam Steffey does play pretty.
Funny topic.
Many women prefer dancing to playing (or listening) so be advised, brush up on that footwork, and hit the dance floor more often (regularly). This activity can even out the musical territory in a relationship (something you can do together) and gives a better undertanding of the need for music in our lives.

[Ken Sager]

Ok. My wife is sad she's going to miss Mandofest this year. Her job is taking her to Mexico for four weeks and she was considering quitting so she could go to Mandofest. I took her to Lawrence last year and she absolutely loved it. She's also the first to plan the next bluegrass festival weekend. I think she'd rather listen to me play the guitar solo at home, but she loves my mandolins and doesn't complain when I pick for hours. She's very patient with my practice of the orchestra pieces for Mandofest (hours of playing along with midi sounding piano pieces on CD).

She's also been slowly learning the bass, and loves to play along sometimes.

I guess I got lucky.

Best,
Ken

"No sane man will dance." - Cicero

[PapoAnaya]

Well...

My wife truly hates when I'm playing the tin whistle or the flute. For some reason she rather sees me with a stringed instrument rathern than another high pitched annoying thing. So, Mandolin, Cuatro and Guitars are ok. Well, this held true until now that I picked up the fiddle. I never saw her looking as if she were in so much pain. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif.


Luis

[tnpathfinder]

I believe Willard has the right idea.

My wife is OK with playing, however, see feels about the same way yours does in regard to deer hunting. I give her plenty of notice of when the seasons about to open and make a few deals...for instance, I try never to go hunting two weekends in a row...what I'm saying' is compromise.
It works for me...most of the time.


Good Luck. and if that don't work find a good counselor!!

[Jim Webster]

After reading this thread, I feel very lucky. My wife says I can't have a girlfriend or a motorcycle, but she seems to actually like the mandolin and guitars. She sits in on the Saturday morning jams singing harmony, playing tamborine, and some autoharp where it works. And stranger yet, she actually comes IN TO the room at night sometimes when I'm playing slide --none too well, either -- on my resonator guitar and says she just loves that sound. No accounting for taste I guess.

[Ted Eschliman]

Ok. My wife is sad she's going to miss Mandofest this year.
Ken, say it isn't so!
We're going to miss you at Mandofest. I enjoyed meeting both of you last year, and was quite impressed (no, envious!) with how supportive your wife was of your mando-endeavors.
You are truly an exceptionally blessed man!

[KYGirl]

Hello,
# This is the mando-guitar playing wife here who lives and breaths acoustic/bluegrass/old-timey music. #I met my husband at a bluegrass jam 4 years ago and at the time I didn't play anything, just loved the music. #He put a mandolin in my hands early on and we began playing and singing together. #Music is such a huge part of our life I could not imagine having a partner who does not appreciate it. #We have seperate checking acounts, always have and always will. #It just works better that way for us. #Good Luck!

Michelle

[Blind_Cowboy]

My wife is actually jealous of my instruments. I keep telling her that she sings better than they ever could with me at the helm.

[mandoJeremy]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!

[Ken Sager]

Ok. My wife is sad she's going to miss Mandofest this year.
Ken, say it isn't so!
We're going to miss you at Mandofest. I enjoyed meeting both of you last year, and was quite impressed (no, envious!) with how supportive your wife was of your mando-endeavors.
You are truly an exceptionally blessed man!
Ted,

It isn't so.

I'll be there, the mando-supportive Mrs. will be in Mexico. It was a pleasure meeting you, too, and I'm looking forward to another great event. Evan Marshall was terrific, but John Reischman AND Mike Marshall this year!? Who in their right mind would pass that up?

Best,
Ken

By the way, I think the world of a guy who helps sponsor events like Mandofest. You and Scott are heroes. Thanks for helping make it happen.

[mandofiddle]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!
Yeah, but there's nothing like my 2 year old son pointing to the mandolin hanging on the wall and saying "Daddy, mannalin? play?" And then having him crawl into my lap to pick a little bit before allowing me to play for him. There's pros and cons to each side http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Dru Lee Parsec]

Um, I almost hate to say it, but my wife is pretty good about my music. She even bought me my Breedlove KO for Christmas. When I go to the local Bluegrass jams she stays home and lets me go "pickin' with the boys" but she does enjoy coing to bluegrass festivals with me.

The problem at our house is that she likes to watch TV after dinner and I want to go practice. I hate wasting my night in front of the TV. But if I go practice then we're not "spending time together". But staring at the TV isn't spending time "together" either. Oh well, it could be a lot worse. I actually have it pretty good.

[Blind_Cowboy]

Yeah, but there's nothing like my 2 year old son pointing to the mandolin hanging on the wall and saying "Daddy, mannalin? play?" #And then having him crawl into my lap to pick a little bit before allowing me to play for him. #There's pros and cons to each side http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
I Second That.

[mcmando]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!
Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy--- thing you're missin here is this: the only way a mando can keep one warm on a cold winter's night is if you set it on fire!

[Ken Sager]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!
Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy--- thing you're missin here is this: #the only way a mando can keep one warm on a cold winter's night is if you set it on fire!
Yes, yes, yes. But your mando won't set fire to your car when it finds out you've been playing another mandolin behind its back.

So I've heard...

[mcmando]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!
Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy--- thing you're missin here is this: #the only way a mando can keep one warm on a cold winter's night is if you set it on fire!
Yes, yes, yes. But your mando won't set fire to your car when it finds out you've been playing another mandolin behind its back.

So I've heard...
Ken, Spoken like man who knows from experience! I feel for ya brother.

[mandoJeremy]

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif That is hilarious. I may be cold on winter days but it is just not worth the trade off for what I would have to give up to be warm. Hey, I even tried dating a beautiful fiddling girl and that didn't work because we were both way too weird and always right about which note was the correct one. It sort of made me feel sorry for anyone I have dated because it taught me what it was like to date a musician. Bunch of weirdos we are!

[mandoJeremy]

And Matt, I have been so ill at my mando before that I actually thought about lighting it up and watching the flames burn as I would laugh diabolically!

[Ken Sager]

Most of these posts remind me of why I am single at 27 (almost 28) by choice and why I plan on never getting married. #I will walk the road of life with my mando by my side. #It is nice to be able to go home and play for 4 or 5 hours and all I have to listen to is an occasional meow from my cat!
Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy--- thing you're missin here is this: #the only way a mando can keep one warm on a cold winter's night is if you set it on fire!
Yes, yes, yes. But your mando won't set fire to your car when it finds out you've been playing another mandolin behind its back.

So I've heard...
Ken, Spoken like man who knows from experience! #I feel for ya brother.
No first hand experience in that regard, but I've seen others suffer. As I said earlier, I'm a lucky man. Just thought I'd reveal the other side of the coin that I'll never get to see. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Best,
Ken

[mandoJeremy]

Hey, I did see a guy's wife bust his 70's model Gibson F-5 over his head at Denton, N.C. when she said it was time to go to bed and he kept on picking at 5:00 am! They were both drunk. Quite an interesting scene! Of course, being that it was made in the 70's I don't think it was a big loss! Nice kindling for the campfire.

[deaner]

Oh yea, been there done that. When my wife got the MK FS for Christmas I was very happy and she was happy with me. Less thn 45 days later I had a trade happening with a Dragonfly Custom II. I broke the news to her when she was on her lunch break and man was she mad. She did everything short of hitting me lol. She asked how much more money and I told her how good of deal i got and she just kept saying how much how much. I was in deep doodoo. The only way to extinquish her fire was when she said the kids needed bunk beds. (2 sets) and I said o.k. I'll get them. Well, she got them and $700 dollars more is what my pocket had to give up. This was just one of my many buys and trades that instruments have caused and it is always the same. I make deal and follow through, I break it to my wife gently, she blows up, I bribe her, and then we are one big happy family again. (At least for a couple of weeks)

[Moose]

"Ah, we FEW, we HAPPY few." - It's my personal opinion(and I take responsibility), that prostitution should be legalized. "women are women, but a good mandolin.., now THAT's another story! - Well, I'm 'outta here 'fore the arrows start flyin'. Carry on boys!.... EL MOOSO. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mandosmiley.gif

[fatt-dad]

Dear NG,

Jumping in late here for sure, but I too have this problem. My wife hates the sound of the mandolin. So, I play quiet (no fun), wait for her to leave the house (don't you have somewhere to go tonight) or hit the front porch.

If anyone remembers, I just spent a week in San Francisco (had a great time). For part of the week I visited my dad and step-mother, whos grandfather (from cow-country Colorado) played the taterbug). Well wouldn't you know it but my step-mother told me that her grandmother hated the mandolin also (so there is some real history here). My stepmother tells me that she would return from high-school dances and here her grandfather (they lived next door) playing the mandolin in the bathroom. It turns out that grandmother designated the bathroom as the mandolin playing room.

Well this was about all my wife needed to here. She now thinks that this is a good idea. Please help me. I offered ear plugs, continue to support her leaving the house, etc., but playing in the bathroom, whew.

fatt-dad

[dasspunk]

The bathroom is one of my favorite places to play. Tile, tub, glass and a nice big mirror. Practicing in a mirror is an excellent way to watch that right hand and make it do your bidding... I say get in there and do your bidness!

[duuuude]

Every king of the castle has his throne. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[dudleyunderhill]

My wife is mostly supportive of my music, but after I bought my fifth guitar she firmly declared that five was enough. So I bought a mandolin... I haven't looked back since! I still play plenty of guitar, but when I have a couple of hours to pick it is always the mandolin I reach for first. And when our three-year-old daughter asks me to play her a song at bedtime, well, it doesn't get any better than that.

Do you suppose she likens the tone of the mandolin to her favorite music-box? I wonder...

[mandofiddle]

Hey fatt-dad,
How many bathrooms do you have in your house? If just one, you're in luck... When the missus has to use the bathroom, you can say "Hold on, I have 15 minutes left in my practice regime". She's liable to change her way of thinking after that... If have more than one bathroom, tell her you need the master bathroom, i.e. her bathroom. She might just give you the living room back to practice in if she fears having to give up HER bathroom to the mandolin http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Christine W]

You guys are too much you should be darn happy you have a wife pickin up after your. slobby, mando playing arses. All the things wives do for you guys and this is the thanks they get. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
He he Love you guys

[levin4now]

mandojeremy,

Each to his own certainly, but I enjoy a couple hours of playing with the mando and then a few with the wife, or vice versa, or either or, etc.

[A9cp]

My little lady has this thing about a car's, street rods etc and wants to upgrade them every so often, so a new or used mando or guitar is CHEAP, until she finds out about it.

[hotpick]

I'm a woman and play mandolin. If you're wife doesn't like your playing, buy her jewerly. She'll start to appreciate it in no time. Trust me. A diamond is a girl's best friend!

[bjc]

Hey, not to spoil the party here, but I think Hotpick is correct. My wife had never really complained about my MAS or GAS...10 guitars, 2 Mandos (another one on the way), Mandola, Octave and Dobro...but she ALWAYS gets a gift of some sort when I aquire a new peice...normally something that gets her out of the house...Tee Hee

[Ken Berner]

I just can't resist this ... Bob in KY, you are blessed to have such a friend; chicken & dumplin's, bisquits . . . what time is supper? I can be there in about nine hours! Oh, by the way, please invite the sisters!!!

[Plectrum]

In my marriage, my time spent playing and aquiring guitars (GAS), has been an ongoing issue. I'm new here and mandolinless, but was ready to correct that issue.
I was ready to buy in the next couple of days having done some research here.
It's created a little tension between us. As it happened, some unexpected expenses came up and sadly I decided now was not the time to buy. When I woke up this morning my wife told me that I was a good husband and dad and how hard I worked and told me to go ahead a get the mandolin anyway. I thanked her because just hearing those things meant a lot. But, I'm not going to buy a mandolin until I've built my funds back up to a point where I feel comfortable with the purchase. So, I can't post here today about having a non-supportive wife.

[Hondo]

My wife has the ability to tune-out my mando playing, and even allows me to play it in bed while she's reading! But then I do the cooking and wash the dishes; marriage is all about compromise. Of course she has stated in no uncertain terms that bringing home a banjo would be grounds for divorce. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

And now I'm trying to convince her that she needs to take up the dobro (especially since I'd like to mess with it). Dunno if I'd be able to tune it out while reading in bed...

[mad dawg]

My wife keeps telling me that I can't buy another mandolin until I "learn to play the one I have". Talk about a tough critic! I'm really having a hard time trying to negotiate with her, since it isn't about money: I think she is scared of what our house will look like if she lets me embrace my dormant case of MAS.

[pickles]

Diamonds? Not for me. My husband better just make sure that I get as much time to practice as he does.

[Mandodoc]

A few things I did/do that might help. I practice mostly at work during my lunch time, that way I don't get on nerves. Try to help out around the house as much as possible. Limit going to jams to one or two a month, that way she is not stuck with the kids all the time. Get her involved, I made her a washtub bass so she can play too. Vary the styles you play, too much of one kind of music can get to someone that isn't all that into it. Trade in's work better than new purchases.
Good Luck to you.
jon

[Michael H Geimer]

It is my experience that some women like the *idea* of a man who's a musican much more than they appreciate the *reality* of being involved with one.

Uhhh ... do I need to say I'm single?

[Emmiemando]

I have an unsupportive brother. He appreciates all kinds of music but get very annoyed when I play. He says that the mando is way louder then his guitar (not that I have anything against it). BUt I only have to play louder because his guitar is drowning me out.
I love my big bro, but he just frustrates me a little.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[Emmiemando]

I have an unsupportive brother. He appreciates all kinds of music but get very annoyed when I play. He says that the mando is way louder then his guitar (not that I have anything against it). BUt I only have to play louder because his guitar is drowning me out.
I love my big bro, but he just frustrates me a little.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[dudlebug23]

This is great! I started this thread back in April and it lives on!!! I haven't acquired any new instruments lately, but just wait until I get my cross-country coaching paycheck! I can't tell you how many times I've been told to get out of the room with that "whiny instrument" though. It's hard when the one you love doesn't love the instrument you love. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

[mandoJeremy]

Benignus, I FULLY agree! Do you know how many girls I have dated that just loved that I was a musician until they find out how weird, moody, and dedicated "musicians" are? Yes, stay single! I know I am!

[mando bandage]

And now I'm trying to convince her that she needs to take up the dobro (especially since I'd like to mess with it).

Hondo,

I tried the same strategy, and it worked, sort of, I think. But instead of dobro, my wife took up bagpipes. The only common denominator I've been able to come up with is that Gibson makes both. I guess we'll be playing celtic at our house.

R

[Hondo]

mando bandage,

Bagpipes? Now that's scary!

[TommyK]

Diamonds? Not for me. My husband better just make sure that I get as much time to practice as he does.
Mr. Pickles:
You need a matched pair of mandos... or an A and an F.
Problem solved!
http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/coffee.gif http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/coffee.gif

[TommyK]

... I made her a washtub bass so she can play too....
Washtub bass??? You got any drawings?
Do they get any volume out of those or are you just kidding?

[TommyK]

I have an unsupportive brother. He appreciates all kinds of music but get very annoyed when I play. He says that the mando is way #louder then his guitar (not that I have anything against it). BUt I only have to play louder because his guitar is drowning me out.
# I love my big bro, but he just frustrates me a little.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif
Big bros are always upset when they get upstaged by little bros. #Don't sweat it, He'll grow out of it.
I oughta know, I are one.

Woops with a handle like Emmie, you might be the little sis. Unless your name is Emanuel. Same goes for little sis's only more so. Unless, of course, someone else is picking on you then he's your knight in shining armor... always!

[Mandodoc]

Not kidding about the washtub bass, they are actually pretty nice sounding and have a very low learning curve. I googled this link http://www.s-w-b-a.com/bands/washbass.htm and there are a number of other ones as well, it was pretty easy to build, it sounds nice and it got my music loving but non-instrument playing wife involved so that we could play together, we even started (have since stopped due to lack of interest and we moved) a bi-monthly gospel bluegrass jam that we ran for a year. It was really fun and it was a real family thing.
jon

[JiminRussia]

OOPS! lets try this one again. When playing your new washtub, especially while learning, use an archers glove to keep the fingers of your pickin' hand from getting sore. it covers just the tips of the first three fingers of the pickin' hand. It'll keep the blood off of the other musicians when you've been playing steady for a couple of hours.

[b.pat]

Back when I was "Thumpin the doghouse" I always ended up using Duct tape.
# # # # # # # # # #B.Pat http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[Bluegrasstjej]

I love mandolins. #I love playing them and listening to them. #My wife hates them. #Says they sound like a sick animal, and she prefers b#%$os to mandolin. #
Well...I went out and bought a Schertler Dyn-m pickup last week, and she went through the roof. #Now she wants seperate checking accounts. #Anyone else have someone in their life that DOESN'T support their mandolin endeavors, musically and financially? #Am I headed for divorce here?
That sounds awful. I don't think I could ever live with someone who didn't support my interest for music and mandolins. I don't know what I would do if I was you. Can't you talk with her? Isn't there anything she wants to do that you don't like?
don't know if that would help....but sometimes it can be a way to make her accept it..

im not married but i my girl friend loves when i play (for now) however im always out playin the thing till all hours of the night so she HATES that.... and it reminds me of a great quote from one of my favorite songs ever......

"there never was nothin no greater than love, at least there aint nothin that i can think of, and fiddlin' will get it and drive it away if your not careful of when to go home" John Hartford

[Davetnova]

My wife left three months ago. For over a month I coudn't bear to play at all but its coming back and I've got all the practice time in the world.

[mancmando]

Interesting that there are so many replies on this topic!

I'm pretty lucky as my girlfriend has recently started learning the mandolin http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif although she seems to prefer me playing the guitar to mandolin http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif

[pickles]

Quote (pickles @ Sep. 21 2004, 13:53)
Diamonds? Not for me. My husband better just make sure that I get as much time to practice as he does.
Mr. Pickles:
You need a matched pair of mandos... or an A and an F.
Problem solved!

I gave him a guitar for Yule, and now I simmer and feel jealous as he gets more time on the guitar than I get on my mando. He's not sounding too great yet but he has so much fun, I'm happy for him. I don't want him to play less, I just want me to play too!

So guys, put down the mando now and then, pick up the laundry hamper or the dish cloth, and make sure your love gets some time to pursue the creative dream of her choice.

[Dave Caulkins]

Heh,

Some pretty amusing observations here from the married sector. My wife was actually a mandolinist for a time (I actually gave her the first mandolin she ever owned, so I was responsible). In her youth, she played accordion (later took up the concertina) - now there's one to scare your spouse - makes a b@%jo look tame! She took up bass (for college, no mandos allowed) and actually seemed to prefer it to mando (sacrelage). We continued to play together (can be a source of stress for both, ask any married musicians) until we went back to school for a 'day jobs'. With no time in Chiropractic college (took about 5 years with undergrad requirements) my wife just about quit playing anything.

She has since slowly come back to mandolin and a violin that she bought while in school, but she has lost some chops (I think this really frustrates her...).

Thus, she is pretty supportive of music, just not GAS or MAS. She was incredibly loyal to her instruments as she stuck with the first good one she could find (she had a nack for finding good ones). She actually thinks I'm crazy, perhaps obsessive compulsive with changing instruments. I've had time periods set that I needed to keep an instrument for (5 years being the longest one, yet...). Even my Tortis pick has a 'one year' clause before I can buy a second one. Even though she never says it I can see the fear in her eyes over the Rigel Jethro.

It definately has its advantages and disadvantages when your married to another musician. She can be ruthless in analyzing my playing (she tells me when I'm off, when I should pay attention to my band members, and when I should shut up, nicely of course http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif ).She calls tunes for my band, and has a good success rate (like 100%). She tells me when my strings are dead, and also when I buy the wrong brand. She thinks my Rigel is a sissy mando, too little volume and bark for her (she played BG and some British/Celtic stuff primarily). She really likes my mandola though, even though the 'sponsoring' sale of my old Ovation fell through. She actually told me to stop trying to sell it, and keep playing guitar part-time (she can hear when I'm sloppy and clamming in say Eb and is quietly trying to tell me to play guitar on those songs).

Egads... I'm rambling...

Dave

[Burbs]

Dr Phil!!?!!

Help!!!!