Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

[John Flynn]

I am in an 8-person string band that has played about 10 gigs. I helped found the group along with another guy. Over the last few months, four of us have had an increasing feeling that this group is limiting us. There is a disparity in playing levels, committment levels, goals, musical choices, etc. and the size of the group is just unweildy. We like everyone on a personal level and want to remain on good terms, but we have decided that the four of us are going to split off and do our own thing. That decision has been made.

Now we are faced with telling the other four. The four are actually two married couples. They will not be able to be a band on thier own. One person who will really get hot is a banjo player who has tried to self-assert himself as the leader, and his style in doing that is another reason for our dissatisfaction. Any ideas on how to tell the others the four of us are leaving and not make ememies?

I would doubt that you can do that. #There was a thread about a bad singer but you are aware of that one. #Do you have any shows scheduled in the future with the current or future band? #If so, make sure you handle it is a manner to meet your obligations, be honest and as tactful as possible about why you are leaving and hope for the best. #The best is really to leave knowing you didn't do anything wrong (hence doing any scheduled gigs with the old band). #The rest is their reaction to your actions and you can't control that.

[Brookside]

You could say, "the four of you are way too good for us and we don't want to hold you back." http://www.mandolincafe.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif Seriously though, there will be hard feelings but good friendships will prevail. Even the Beatles had to dump their friend, Pete.

[Christine W]

Honesty is always the best policy. Tell them you guys want to explore other avenues and want to be more focused on the group and commit more time and energy into it. since the other people in the group don't want to commit more time and energy into the group they #shouldn't have a problem with it.
Or maybe you four guys can branch off ,do your own thing and just play with the others every #once in a while, play a gig here and there. THat way you aren't excluding them completly.

[Tom C]

I wish you can send 'em my way. My friends have been so busy since Christmas with personal, family and health issues -I'm buggin out.