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Are You A Bluegrass Redneck?

Take the guess work out of your status as a lover of bluegrass by taking this simple test. Check if true.

Your child or pet is named Earl, Lester, Ralph or Carter [+20]
Own Trampled By Turtles recordings [-20]
Non-traditional shaped/colored instrument [-15]
Own or listen to jazz, rock, classical, other non-music [-25]
Understand and willfully use diminished chords [-20]
You frequently utter "that ain't bluegrass" [+10]
Plaid cowboy hats have sentimental value to you [+10]
You admire or possess a good "hair helmet" [+10]
"That ain't no part of nothin'" has meaning to you [+10]
Confederate or U.S. flag sticker on instrument case [+10]
Your instrument plugs in [-10]
"Banjo music" is not an oxymoron [+15]
Frequently drive 300 miles to play a gig that pays $40 [+5]
Drink French wine [-10]
Mandolin costs more than truck, truck more than mobile home [+10]

<< Your score

Making sense of your score:

50 to 100: Congratulations. The real deal, bluegrass redneck status!
0 to 49: Bluegrass pretender.
-1 to -49: Son, ya don't love your bluegrass.
-50 to -100: Run if you see a bluegrass banjo player.

NOTE: if you enjoyed this exercise, proceed to the Random Bad Bluegrass Band Namer.

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Disclaimer: this test has been scientifically tested and approved by the Mandolin Cafe Bluegrass Laboratory®. The author means no ill will towards the bluegrass community or their music and has himself played in bluegrass bands for close to 30 years. We realize there are those with no sense of humor who will be unable to recognize this is all in good fun. Please direct your complaints in this matter here.

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