Good Banjo Quip

[John Flynn]

My daughter just IM'ed me that her American Constitution professor (my daughter is a Journalism and Political Science double major, headed for law school) told the class that he has been playing banjo for nearly 50 years, is really into it, goes to festivals, etc.

He said, "The banjo is to music what the Etch-a-Sketch is to art!"

I got a kick out of that. I just thought I'd pass it on.

[Brookside]

That's quite a slam on the Etch-a-Sketch.

[J. Mark Lane]

That's quite a slam on the Etch-a-Sketch.
Now that is funny.

Incidentally, Johnny, let me offer this thought for you: as a lawyer myself, if my daughter announces an intention to become a lawyer, I will do anything in my power to stop her. Let her become an artist, a rock star, an architect, a high school administrator, a comic book illustrator... anything but lawyer. And I am serious. I'd be happy to talk to her...but you will need anti-depression medication for her once I get through with her. <G>

Mark

[John Flynn]

J. Mark:

Interesting perspective. I would be very appreciative if you PM'ed me with your thoughts on that. The law thing that is...the banjo thing I get already!

[J. Mark Lane]

Johnny, I pm'd you, but the pm thing seems screwed up (it said "thank you BenE for sending your message "I agree", when I am not BenE, and my message was entitled "Lawyers"). Hm. Scott? Help? Let me know if you get the message or not. It's quite a rant <g>.

[BenE]

Would the real BenE please step forward!

[J. Mark Lane]

I agree.

[TonyP.]

Aw gee J. Mark I was hoping to get to hear the anti lawyer rant too! I have one kid who is a very good artist and wants to be a comic artist and the other is becoming an actor. I was hoping it would make ME feel better about their choices!

[J. Mark Lane]

I'm not sure I want to say all that publicly, Tony <g>. I'll think about it.

[John Flynn]

I have one kid who is a very good artist and wants to be a comic artist - TonyP
Just FYI, I have a brother who wanted to be a comic artist. He was talented enough to get accepted by one of the top art schools for that. It's run by some of the people who draw Marvel comics. He lasted one whole semester. The workload and the competition were fierce. He came back "shell-shocked." After goofing around for a while, he shipped out as a sailor on a merchant ship and now years later he has worked his way up to bosun (Short for the old sailing term "boatswain," kind of like the "foreman" on a ship). Go figure. Hey, at least none of them want to be professional banjo players!

I suspect that in almost any career field there are those who are very happy and those who are finding their career doesn't meet their expectations. #Its good to hear from both sides but I'd certainly be cautious about accepting advice of the nature "I don't like this so no one I know should do this..."

[John Flynn]

Tim:

Wise words, thank you. I also think that these tough economic times put the crunch on a lot of professions. That does a couple of negative things: First, it brings out the worst in some people, especially some senior managers in those professions, and the rest of have to deal with that day in and day out. Second, the bad economy puts limits on people's ability to easily go do something else for a living, so people feel trapped on top of everything else.

I have run into a lot of people lately in a wide variety of professions, including a management consultant, a very successful retail store manager, an airline pilot, a doctor and now a lawyer, who have gone out of thier way to say they no longer like what they do and would not recommend it to a young person today. None of us, however, would want to trade it for being out of work, like a lot of other people are right now. I have been there myself in my career and IMHO, unemployment is the ultimate bad gig. As the saying goes, "Times is tough!

[J. Mark Lane]

Hi guys,

Wise words all around here. Just fyi, as I said to Johnny privately, "it ain't just me." I know many, many lawyers (my mailing list has over 1000, and that's just the ones I know "personally" <g>). I've had many, many lunches, dinners, etc with my fellow members of the Bar. By far, the most popular topic of conversation is "how do I get out of this profession?" I don't know many lawyers who are really happy with their career choices. I do know lots of people in other professions who are.

It's not money. I make more money now than I ever dreamed I would make, and more than I could at most other professions. And it's not "upper management." I am the upper management. Have been for a long time. And it's not "these economic times." Lawyers typically thrive in hard economic times, and anyway it was the heady days of the M&A craze when I entered this profession. It's something far deeper than any of that.

Perhaps it all springs from the naivete that most people have going into law school and the legal profession. Many of us wanted to "do good" in this world, and saw the law as a way of doing so. And yes, certainly many of us have "done good" (I've done a lot of pro bono work myself, and in fact have been repeatedly honored for that work). But we approached the whole thing with a degree of idealism and optimism regarding the legal system, the judiciary, the lawmaking process... even the cynics among us (and I count myself in that crowd) still have had some faith in the process, and in the human beings who give it flesh and bone. But those human beings are far more flawed than I realized going into it. I am reminded of a Richard Shindell song entitled "The Things That I Have Seen." The things that I have seen have not been pretty.

And fwiw, no, I have not been functioning at the dregs of the profession. Quite the opposite (not to boast, mind you, it means little to me).

Whatever. We all find our own way. And in the last analysis, it has fed me and my family, and I have had good moments. Many of them. And I still do and still will. My determination from the very beginning has been to be myself, and not to let others drag me down to their level (thank you, Bob Dylan). Still, I will encourage my own children to seek out lives in which their own creativity can be realized in a more personal, and more satisfying way. Hopefully, I will be able to provide the financial backing for them to do that...thanks to the law <g>. But I want to see them satisfied with the products of their efforts.

Please note, despite the tone, I am not a depressed or down-and-out person. No way. I smile all day long <g>, and I enjoy my life. It's just...the things that I have seen <g>.

Mark

[Pete Martin]

I would want my kid to become a lawyer before a b@jn* player :-)

[TonyP.]

I have many friends who are lawyers(one of which is my webmaster, bless his heart and all his vital organs) and to a person they remind me of you J. Mark. They are good people who care about things and have this need to set the world right. They also realize that they are going to only be able to do skirmishes in the war for justice so practicality has made them realize they can't win the "war". A couple have retreated into related avenues like research and teaching and they continue as support and come out do battle when they feel the need is great.
My son when he was 12 he wanted to draw anime (Japanese comic art) and was sitting at his table and looked up at me and said"I can't do this" and I said art and music is not what people think it is. Both of them are 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. So he started working out of books and when he got that part he would ask what was next and I would get him the next thing. When he was 16 we went to the ComicCon( the biggest and best in the US) in San Diego. He got to sit down with a guy high up in Dark Horse Comics. C was the only person that day who the guy had talked to that had done his homework and did what you are supposed to do in his presentation. The guy was impressed with his art, especially his age, but didn't want him to quit his schooling to go into the business. Sage advise but also let him know he was on the right track. I also at his age wanted to be a animator but had to give that up because it was '72, the Vietnam War, the first big gas crunch, bad economy, no jobs, etc. so I became a mechanic. I was not suited to it because I wanted to do it RIGHT instead of fast. I was a good mechanic but it also seemed evil to support one of the things that is destroying the world, so after 18yrs of it I quit. Went into making packing house machinery(feed people, non polluting etc.) but when you see how poor Mexican/Mexican American people are exploited by these rich farmers and we who make the machinery are exploited by the manufacturers, it's big fish gobbling up the smaller fish no matter where you go world.
So that's why I play music, to connect to that creative place, and try to stay away from exploiting or being exploited as much as possible. On this level it's not too bad. It also pretty much is a sure thing that the "big fish" don't care about us as long as we are playing Bluegrass, but God help us if we ever try to make money at it.......

[J. Mark Lane]

So that's why I play music
And that was pretty much exactly my point. If I can steer my children in directions that get them there earlier in their lives, so much the better.

http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Brookside]

Hey Tony, I knew a kid in grade school who wanted to be an actor. I can imagine as a parent how hard it may be to be supportive of such an endeavor. His name was Jeremy Boring, a most unlikely name to make it big in acting. He went from that Topeka schoolyard to a Suburu commercial to a couple of bit parts in television to the big screen. He has co-starred with the likes of Mel Gibson (The Million Dollar Hotel), Tom Hanks (Saving Private Ryan) and George Clooney (Solaris). His name today is Jeremy Davies. Just goes to show, ya never know. If they persue acting with the same determination they might persue another profession, they really can make it. A little talent doesn't hurt either. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

I guess I wonder how bad the legal system would be if those idealistic people didn't at least make the effort. #In many ways, the individual soldier's family would be better off if he'd chosen a different profession. #Same with many other professions. #There are few giant leaps of progress, usually just small steps by lots of individuals. #Sometimes all you do is slow the downhill slide but you still did something.

My personal experience is that it is much better to not make your creative hobby your source of support. #That way you'll never have to choose between artistic integrity and feeding your children. #

My only disagreement with J. Mark is that, in his position, I think I'd tell any prospective law student the good and the bad aspects of the career instead of the "do anything to stop them".

[John Flynn]

Words to live by:


Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive in old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love
- Willie Nelson

[pickinpox]

Elen has been silent on this thread so far.....reckon she is busy talking Hans into building her a banjo? http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[TonyP.]

One of the most profound things that changed my life(besides getting married, having kids) was staying home for 5yrs with the kids till they got into school. That is when they truly are in their purest form and unfortunately for most are in day care or pre school . Yeah, they are going to change, but there are some things they do that they don't even know are unique because they have always had it. My kids are 180deg different right down to the cellular level. What one is allergic to the other isn't and vice versa. They are look different, one dark, brn hair, brn eyes, the other fair, blond with blue eyes. That's the way my wife and I are too, but the kids are mix in that one looks like my side, but mentally is my wifes' side and the other kid is opposite of that! I told my wife why didn't we get a manual with these kids when they were born! C has always had dog ears, which made it hard for him to be in a classroom, too noisy and chaotic but when he started playing guitar he could learn licks and phrases almost instantly. Hates songs though, just wants to hear/play instrumental music. S can remember anything she hears and has perfect pitch. In choir she is always the one the teacher has do somebodies part for them and she and one other girl are always given the notes(usually high) that nobody else can hit. She also remembers lines in plays instantly and her uncle who teaches drama says of all his students she is the only one who acts with her whole body. My point being I was "made" to be a mechanic and my life was miserable. My parents were both workaholics and they made that look totally un appetizing , so I'm hoping for something in between for my kids. My wife and I decided years ago our measure of success for our kids is if they could pay for their own therapy http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[mcmando]

Hope no one minds if I chime in here--

My father grew up in the depression era, was the first in his family to go to college (worked his way through), and went on to be a successful business owner. #He sold the business and retired at the age of 47. #

I remember my Dad's advice on career selection when I came of age to consider such things. #He said: "I think people who say you should do what you love are just being silly. #We work to make money. #Work should be two things: tolerable and profitable."

It seems like people's thoughts on this have changed a bit in more recent times. #We all seem to feel a greater need for self-actualization than folks in our father's generation. #We believe that work should be as much about personal fulfillment as it is about meeting needs. Maybe that's because our need's are met, and often far exceeded, while those in the depression were more concerned with finding a way to meet basic needs.

I used to be tough on Dad about his stance and the advice I was given. #I pursued the career that he steered me toward and I am now the owner of a successful business. #Like so many others who pursue avocations that they feel a passion for, I've begun to pursue music in the middle stage of life, and find myself wishing that I had pursued it earlier. #I even find myself dreaming that if I had, I may have made a vocation of it and been more happy and fulfilled as a result.

I attended a recent seminar at a local church on the topic of fathering. #It made me realize that I've been too hard on Dad for his views and for the advice that he gave me. #He wanted what was best for me and you know what-- he was right! #My needs and the needs of my family are more than met. #The fact that I have the leisure to pursue a passion like music is more than perhaps 99% of the world's people will ever know.

This realization has allowed me to enjoy my work better than I had, and perhaps not to push so hard for even greater success, but to accept where I find myself and what I do. #I think Solomon had it right when he wrote:

Ecclesiastes 5
18 Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him-for this is his lot. 19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

Looking for work to make me happy is looking in the wrong place! #My happiness is contingent not on the work I do but how I choose to respond to that work-- accepting it and being glad in it for providing for the needs (and even desires) of me and my family.

Wow-- this got longer than I wanted it to!

Cheers,

Matt

[Ted Eschliman]

I told my Mom I wanted to be a musician when I grow up.
Her response: Son, you can't do BOTH...
But in seriousness, I knew I had to be involved in music, so I got my college education as a music teacher, and was sidetracked for the last 24 years in music retail, where I am quite involed in music in a different way I ever imagined.
I'll never get rich, but I get to hang around musicians (and b@^#0 players, too), author a music website, write educational articles for a music publisher, and play music in church (the ultimate opportunity to do something musically significant).
I feel quite blessed.

[pickinpox]

I told my Mom I wanted to be a musician when I grow up.
Her response: Son, you can't do BOTH...


Best line I've heard all week. I'm sure going to get mileage out of that one. http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

[chipotle]

Wow Matt, you hit the nail on the head, great post!